Our Trip to Mansfield and the Laura Ingalls Wilder Historic Home and Museum

As an early birthday present for Penelope I took her on a trip to Mansfield, MO to visit the Laura Ingalls homestead and museum! Her actual birthday is in October, but Wilder Days is held in September each year and we wanted to go! There's a big parade in town, lots of fun events, a fiddle off, and a pageant at the town park and amphitheater near the high school. We have been meaning to go for years and I realized time was slipping away from me. Penelope will always love Laura, and I am willing to bet her passion will find her in Mansfield many more times in her life, but she only has but this one chance to go to Mansfield as a (barely) 10 year old girl. At first we were going to take the whole family, but I soon started to worry about not being able to spend the quality time with Penelope at the Laura Ingalls-Wilder Museum that I had always imagined. I became concerned that Ricky and I wouldn't get to see much of the pageant because one of us would be juggling almost two year old Madeline at all times. Bea and Madeline, and even Everett, are really too young for us to take to most places without some degree of chaos.  I really wanted to experience the trip with Penelope rather than just something we drove her to go see and do. It was a  last minute resolution that I would just take Penelope, Sebastian, and Layla. We also invited Ricky's parents and sister to meet us there too! That made the trip even more fun! So, Ricky stayed back at home with the kids. It's about a three hour drive from our house. To a lot of people that's a little, teeny-weeny day trip, to me it's A BIG DAY TRIP. I'm not really a good traveler! And, I left my nursling baby at home. It's a big deal to leave a whole day from morning to bedtime! One day it won't be, but right now it just is.

We stopped for yummy pastries on the way and had a very nice drive through the country to Mansfield, MO. The park and amphitheater where the pageant is held had a playground and a great layout overall. It was nice to know for next time that this will be totally do-able with younger kids. While waiting we bought some handkerchief dolls that were for sale.

The Pageant:  “Laura’s Memories”
The pageant was very enjoyable. It's full of little children of all ages and it's so fun to watch! The kids work so hard and the program comes together so nicely despite a very large cast of mostly children!  It really told so many stories. It was so neat to have read the books, so all the story lines and songs were already very familiar to follow. Penelope looked on in awe. She had a quite serious face for most of the performance. I think she was so amazed as it came alive.

After the pageant we headed out a couple of short blocks away to the cemetery where we got to pay our respects to Laura. Penelope left a pencil on her tombstone thanking her for writing and sharing her stories with us and the world.

Penelope loved the brief bit we saw of Mansfield and so did I. We then headed to Rocky Ridge Farm!

Laura Ingalls Wilder Historic Home and Museum

There's a large museum expansion that just opened up this year. It is filled with so many personal items: clothing, shoes, toys, books, handwritten notes, real sewing and lace hand stitched by Laura. (She was wildly talented.) So many items that belonged to and were once used and well loved by all the family. It's a beautiful, touching tribute and time capsule of their lives. It was extremely special for us, even breathtaking at times. It amazes me more than ever how many people feel so connected to her and her family through the stories about her life. It's remarkable to ponder over and over how it really wasn't all that long ago that people had to work harder than we could ever imagine working just to survive. When I was a young girl I enjoyed Little House on the Prairie the book and I loved the television show. I think it's really quite special and amazing Laura ultimately got to talk to and hear from her fans as she lived out her days on Rocky Ridge Farm. She died a very famous and well known woman. I think it's special Laura got to know the imprint she made on generations of people, even having the Mansfield library dedicated to her while still alive. And now here we are, MORE GENERATIONS enjoying her work!  It's a very special legacy that brings tears to my eyes.

Each year more than 30,000 visitors from all 50 states

and about 20 countries make their own pilgrimage to the Laura Ingalls Wilder Historic Home

You couldn't take pictures in the home, but at the entrance of your tour you could take a picture with this accurately sized Laura cutout. She was very little!

There was no photography allowed inside the home, but this photo I found (stole?) online.

I ADORE the kitchen. 

The kitchen was divine and I loved it so much. The wallpaper made my mouth drop open. The home is perfect in every way. I absolutely fell more in love with it with each room we explored. I think we all did. I cannot wait to visit with Ricky. He loves old homes too and grew up in an old farm house himself. Ricky's parents and sister Deanna loved it too. We have a real *love* for this kind of thing!

Right after snapping this photo I was told I wasn't allowed to take photos in this area. OOOPS!

This is the beautiful Rock House, a beautiful more modern home that Rose (Laura's daughter) built for her. This is where the Little House books were written. Rose, a successful author herself, first encouraged her mother to tell her stories on paper.

You can read about both homes and their roles in Laura's life here 

 

Penelope's birthday gift from the gift shop: a new beautiful prairie dress, and Sebastian's coon cap.

We went a little crazy in the gift shop. We bought bonnets and coon hats and a lovely print of the below artwork.

Back at home we started planning next years trip. The other kids are so excited. I immediately followed a bunch of Mansfield pages on Facebook to keep up to date with the town. For fun we tried to think of businesses we could open up in Mansfield. Penelope wanted to move there so bad! (still does!) So we day dreamed about it and looked at maps of the area. Immediately the kids got right back into their prairie games at home. Something adorable is that Madeline will answer to the name Baby Grace just as well as she naturally answers to Madeline because they play so often. (Laura's youngest sister.)

I started a Facebook page to record the prairie kids' adventures, crafts, and play. I hope like minded Little House / Laura fans might find us. You can find that here:  Little Playhouse on the Prairie

January at the Park

I needed today. It was full of nature and children.

It was full of the outdoors and free play. It was full of my favorite young people and it was a much needed break from the indoors and my own brain. The sun cracked through the clouds as we inched towards 70 degrees in January! The sky stayed blue for several hours. Clouds rolled indecisively in and out. The sky, clouds, and bare trees made a beautiful backdrop for photography. I love how in the winter the tippy tops of the tree branches look like nothing more than little sticks reaching far into the sky. The trees are so exposed.

