I've never kissed Batman

Sebastian told me something tonight and I really had no idea what he was saying. He was so cute and he was carefully explaining it. I nodded at him and smiled lovingly, he was being SO cute. His blue eyes were beaming back at me through a black, hard batman mask. He'd had the mask on for over an hour tonight. When he was done talking I told him he was so cute and to give me a kiss. He leaned in and I kissed him. I suddenly exclaimed, "I kissed Batman!" Without missing a beat he lifted his Batman mask up onto his head like you'd do with a pair of sunglasses, then in an excited and informative voice he said, "It's really 'bastian under here, see!" 

As if I didn't know. Hilarious. I adore his innocence, his playfulness, and the joy he brings me.

(He woke up tossing and turning in his sleep tonight talking about Batman :)

I love the fall ~ and early winter fun...

 Fall is the perfect backdrop for cute photos. This is such a great time of year to snuggle up with loved ones and enjoy the holidays. We were just talking about how we are ready for the season of coziness, delicious treats, seasonal foods and coffee creamers! We love warm sweaters, hot cocoa, pumpkin pie, rosette iron cookies. I love decorating early for both Halloween and Christmas to enjoy it for a while. We didn't build and decorate gingerbread houses last year, we will for sure make them this year (save uneaten Halloween candy for them)! Halloween is almost at a close and then two more months of fun before hibernating for the rest of the winter. We are like bears. This winters plans include learning piano and some Spanish, doing lots of crafts, crocheting and sewing. 

LOVE: mushy, kissy, make other people sick LOVEEEE...(our wedding anniversary!)

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I finally did my photo wall project for one of our bedroom walls. The theme is classic kisses. You can't see because of the flash glare but the bottom middle 5x7 photo is a picture from our wedding. (posted it below) It was taken in front of the stone steps by the creek at Indian S. Ricky is on one knee and holding my hands and I am leaning over to kiss him. I didn't intend to have it done right around our anniversary, but the timing was perfect.

The spacing of the frames wasn't totally ideal, but I had to work with plaster walls that crumble and needed to stick mostly with studs where I could for the larger pictures. It doesn't look so off in person.

I love this man

with every

ounce of my being.

(the best part is he loves me too!)

Our wedding anniversary was last Sunday and so I'm writing 10 things

I noticed that make our marriage great

1. Kissing (sure it's the same person over and over and over, but it's the person we are madly in love with. Kiss like it.)

2. Laughter (This is why we fell in love, really. We made each other laugh all the time and still do.)

3. Honesty

4. Trust

5. Saying sorry (Even when I don't think I'm in the wrong I say it. My husband actually invented this and taught it to me.)

6. Family values (Families stay together and kids deserve parents who aren't selfish or screw ups. Or both.)

7. Friendship (He is the only man that has ever told me I am his best friend.)

8. Loyalty

9. Being considerate (Avoiding fights, helping each other, the little things you do for each other add up to be huge)

10. There is no score (Dearest love of mine, I'll keep picking up your clothes and towels off the floor, you keep kissing me sweetly every single day. I'll keep cleaning up after your coffee cup in the living room, you keep being a fantastic dad. I'll keep cooking awesomely creative meals, you keep helping with the dogs and chickens every night. I'll keep rocking sick fussy kids in the wee hours of the night, you keep food on our table. You keep ignoring my PMS and giving me a hug instead of telling me I'm bitchy, I'll keep the laundry washed and folded. You keep ironing your shirts when you don't have one ironed, I'll keep making you lunch for work. You keep brushing kids' teeth at bedtime, I'll get them to sleep. You keep loving me and I'll keep loving you. You don't keep score and either will I, we are a team and we work together.)

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Cleaning up after the hubby... something so many wives resent. Not me.

My husband leaves at least some part of his clothes or socks on the floor every single day. He leaves his bathroom towel in front of the closet door every single day. I used to think this was annoying. For two years I wondered why it was so hard to walk a towel back to the bathroom, or simply place it in a hamper. I used to complain about it. I rattled off to myself when he wasn't home and I was picking it up. 'Dang towel on the bleepity-bleep floor again, how come you can't pick it up, it's not freaking hard, dang it!'' After a little while I felt stupid complaining about him leaving a towel on the floor while he was gone off to college to earn a bachelors degree and then later a masters degree. A masters degree he had to earn by driving into the city (four hours round trip four days a week) while working part time, keeping a wife happy and able to stay home with the kids, all the while being a good loving, playful father. When I started thinking about this it paled in comparison to me just simply picking it up for him. I started pretending that each time I picked up his towel he was saying 'I love you' to me. He has always treated me like a princess and wanted me to be happy. He gives himself selflessly to his family. He would rather spend time with us than do anything else.

This morning I'm looking to the left of me and in front of the closet floor is his towel on the floor. I'd be disappointed if it wasn't there. It's in my morning routine...nurse baby, check email, pick up his towel and hang it in the bathroom, make our bed, make the children's co sleeping beds in our room, make breakfast, have some coffee. About 4 days a week I get a phone call from him at work sometime between 10am and noon. He says, "Hi, I was wondering how your day is going..." 

I love my life.

Happy Anniversary to us

The Barbie Cake Tradition

The Barbie cake tradition started with Charlotte. She wanted a Barbie cake for her 5th birthday. This was before they had the Barbie cake pans you could buy. So I bought a little metal round mixing bowl from the store and put some cake batter in it. I greased up the bowl, baked it until it was solid in the middle, and it worked. I'm still using that same bowl 15 years later! The first cake took me a crazy three or four hours to make and decorate. When Layla was going to turn five Ricky and I made it together and it took about two hours. Our last girl to turn five is our sweet little Penelope Juliet, and this mom's getting good because I baked the cake the night before and then the next morning it only took 30 minutes to complete. She loves it. We had a really fun birthday! 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PENELOPE!