I don't like a lot about winter. So it's a big deal when I find something I do like. It's an exercise I need to implement and embrace because I whine every single darn day about winter. Our thoughts shape our moods and actions, so I know this incessant complaining is really bad. This winter is dreadfully dull and I feel awfully uninspired. Today I took time to hear my little ones. I took a break from my complaining about winter and the chatter in my head (my to-do list) and I just let myself be myself with them. I rediscovered a lot.

Madeline was darling as she explored and loved every minute of it. She's been very needy (as I've written about in past posts) and I have neglected to realize that she is probably going through similar outdoor withdrawals just as I am. She spent all spring, summer, and fall outdoors. She loved the outdoors and when the weather finally turned cold she became whiny.

Sure, shes been teething. But seriously, I am realizing she is literally climbing up the window because she wants to be outside. She stares out the window and asks to go out all the time. How confusing for her! I hate the cold so I don't take her out. The kids do a little but not much. Realizing this will definitely help me help her.

Bea and I talked about seeds, trees and moss. She asked me about trails and the posted signs as we waked on trails at the park. I pushed Madeline in the stroller and we had a great time. I really loved just listening to Bea chatter on. We took some moss home and Bea made a moss garden. It's been forever since I just enjoyed them without being rushed or thinking about the house. I miss that.

At bedtime it was still 68 degrees. Bea and I went outside to tell the moon goodnight. She always calls the moon her moon. I told her she could touch the moon and I took a picture of her. She ran inside so excited to show everyone her picture. Her excitement was amazing.

I'm telling her, "Keep reaching! Keep reaching! Hold it! You are holding it right now!"

Today at the park, Everett (6) tripped on some branches on the way to the car, he exclaimed that he "found nature." It made me laugh as he came up with a tiny acorn cap in his hand and a big smile on his face. He loved it, however, he ended up losing it on the way to the car. He wailed over his loss. I walked him over to a random tree and we gathered black walnut shells that looked like little boats and the nut meat that resembles owl faces. This delighted him and he no longer wanted an acorn hat. The ones I found to replace his were too big anyway he said.

The kids swung on vines with their friends. It was just a fabulous day. I feel so inspired and refreshed.

October, the Good and the Bad

Madeline turned one on the 28th.

  Happy Birthday Madeline

Every morning Madeline sits on my hip as I wash the stove. On this morning, I handed Layla (12) my camera and asked her to take a picture of what I thought would happen. I handed Madeline the rag for the first time ever and just looked her. She blinked twice, looked at the rag, and then went to work right away. I LOVE watching these amazing moments of development!! And of course, she felt proud of herself! I figured she'd mimic what she saw me always doing.

Madeline is such an interesting child with a cute personality. She is very watchful and determined.  She loves to snuggle with everyone. She looks at us sometimes and just lets out a little laugh of delight for no apparent reason. (She's happy with her family I think!) She has made up her own language using the word mom. She says either "mom-mom!" or "maam" or "ma" depending on what she wants. "Mom-mom!" means get this for me. Sometimes she pats me while saying "mom-mom!" If she pats me on the chest repeatedly and urgently saying "mom-mom" it means she wants a drink of water. A drawn out and sharp "maam!" is an urgent call for help. A very simple "ma" is usually a more laid back casual call for me to look her way. It's also been her way of asking my permission. As I typed this she just did it! She just sweetly and curiously said, "Ma?" as she looked at my empty coffee cup next to the couch. She was very pleased that I handed it to her so she could see it. She recently went down the toddler size slide all by herself. She climbs everything. All of our chairs are outside on the porch because we gave up taking her off of them and the table. She's wild and sweet. We have no idea what life was like without her. If someone is crying she will go right to them and place her head on them and hug them. She has showed empathy well before a year old. A baby showing empathy at that young of an age is very powerful thing. Babies are so smart; this is especially true when they are nurtured and cared for. Deep neurological pathways are laid in the brain with more positive stimulation (less occurs with less stimulation) and they quickly become capable of amazing, amazing things. All babies are amazing and hold remarkable abilities. Nurture them, teach them, watch them! They are capable of so very much. The older kids marvel at the way she communicates with us. I tell them it's because we all show her love and constant attention. She knows we hear her!

October's end wrapped up six kiddo birthdays in three months! Phew! Madeline and Penelope are our October babies.

Penelope's 10!

 

New pioneer clothes

 Penelope-
Our Penelope turned 10. She loves the Little House series still and I'm so glad. She's so helpful and kind. She's happy to follow the rules and eager to please, funny that this makes her a very perfect fit in regards to what being a pioneer-child was most like! She makes parenting easy. She has a tender soul. She loves tomatoes and farm animals. She will sign up for any class, go to any event, and meet up with any friend. She is very social and happy. I love the way her eyes light up and her smile beams. She loves to bake. Family and fun is her life. She's a sweetheart in everything she does and is so much fun and also funny. I'm really proud to be her mom. I have so much fun with her. She has her father's outstanding memory, clever wit, and attention to detail and problem solving. She has her mother's silliness, restlessness, and love for baby and toddler care. A cute recent funny thing occurred at the grocery store. I asked her to grab two packages of ham. Aldi always has their ham shoved high and wildly stacked on the shelf. When she grabbed one package a bunch tumbled down. She caught most of them with two hands and without missing a beat hollered, "Ahhh help! Ham-alache!" I will always LOVE that! I was cracking up as we restocked the shelf.

Bea-
Yesterday Beatrice asked us if we knew why she loved squirrels. She replied to us sweetly, "Because I am a fairy girl!" That child is SO full of sunshine. Recently she has really started talking about how she is a bee. She likes honey just like bees and she is a bee too. It's very cute. She recently made friends with the statues at the store. I told her it was time to go but she told me she was talking with her friends. Luckily daddy was at home with the kiddos so I let Bea have her time.

Madeline got a broom and mop cleaning set for her birthday. She loves playing with my broom, which is obviously gigantic to her and not easy or very safe. We bought her the Melissa and Doug cleaning set that has a stand. It came with other supplies too (duster, mini broom, dust pan). It's super fabulous and great quality. Bea loves it too. I thought the stand wouldn't work out. I thought Madeline would knock it over or try to carry it around. She thankfully gets its purpose and leaves it alone. If she can't get her cleaning supplies off of it she hollers at me in the absolute cutest alarmist way, "Maam! Maam!" as she tugs at it and looks at me. It's SO cute!

Bea (3) told me in delight that she was a real girl now because she can sweep the floor. (And she asked me, "Right, mom? I'm a real girl!" for extra conformation.) I told her she was a real girl and a very good sweeper-girl. Ricky and I were so amused and laughed at how cute it was. Children are so sweet. One of the things I love about children is how they hold so much innocence and inner happiness. I wrote in another post about when Madeline was really little and how she said to me, "Mommy, you are a really big girl nursing the baby and putting me on the potty."

Children remind me to not take such little day to day things for granted. Sweeping is a chore (one we do in the kitchen 4x a day here because of all the kids and dogs) and fumbling with a small baby one-handed while lifting a two year old onto the potty is not glamorous or easy. Her view reminds me to be so grateful for the small things.

Weird & Wild October

The only key to our van key got misplaced this month. It was so lost that I had to have a locksmith come to our house and make me a new one.

September and October were months of so much running around: homeschool co op , Halloween parties, the zoo, homeschool homecoming dance, MANY other kid and teen events, giving Charlotte rides to college, gymnastics, lots of gorgeous weather and park days, lots of gas to get around, and tons of unexpected 'life happens' problems. All that running around is normal for some, but it's not my thing. I like being home more. Hauling so many kids around wears on me and the littlest kids who have frequent bathroom and food needs. It was wild! Also, doing the household chores is impossible if I'm not home to do them!

In an attempt to cut back on our crazy life, we got rid of all of our chickens in September. They were not staying in their designated areas. We had too many inbred, too many old hens, too many super wild ones. They also wandered to the neighbors frequently because they put cat food out for their cats. It was a mess. We actually began hating our chickens. As many of you know, I love chickens! We never had problems until this past year and a half, so we need to start over with a clean slate. We can easily go through five dozen eggs a week, so we kinda have to have chickens!

Our back fence for the goats needs repair. Ricky has been trying to work on it for weeks. Every weekend something else comes up. So the goats are in our yard eating everything. It's seriously crazy right now.

Goats and ducks and turkeys and dogs and cats everywhere. And they poop and eat and make noise making constant work to juggle along with the kids. (Whom also poop and eat and make noise. Ha!)
I am trying not to say it, I'm trying not to think it, but the fact remains: We need more space. Well, and more time! Time would be great.


Plumbing "Fun"
We have been enduring a six week septic problem with the main line to our home's plumbing. We had two companies out and they didn't help much. We rented an electric snake machine from Home Depot three times and now we finally think we have it done. Every week we would get backed up again and every weekend our life was consumed with having to fix it. Twice we had 3-5 days where we siphoned water from the bathtub after bathing and did the same for the kitchen sink in order to do the dishes. Our anniversary was spent cleaning crap from the basement drain and snaking the line together. Better than being apart at least! 

During one particularly long week of broken-ness Ricky fixed me up a make-shift way to do laundry for the week. I kinda freak out if I can't do laundry. I hate getting behind on laundry. The three hardest things for many families, but especially big family life, is laundry, dishes, and feeding everyone. (The three runner up things I'd say are keeping bathrooms clean, driving everyone around to events/appointments, and the noise level inside.)

If I can't do chores, like laundry, I start to whine about it. It just freaks me out to get behind. It's too hard to get caught up. Plus, we have a lot of wet laundry that simply cannot sit around: cloth diapers, bibs, dirty kid clothes (with food on them which can mold if sitting around!), dish towels, bath towels, rags.

We've had three major power outages and a couple septic problems over the years. Ricky always finds creative ways to keep our household running. He's a modern pioneer. He grew up on a farm and farmers can do anything (he reminds me of this). So, he made a way for me to do laundry without resorting to a washboard, which he at first actually suggested.

Doing laundry without using the pipes via a submersible pump, garden hose drain, and a storage bin.

We worked on our septic problem nearly every weekend for six weeks. It was on again off again. Improvement was made most weekends but by the time Thursday rolled around water started backing up into the basement drain again. It was finally suggested by our septic company that we camera the line. This was as we hit week four. It costs $299.00 just to look in there! On a gut decision we kept spending money on fixing it ourselves. We almost rented a plumbing camera ourselves but thankfully didn't end up needing to. In the end, we probably came out ahead money wise for all our efforts!

We have a main line outdoor access point below our porch. It's an odd shaped half moon inlet. It's never had a good cover. A long time ago the make-shift existing cover that came with this old house actually went missing. Near this area we also had some concrete steps/walkway start to break apart. We put off fixing it for a realllly long time. Crazy thing is that Ricky finally bought the stuff to repair the concrete right before our clog. We discovered that for who knows for how long, little tiny bits of gritty concrete, dog hair, and other outdoor debris had been falling in our main line pipe from the outside access! Also, we have kids that do stuff too.  For example, I actually dug this skeleton Halloween decoration out of the indoor (basement floor) access line.

I found this week three of septic clog fiasco 2016. We're a little bit Brady Bunch and a little bit Adam's Family around here.