Ok, see the right side at the bottom of the dress, where the frosting is blobby and a different color? THAT is where the dog licked frosting off the cake because Sage put the dog on the chair for some reason ("Mom, I didn't see the cake there!" lol) and all I had was that color to patch it with! hah.

Baby Lisa

The missing Kansas City baby has my heart pounding and my nerves rattled.


I'm sad and nervous for the parents. I think it's horrible that they've been treated so badly; their local media, the community passing judgment, the police who interrogated them for 11 hours one day and then AGAIN the next day. The police accused her to her face. :(

I think that it's really hard to do the whole innocent until proven guilty thing sometimes...but it's important. Benefit of the freaking doubt people. Just for a little while. The baby hasn't even been gone a week. :( I just feel so bad for them and baby Lisa.

My heart is trembling for them because...

About three weeks ago my kids had the door open and were running in and out all morning. We have a baby gate at the front door that we usually keep up, it's not a great one but it's good enough when we keep an eye on it. The 3 and 5 year old climb over it to get outside and it loosens it after a while and it falls. After lunch Everett had just been walking around the living room playing with toys. I was in and out of my room and in the bathroom sorting laundry and such. After about 5 minutes I said, "Where did Everett go?" I looked at the front door and the gate was down. Usually if the door is open at least some kids are outside, after all we do have 7 of them! I walked outside and it was silent. No kids. We have a fenced in yard so it's not an immediate panic type thing but the fact that a baby could easily be snatched from the front yard never escapes my thoughts. I walked back inside and said to the kids in the dining room, "Have you seen Everett? No one is outside, where is everyone?" Charlotte was in her room upstairs. Two kids were in the dinning room, other kids came from other areas as I spoke. My boys started looking for him and calling his name. I ran to the road outside even though the yard is fenced. Then I saw the side gate was open. It is not close to the road, but he can walk. He can walk verrry fast. I yelled for more kids to come out and look with me. Nothing. We had to make sure the road was clear of him. I walked out in the middle of the street and looked around me before heading back inside. Just like how you check bodies of water FIRST. You check all dangerous places first.

All the kids, even the 3 year old, started looking around the downstairs with me. I sent one kid outside to look in the yard even better (behind the tree, Etc). Still no baby. I yelled for Charlotte who was in her room upstairs to look upstairs. He never goes upstairs but he has the climbing ability to get up there and the door leading upstairs was open. She said he wasn't up there, this is when she joined the search. We scoured the house and I hollered out ideas inside and outside to check. I got panicked after about 90 seconds of frantic looking. Basement door- locked. Behind any doors- no. Under tables - no. In the bathroom or bathroom closet - no. In closets -no. Kitchen pantry - no. We were looking every place we could think of. Layla got panicked and cried out a little, "Mom I'm scared!" I held it together and told her we have to stay calm. I told her I was very scared, but we have to just keep looking. The kids looked and looked and looked.

I knew he was probably here somewhere. Child abductions are rare, even though they haunt us like they lurk in every corner of a neighborhood. I told myself he has to be here, but what am I missing. We have no water that would be a danger. The house is fairly safe if the basement door is locked. I tried to call Ricky at work and got his work voicemail. I sent him a cell phone text that said 9-1-1.

I went to the road again out of fear he was some place dangerous, I didn't know Charlotte was there looking already. I checked the back porch and back yard. He couldn't get to those places, but you still HAVE to check them. When I was checking the back porch I saw the side garage door was open. My eyes caught a  image of the open garage door and the sight swirled in my head, it almost made me dizzy. Black from the dark inside, against the white garage siding. I starred at it for a few seconds and thought to myself slowly: What. If. I. Never. See. Him. Ever. Again. What if this has happened to us...someone took him.

If he's not in the garage I'm calling 9-1-1, I decided. He wasn't in the garage. I was still clutching the phone and took a breath. I thought to myself that before I call 9-1-1 I have to make sure I checked every single place. Kids are not reliable searchers. I have to check upstairs, DUH! Charlotte only checked for a second when I called her down. I ran up the stairs and flew down the hallway. He was happily playing in his little sisters bedroom. He looked up at me with those blue eyes and I could barely catch my breath. I wanted to cry my eyes out but instead through tears I send my husband a text that everything was ok. Didn't want him leaving a meeting or freaking out upon seeing it. I yelled for the other kids that he was safe. When Charlotte hit the bedroom she landed on the floor scooped him up and we sat down with him and bawled. He toddled away from us smiling.

I had to spend what, 3-4 minutes with a lost baby? I'm not sure how long, but long enough to get my phone ready to call 9-1-1. I can not even imagine what I would have done if he had been taken or if he had been hurt or killed. I still hold him and think, "I almost never saw you again." That isn't true, I didn't almost never see him again. I did however know what it felt like to search my house for a lost baby. I just didn't have to actually live the part where he doesn't get found :(

If some one had accused me of murder or of being neglectful I would have ripped their tongue out. I have never been judgmental of a family who has lost a baby. It's just not fair. Pool accident, lawnmower accident, gun accident, bath tub accident, pulling a TV on themselves or a kidnapping. Those who judge others think it couldn't happen to them. What a foolish selfish thing to think. I even defend families whose babies die in hot cars. I don't understand it, I barely comprehend it. But to be vicious to others is just not right. I'm compassionate to others. I'd rather give someone a cautious benefit of the doubt than shun them in their hour of darkness and unthinkable pain.

I'm so, so sorry for baby loss. No matter how that loss occurs.