The day our septic was finally (we think now for good) fixed our washing machine's timer broke. The washing machine we were using was given to us and intended to be a temporary solution to our old big front loader needing a complicated new pump. We never got around to ordering the parts to fix our front loader up, and a couple of procrastinating years later here we are. We browsed Home Depot  not expecting to find anything when we saw a floor model top loader with the biggest basin I have ever seen. It's a washer that retails for $799 and it was on clearance for $500. I am now in love! I soon decided I didn't want to fix up our old washer after all. I just want to sell it or give it away. We bought the new washer but not the matching dryer because our big dryer still works (but has some issues). I used the new washer for a week and fell more in love with it! I loved it so much I wanted to go back and buy the matching dryer. Luckily they still had the matching dryer on clearance. My new machines make me very happy. There are chimes and songs and lights; it's a total magical overload of sounds and lights. I'm not big into electronic things but I'm telling you, this is the most sensory pleasing appliance I have ever had! (It plays a little cute chimey tune instead of having a buzzer when a load is done) Life is made so much better by the simplest joys. Like new washing machines that make life easier!

So finally things seemed better. I have a key to my van. Septic is going well now. We didn't exactly want to buy a new washer and dryer right before the holidays, but such is life, and they are awesome at least. I'm a lucky lady! Not so crazy times anymore now for a while... Right?

Trader Joe's
I went to Trader Joe's last week and after ringing up an entire cart full of groceries I realized I had no money or debit card on me. Bea and Everett came in the store with me wearing no shoes (somehow they were forgotten at home).  We had just spent the afternoon at the rainy park. (Yep with no shoes on them, don't judge me.) So, I'm standing there with no money and homely, damp, shoe-less kids.

I was tasked with prying confused and barefooted kids out of the store without their cookies just as they started to cry. Sage (teenager) who was waiting in the van offered me twenty dollars upon hearing their sorrowful cries for cookies. I didn't really want to go back in and buy cookies. I wanted to tell them to get a hold of themselves. I wanted to not care about cookies when I had a missing debit card out in the world somewhere. But I did care. (But also I mostly just wanted a quiet ride home. If they get cookies then I get peace! ) They love those cookies and we only go to Trader Joe's about three times a year. I went in and bought the cookies.

Before pulling out of the parking lot I left a message for Ricky to ask him if he could pick up our abandoned groceries after work. Trader Joe's was holding them for me. Then I was almost run off the road during rush hour traffic. The lane was ending and traffic was at capacity. Soon my lane was totally gone and traffic to the left of me was at a stand still. I was driving along a narrowing shoulder and it was going to end. I sped up very quickly because I can do some serious Fast and Furious in that 15 passenger van of mine. I managed to get in front of a truck just as I was going to get wedged between traffic and a guardrail. I guess to him it looked like I gunned it in front of all the traffic purposely just to cut everyone and him off, but that's not my side of the story. Later down the road he showed me he is a big tough man as he gave me a huge one finger salute far extended into to the air as he exited the interstate. Really cool, dude. I hope you feel big and empowered flipping off a woman and a van full of kids. I told the kids if they ever do stuff like that they need anger management. And then that just left me with a 'what is wrong with people' feeling.

Thirty seconds later my gas light came on. I had no money but I had the money Sage loaned me. I used the leftover change from buying the cookies to get gas. Inside the gas station I say, "Thirteen dollars on pump thirteen please." I'm a little superstitious, it's been a bad day, and this is beyond fitting. Plus it's October!

Ricky thankfully picked up our abandoned groceries that evening. Trader Joe's had them in their cooler. So all-in-all I got my groceries! It feels like life has an extra slice of "humor" for me lately and I'm not really laughing.

I sure wasn't laughing a few days later as I was dragging all the kids to the bank to report my debit card missing and to get a new one. I wasn't loving the complaining that ensued about the right flavor of bank sucker afterward.We were in the car and there was a shortage of reasonably good flavored choices at hand. I don't even care they complained though.

Suckers are important. I remember this from childhood. (As are cookies too I suppose?)
So instead of totally losing my mind I thought to myself: Let the kids have a little hissy over suckers and don't say a thing about it because one day all this similar SUCKY stuff will happen to them and they'll have to suck it up like I am right now. Right now they get to be self absorbed kids. Getting the unwanted flavor of sucker is just preparation for adult life anyway.


Halloween is one of our favorite holidays second only to Christmas. It's a fun kick-off to the most magical time of year. Despite the craziness we had a beautiful month overall. This year we are having a warm and gorgeously long fall! I now am looking forward to hibernating for most of November and December! Time for some serious down time. It is hard balancing everything when we are so busy. I find it very hard to keep home cooked meals on the table. It's hard to get kids to eat veggies when I'm too busy balancing my budget and our social calendar to even make them. I want to bake again. I want us to do home based activities again. For a while I am ready for the kids to be bored and for me to have the house back in order. I'm ready to read to them more. I'm ready to do crafts again. My time is squeezed extra thin. I am so exhausted at the end of the day of running around that I fall asleep with the kids. I also want to appreciate and enjoy our new chickens!

Chickens
Our chicken-less lifestyle didn't last very long at all. By the months end we bought fall chicks so they will lay this spring. It was Ricky who brought them home. We were trying to decide if we should get some to over-winter or not. We talked about it and both of us kept changing our minds. The huge advantage is that by the time spring is here they will be laying. By the time spring is here they will also be on free pasture. If we get feeding and raising out of the way in the winter we enjoy the biggest cost benefit of laying hens in the spring. If we were to instead get them in the spring they would eat starter feed all spring into summer and not the free pasture. The spring chicks won't lay until the fall. Once winter hits, if it is very cold, they lay less too. Winter can throw them into an early molt also, and if that happens they won't lay anything all winter long. As soon as the septic problem was fixed I suggested we get chicks again. Ricky hesitated and stated the obvious: it was a bad idea because we are so crazy as it is. Then I reminded him how I do better the busier I am and so maybe if things get too boring I'll not do as well. I was half joking. (But staying busy is better for me, that's true.) Well, two days later Ricky went to the feed store to get animal feed and he brought home surprise chicks. I was shocked! I did not see that coming! He called my bluff. I gulped a little. Aw, crap!

I have carved out some time for them. I used to spend more time to doing animal things with the kids. So Bea and I sit down together and visit with the chickens. We hold them and laugh at them nearly everyday. It's something that I realized I didn't do anymore... enjoying the little things is important. Instead of rushing to feed them and pushing them aside as another thing on my to-do list I promised myself that I would take the time with Bea raising them and socializing them. They both benefit from the one on one time! We are also firmly committed to keeping the chickens on pasture in chicken tractors instead of roaming. This will help if any decide to roam and teach the others bad habits as well as keep them on a mostly pasture diet. We never used to feed our chickens this much feed. It's gotten totally out of hand! When we lived on more land we hardly ever fed our chickens. I miss that! They are amazing foragers if you do not spoil them too much!

A few Halloween Pictures:

 Bo Peep and sheep

My sheep!

 Madeline LOVED Trick or Treating. Bea walked the WHOLE time and was serious about candy collecting.

That's October! For better or worse, and for Tricks and Treats!

Summer Romance in a 15 Passenger Van

It's been a long week. Bea is going though some tough times. Suddenly she is clingy and whiny. I've had to switch gears on how patient I am with her. I feel snappy and annoyed. She is not usually high needs. It's hard when a child becomes difficult all of the sudden. It's like everything stops to a screeching halt. It's been unexpected and so my expectations for her have to catch up with reality. Madeline gets loads of attention of course, and I think Bea needs some lifting up right now. She just turned three, so her development and her way of understanding the world around her is changing dramatically. It's extra hard because Everett (5) has been in a super hard wild boy stage for what seems like forever. He's difficult and wild. He hits. He climbs. He broke his arm. He explores non stop. He screams in disappointment when he has to get ready for bed. (He has always had a hard time with switching gears.) Bea has picked up on some of  Everett's five year old defiant behavior. Double whammy! Having that sweet as pie baby girl scream 'no' to me is such a pain right now.

 You know when your child has a birthday and you wonder where the time went? With Everett each birthday we feel like the year in between has lasted forever. That child is high impact. He is very sweet and happy go lucky, but also very high speed. It seems like he should be ten by now. The years crawl on very slowly with him. They have since he was two. He's young at heart. He's smart, and focused when he wants to be, but he's young and impulsive. It's not terrible, it's kinda sweet, but it's freaking exhausting. When he's upset he has trouble with self regulation. He's the kid that loves everything though. He loves girls and babies and guns and butterflies. He loves super heroes and Lalaloopsys. He loves mud and art. He doesn't see pink and purple as too girly.  He's sensitive and tough. He's a great kid.

I called Ricky on his way home Friday afternoon and told him I had to get out of the house. He said we should meet up for dinner if I could escape. I loaded up the baby and left everyone else at home with a movie and popcorn. We had an impromptu sushi date night. I didn't feel like juggling the baby between us during dinner though. Since she was asleep in her car seat Ricky got our sushi to go. We drove our 15 passenger van over to Walmart just to park and people watch while we ate. The sun was just going down over Kohl's. Talk about romantic!!! :)

 Romance is what you make of it. When you are with somebody you love it doesn't matter what you are doing! Madeline slept the entire time so that was seriously lucky! It's hard to find the time when you have nine kids so you have to get creative and appreciate what you have. 

Spring 2016

This spring we got a new baby! This is Gunnar. 

Dumpster Rental for spring cleaning, downsizing, and garage cleaning most of all

I have learned over the years that there is usually a really difficult time (even several) throughout the year. Usually it has to do with various age transitions of kids. I used to get burnt out by it, but now I think I am so used to it I just let it flow. I know better days will come. I fight it less. It does not last forever.  Raising kids is like climbing a mountain. At first it's fun and you are all prepared and pumped, and then it becomes rough. Stuff you aren't prepared for can overwhelm you; situations you didn't pack for. Sometimes you even feel lost or stranded. Eventually you get your second (and then third) wind, and you pick up some speed. You eventually make it over. It just takes a bit more effort than those first steps! I see the pattern now. Right now it is loud and Ricky and I have trouble just talking over the noise! But it wont always be like this. It gets better. They get bigger. Things smooth over. (And then it will get hard again. Life is like this!) Having Madeline join the gang is really fun. She is just plunked right in the middle of all the chaos and she loves it.

 
It's always like that I suppose. Each amazing one of them right in the middle of crazy-everything.

Nine kids is hard...but is it really that different than six? (It's not, both are hard.) Really though, I am scrambling at trying to find ways to cut back. We have way too much going on! We butchered a bunch of turkeys and chickens to thin the population. I have spent hours and hours planting, training, staking, and admiring my tomato plants. I love working in the garden. It makes me so happy. But every time I'm out there working my house is being wrecked, someone is probably watching too much tv, laundry is piling up, and the bathroom probably has an un-flushed toilet (from Everett age 5 most usually lol). I ignore my family to garden, and it's a slice of heaven on earth. My free time is a premium! And that's how I love to spend it.

Spring has been filled with new critters. We are struggling to keep our one acre farm actually ON our one acre. It's not easy. Ricky got ducks! We have a lot going on! LOL.

Beatrice holds a new chick hatched by a friendly and patient barred rock mama hen

Moving...

We like our home a lot and we have put a tremendous amount of hard work into it (and continue to do so), but we have been looking for a new place with more land to move to for a long time. We haven't found anything perfect yet. (Oh, you can try telling me perfect doesn't exist. I won't listen though.) We obsessively looked for the fourth year in a row this winter and into the spring. It is now feeling ridiculous at this point. We have a nice place to live now, which makes me feel so bad that I am often obsessed with moving. We can't shake it though. We want more land for a multitude of reasons. I have some boxes packed already and we have even put offers on places but they didn't work out. I am fighting staying here with my best possible efforts, yet here we stay firmly planted. There is a reason. Part of my lesson, I believe, is finding peace and contentment within. I am trying to master that. The other related lesson is faith and patience. 

Something I learned recently was how much I was ruining my children by constantly talking about what we were looking for and why we didn't like here. They have no idea our property is less than ideal to us until we tell them about it. This is the only home most of them know. This is their sacred childhoods. It really helps to see things through a child's eyes. They see things differently, or perhaps not at all. For example: Kids don't see the jelly they smeared all over the side of the jar, nor do they feel the peanut butter creeping up the knife handle making them sticky. They are too focused on their sandwich. That's annoying to grown ups but not to kids. Kids don't see things in the less than perfect way adults do. They don't dwell as much as adults. Kids have fun with what they do have. Kids are resourceful. Kids live in the moment. Kids are awesome. I want to be more awesome. I have been undoing the negative thoughts that I accidentally fed them about moving. When I open my eyes  I make sure I see blessings instead of shortcomings. How spoiled and accustomed we all become when we don't have to go without. Now I take a deep breath and look around at what we have. I have talks with myself. Human nature is to strive for more and better, it's part of survival and self perseverance. That can clash hard when we mesh that instinct with modern life. My mantra lately is 'be content.' I also tell myself, 'Teach your children well. They will follow you into to happiness or despair. It's my choice.'

And that's the kind of thoughts, mixed with some property hunting and soul searching that I have been up too. I looked at my garden the other day and asked myself what my 16 or 20 year old self would have thought of this place. I grew up in the desert, and while I can appreciate the desert as a nostalgic and unique habitat all on its own, I always loved woods, rivers, trees, and fireflies growing up. When I was visiting family or going camping, the smell of the farms and forests was so fresh and full of life. I can't imagine being anywhere else but the Midwest. I remember how much I just loved the Midwest the times I visited it before I moved. As a child I learned to swim and canoe in Missouri. As a young lady I played in the corn fields of Iowa. In my 20's I took jaw-dropping photos of sunflower fields in Kansas. The first time I drove through a small Midwest town my face was literally pressed to the car window. I recall thinking "This is why it's called God's country." I really do remember the total awe. Driving through small towns I had no idea houses were really different than the stucco ones I was used to. When I was a kid I wanted a family and an old house with a basement. When I was a teenager I adored sunflowers and couldn't get enough of them. Here I am in my thirties typing this in the 90 year old home Ricky and I bought together. The love of my life and blessed with all these children. Right outside my window are sunflowers. Twenty minutes ago I went down to my cool basement to do laundry.

Out my window June 2016

How stupid it is that sometimes it becomes hard to see what's right in front of us?

That's why I am writing this. Writing always provides clarity for me. Moving is just not what we are supposed to be doing right now. I would venture to guess that living happily, teaching the kids, and enjoying our life in little and big ways is what we are supposed to be doing right now! It's not that we can't plan to move, but maybe I can just let it unfold. Maybe it will take time.

The Farm

Two months ago we started visiting the farm more (Ricky's family farm). The drive is long with the kids and it's hard packing up. Each trip exhausts us but it's worth it. The kids love it so much, too. We want them to connect with the farm and our family there. We are actively overcoming feeling that we are always too busy to go to the farm. Ricky and I have lamented to each other about how we will always be too tired, and too busy, and it will always be too far. Always. Either we let that stop us or we don't. Are the rewards worth it? If they are then we do it. Just power through and just do it. 

So we have! It is glorious.

See how worth it it is:

Digging for worms with PawPaw

Madeline 6 months old

After we fulfill our promise to slowly spend more time at the farm we are going to fix up the old farm house there so that we have a part time place! We are very excited. So instead of focusing all our energy on moving right now we are trying to redirect that desire into something special. And something with more family time!!

Little Kids
I was wondering last month how I can forget how hard having a two (almost three) year old and an infant is?! And there lies the real dilemma: It is hard to get anything done with little kids! How do I forget this!? I never used to pay attention. Now I know why people stop having kids...it's hard! lol!

Madeline

She is sweet and amazing. Her intense eyes and watchful personality is starting to become more apparent. I see that I'm actually building a trust with her. She's not as free spirited and silly as the other girls. She observes differently than some of the other kids did. It's subtle, but I know it! I can tell. If you are not into astrology you won't understand, but I can tell I lighten her mood. I can tell I'm unfolding pages in her personality. I didn't know much about Scorpios, but occasionally I read about them since I had her... and so much I am experiencing with her is so true. Her happy and secure babyhood, because of gentle hands-on mothering and parenting, will help serve her for a lifetime. This of course is true with all babies and children. Perhaps though, the ones with the more difficult or secretive personalizes gain the most.  

Watchful Sisters 

When we get home from an outing Layla and/or Penelope stay with any little kids if I leave the van unattended. I don't ask them to. They just always have. Day-to-day Penelope and Layla will also often ask where various little kids are randomly. If it has been a while since they have seen a sibling they will check and see if they are napping or outside. Especially they check on under 5 year old aged kids. We have been home an hour and just now Penelope stopped playing with playdoh and causally walked over to me in the living room. She asked, "Did you get Madeline out of the car?" It's quiet in the house and she knows it shouldn't be. I can't even explain how much I appreciate and adore their watchful eyes. They have heard me say that kids can die in cars. We do kid counts. Their awareness speaks volumes about what good sisters they are. Something else I love is that they don't just think about themselves. There is something bigger than just them. They watch. They love. They take care of each other. 

The Kids: A Rundown

The Teens

 Charlotte (19) was decorating cakes for a local store and got quite good. She's extremely artistic and found a way to use her creative side on cakes! Wither her positive work ethic she worked her way into an unofficial bakery management position at only 19 years old. She was in charge of managing the daily bakery operations, baking, decorating, ordering, inventory, Etc. She was the sole person in the bakery for quite a while, often working overtime while trying to complete highschool! She is now focusing on college courses. She may go into business management with aspirations to manage a high end bakery. She is not sure though. She likes decorating cakes so much so she is trying to get more experience with wedding cakes.

There are so, so many things that Charlotte does for us. Charlotte is so amazing, and she is so fun to her siblings. She bought and filled mini piñatas for each of them for Christmas, she bakes with Everett every time I go some place he can't because of his broken arm, she watches the baby and Bea so I can garden, which is serious therapy for my soul. She helps all the time around the house. She is a hard worker. And she's so cheerful!

Sage (16) is a typical teenage boy that keeps to himself and doesn't rock the boat he is sailing on. He is tall at a whopping 6'3.  Poor kid hits his head on everything. He has friends that are into some various card games and chess. He is teaching himself guitar. He likes to work with his hands and is currently building a rabbit hutch for his rabbit. His white rabbit is named Shakespeare. It is cute when Bea says it. She says Shakes-beard. Sage is our super helpful outdoors farm kid and he helps with the animals a lot and doesn't mind heavy lifting. He's good at catching our turkeys and chickens. Sage hates indoor chores. All the kids are friends but he has a special bond with Bea. He loves weapons, fires, and self defense books. He knows a lot about history and conspiracy theories. He might already be a spy, but probably he just has lock picks, night vision goggles, and a mysterious personality all  for the fun of it. He doesn't like making his bed. It's my mission in life to convince him that it's worth the effort.

Ethan (16) is an extremely talented artist. It's not just a hobby to him. He draws for hours every day like it's air to him. Ethan and Sage have the same friends. Ethan is a bit less farm oriented than Sage, but he still loves animals and eagerly helps out. He likes mammals over the birds. He hangs out with our goats. He loves dogs most of all. Ethan nearly always picks indoor chores over outdoor. He can mow a yard fast and straight, which sounds silly to mention, but it is awesome! His handwriting is amazing! His room is almost always clean. He is so helpful around the house and never complains. He is super nice to his little brothers who want to play constantly with him. He is calm with Everett (and all the younger kids) when they throw tantrums and I appreciate it so much. Ethan is composing music and singing a bit with the keyboard we got for Christmas! He's very talented! He is young at heart and still runs around and plays with the kids.

Layla (11) taught herself gymnastics over the past year by watching videos online. She's very talented.

Her dad bought her a gymnastics mat last summer because she was so dedicated. There were many weeks that she practiced five hours a day doing gymnastics, watching tutorials, and stretching. We were stunned. We finally enrolled her in a gymnastics program at an amazing place. They were super impressed with her and moved her from beginner to advanced intermediate after two classes. I loved every time I heard them mention how impressive it was she was self taught. She then tried out for team and made it. She will be competing four times this year locally. She is advanced in floor work because that is all she had to train with at home. She is now trying to get better at bar, beam, and vault. As you can figure, gymnastics is her life right now. Layla is a very helpful and such is great sister. She goes everywhere with me even when kids are allowed to stay home. I often call her my personal assistant. She is extremely organized. This child could dress herself at 18 months old so...
Layla is always making up games for her siblings and is a natural with young kids. Ricky just laughs and laughs, like real laughter, to me in private because when she's being a stinker and moody to me he says she sounds just like me when I'm pissed off. He thinks it's hilarious.

Penelope (9) loves everything. She loves, art, cooking, farm animals, her siblings, games, and the list goes on and on. She is always up for anything. She loves the Little House books and dressing up like a prairie girl. I adore it and wished she'd never grow up! She's a natural at mothering and scoops up this baby in an instant. She is very smart and very advanced at child and baby care for her age.
   
She plays a lot with Bea and Everett. She is interested in gymnastics and has followed in Layla's footsteps a bit with that. She is gaining quickly in strength and balance from her gymnastics classes. Her favorite food is tomatoes. We just planted 40 plants. She has planted tomatoes with me every spring for her whole entire life! 

Sebastian (7) draws almost as much as Ethan.
 
He is really quiet and thoughtful, but also has a wild boy side that comes out especially when playing with Everett. Sebastian is tough and strong. Sebastian has quite a temper. His feelings can also get hurt very easily. He is a very tender soul with a very tough exterior. Sebastian loves playing chess and Magic the Gathering. He collects wolves. If he was an animal he would be a wolf. He's loyal, private, and fierce. If you upset him he doesn't forget. He enjoys running around and playing chase games. He loves babies. Bea and Madeline, with their giggles and fun, will often lighten his mood and crack his frown into a smile when times are emotionally tough for him.

Everett (5)

This kid has the most free spirit we have ever known. He loves babies and says Madeline is is favorite person. He loves to laugh and be silly. He will wrestle, play-fight, and run around almost non stop with anybody. He is very rough and he is sensory seeking. He seeks out textures, noise, and lots of stimulation. He has an above average pain tolerance. He is wild; Ricky and I always said that he was going to be our first ER visit with a kid, and we were right! None of the other kids ever have had an emergency room warranted injury. He climbs trees, to the top of our van, the pillars on our porch, up the walls, and a couple times he has stood still hiding in the frame of a window inside the house.  His new and tamer life is very hard on him due to the cast but he is really happy and positive most days. It is hard for us to get him to be careful with it! He smashes anything he can with the cast.

Bea (2) is really sweet and cute. When showing me her pine cone she said, "This is my best pineapple!" with a lot of ADORABLE enthusiasm.

  

She is a dainty little girl, and all girl in every way. She is tough and mighty, but mostly she is made of sugar and spice. She loves talking and is very good with expressing herself. She tells us Madeline is the best present she ever got. We never told her anything like that. She just came up with it. She says cute stuff like that all the time. She goes to gymnastics too. The teacher is amazing. There is a big foam pit the kids can jump in. They have in-ground trampolines. They play color games, learn balance, use beans and bars. It teaches a lot of great skills and they are so amazing with kids. Bea loves playing with play food, baby dolls, and her siblings. She also likes to call us Mother and Father. Cutest thing EVER? When she hugs us and says sweetly, "You are my mother." "You are my father." She closes her eyes and gives us big hugs when she says that. She's a doll.

Madeline is six months old and wobbly when sitting up.
   
Her real accomplishment is crawling. She can get across the floor already! She loves her siblings and loves watching them. When she watches them run around she will yell out baby talk and flap her arms up and down in excitement towards them. She loves her daddy and gives him the sweetest starry eyed smiles.

She is perfectly fun and sweet like the rest. She is a good sleeper, but prefers to be home for sleeping. She is a good car rider though which is a great thing for this busy bunch! 

Gymnastics is a huge part of our lives, this picture taken when Madeline is tiny bit older (7 months)

The kids had a fun spring with gymnastics classes, a project fair, and an art show. We do most things together and things that are nearly all ages together.

Everett Finally Broke Something
We were gone all day running errands and got home for an afternoon of beautiful weather, family time, and grilling. As soon as the car was unloaded and Ricky got the coals on the grill hot for kabobs, Everett (5) fell off the playground in the backyard. He was climbing up and down the monkey bar ladder and he fell landing backwards hard on his left arm. Sage (16) scooped him up and brought him to me. Sage calmly told me Everett was hurt and that he broke his arm. I looked at his arm thinking he was probably fine...a split second later I realized that my wishful thinking was not going to get us out of this one. I have never seen a broken arm before but everything about his arm looked very wrong and broken. It looked like rubber, had very little tone, and his wrist bowed upward and bent funny.  His arm was deflated looking and it was floppy. He fell from about three and a half feet, which is usually nothing for that rambunctious tree climbing kid, but he fell backwards and tried to catch himself backwards.

When Everett cries he is usually really hurt. He has an amazing pain tolerance. I yelled out to my family random things, "We are going to the hospital NOW! Keys? I need diapers. Where are my shoes? Oh my God, where are the keys!?" Ricky asked me if he should stay or go with me. I told him he's going for sure. A huge bonus of having many older kids is that we actually had that option. The teens were at my side asking what they could do and assuring me they had things at home covered. We had just unloaded over $600 worth of bulk shopping from Costco. Everything was a mess. Boxes everywhere. I had no idea where the keys ended up. I deal well with stress unless one of the kids is hurt. I almost can't see straight when there is a kid crisis. I was wandering around with Everett crying in my arms. He's five and so heavy. I was trying to get him to take deep breaths and he tried. He wailed that he didn't want to go to the hospital. He told me in all seriousness his arm wasn't broken and he just needed to rest it a little while. That's right. My five year old has an obvious broken arm and he stopped crying long enough to say he just needs to rest it. I told him there would be popsicles at the hospital and he became more accepting of the hospital. I couldn't cradle hold him anymore as it was getting me no closer to leaving. I was literally walking in circles around the house. I laid him on the couch. I had no idea where Ricky had gone. I assumed he was getting ready and dousing out the coals on the grill. Layla (11) was in the shower as all this was going on. She goes everywhere with me. She got dressed in a flash. I was still frantically searching for keys and telling the other kids to put away all the food. I was still pacing frantically. I didn't know where to look for the keys and my brain was in overload mode. I soon switched from yelling "where are the keys?!" to yelling about not being able to find my phone. It was taking me too long to get my head together. I had to tell myself to NOT call 911. I was wanting somebody else to take over. I felt like I was in a dream where I was being chased but unable to move. Everett sat crying on the couch.

Sage (16) scooped up Everett from the couch and held him until Ricky got him. Layla found the keys (she finds everything) and I now somehow had my phone in my hand. Love my kids! Layla toted little Madeline out to the car and put her in her car seat. I have no normal 11 year old, I assure you. She's amazing. We loaded up and left. Ricky rode with Everett in the backseat and held his arm. On the way I called information to get the hospital's number. I had the most insane experience with 411. I said the city and state and then I said "Hospital" and it couldn't give me a listing. I said the hospital name and it still said there was no listing. I said the city and state and the word HOSPITAL loudly. It told me no listing. I asked for an operator and it said it was an automated service. I did this four times. I was incredulous as my mouth dropped open. My attention turned to Everett's cries. He cried out that his arm hurt and I was close to crying. I held it together and found focus. I told Ricky to start asking Everett what happened in hopes it would distract him. Everett's crying slowed as he told us. Meanwhile, I decided I could be an ambulance driver. I was now super focused, cool and collected. Since I had no siren I was speeding only when 'safe' and changing lanes as I could without being jerk. I now had way more focus than back at home. I'm still laughing that my thoughts as I sped to the hospital consisted of worry and that I could totally handle being an ambulance driver. Haha.

We ended up being gone 10 hours after two different hospitals. It seemed an insane amount of time for a broken arm. (You should see the bills. It's a long story and I'm stopping there.) Overall we had amazing care. Everett is such a wild kid that we knew his cast was going to be a huge problem for everyone:

                     

First day at home birth a broken arm:

He was running outside and when I called him to stop he says, "I am not Everett I am Johnny Mountain Climber. I fell down a 300ft mountain and broke my arm." For an hour he wouldn't answer to his real name and only Johnny Mountain Climber.

He tried to break open a rock with a screwdriver.

I had to get him off the swing outside. Twice.

In the middle of the day Everett casually asked Layla if it is time for his next trampoline gymnastics lesson yet. 

Day two
I looked to my left and he is sitting on top of our vintage living room dresser eating a bowl of dry cereal. What in the world. 

Everett, you are fantastic and free and brave. I hope you know your spirit is strong and your will is mighty.