Monday, January 23, 2012

Public School Day 4, let's go

When I last wrote Layla had one of her classic meltdowns leaving her in a heap of anger and despair for seemingly no reason at all. She refused to attend her third day of school. I spent the morning trying to get her to go, she was really angry and wouldn't talk. Later she said it was triggered by her lunch. She gets like that about four times a week. You never know what will set her off, for how long, or what other anger helps it build up. The talk we had that morning I think helped her that day... eventually. This weekend when I thought about it I realized it's not as horrible as it could be. At least she rarely has back to back days when she's like that. The real challenge will be keeping her attendance up if she keeps going to public school for a substantial amount of time. I'm trying to explain to her she can't just stay home whenever she wants. It's not flexible like homeschool :(

We had a wonderful day Friday (after her bad mood went away) and I couldn't imagine her not being there for the school fun we at at home. It's really hard being open minded about her transition! I think she'll stay in public school for somewhere between 2 more days and 2 years. LOL. Like I've said previously, the ONLY way to approach Layla is one day at a time. 

The weekend was lovely. Layla was happy, kind, helpful and fun. Yesterday (Sunday) I took her to Target to buy some new school clothes and shoes. She has always had clothing problems so finding comfortable clothes and shoes is important to her well being. She's growing like a weed, when she started public school last week it was quickly evident she could use a few new things. We picked up lots of cute things and the first pair of tennis shoes she's had or liked in ages. That was such a relief because she hates nearly all shoes. We were alone --no baby even-- so we spent some nice time together and enjoyed an Icee and pretzel before we headed home. 

At home she tried on 15 combinations of outfit pieces in front of the mirror. It was darling. It feels so good to have clothes you like and that make you feel good!

She was all smiles and some seriousness this morning getting ready. I packed her bag up, didn't whisper a word about what was in her lunch and off she went. Watching her get on the bus is surreal. 

Her dad said, "Well now all we have to do is buy her new clothes every week and she'll go to school." haha. 

School at our house has been going really well. We have great momentum going. 

Everett is happily playing with a bird sound/identification handheld machine. He gets the biggest kick out of it. It's so cute. 

When I got home from the store with Layla he was chattering and squealing, MMMmmMAMAMAammmmamamamamaMAMA" It's SO freaking cute when they do that! I love being missed! 

Time to make the bed and grab some coffee and do school at our house.

I miss her... I love watching her get on and off the bus so confident and strong, but I miss her. I love to see her perfectly dressed and learning to tie her new shoes, but I miss her. I love to imagine she's enjoying school in a building with new people and new things to see, but I miss her. The other day I called her to the kitchen but she wasn't home... I miss her. 

UPDATE 10:20pm same day:
Layla's venture back at school went well. I felt bad she came home looking exhausted. I didn't expect her to want to go back when I saw the look on her face. It's a long day for her I'm sure. She's so used to drawing and playing for many hours of her day. She also wasn't very happy looking when she got home. I was worried at first. Once we gave her 10 minutes of space she started talking and settling in just fine. She brought home spelling words and sight words which she will be tested on this Thursday (no school this Friday). She played, had dinner and then got right to work.
Her dad and I quizzed her and helped her memorize some of her spelling and sight words. She is trying very hard. I'm stunned at what she's doing on her own --meaning how she is the one making the choice to go to public school. It's not like she's extremely social and loves being around people and school is a fantasy of hers. She's never mentioned going, she is quiet, she is an observer and she has never wanted to go anywhere without me (or another close family member). It's such a change! I'm amazed! But, she is an amazing girl.
I'm so tired...

Update: Layla's 5th day at school Jan 24, 2012

First homeschool outing without Layla today. Nothing big, but I still feel it.

She was happy this morning. It's STILL amazing seeing her get on the bus all by herself. Every morning I ask myself why she is doing this! lol. She's swimming with a big school of fish...and she doesn't say much but something has got to keep her going. I wonder if I'll ever know what it is.... :)

She is finally eating breakfast in the morning. She seems to be adapting to her new schedule. I enjoy getting up with her and just seeing her in the morning. Other kids are usually up too, but the focus is on her and we talk, get her stuff together, Etc. She is totally ready to go to bed each night at 8pm or so. Sometimes she says that it's time for bed all on her own.

Side note: Everett is making me crazy! And so is the barking dog. Everett was up late last night making me crazy. His sleep patterns have been off and crazy since we got back into town from Christmas. That trip ruined his schedule!

4 comments:

Meghan said...

that last little piece brought tears to my eyes. hugs to you, strong mama!

Mom of a bunch of great kids... said...

Thank you :) It's a very interesting journey that is for sure.

Kimberly said...

You are seriously one of the best moms in the whole wide world! Seriously. I admire you so much for who you are, and how wonderful you (and Ricky!) are at raising children, and being amazing human beings!

I can't wait for the next chapter in Layla's schooling!

Mom of a bunch of great kids... said...

Kim- THANK you. You are so sweet! You have seen so much of my life through journals and chats. You have seen my growth as a mom, person, and wife. I look up to you and thank you for your friendship and kind words. If you ever want to visit again I'd have you in a heartbeat! I miss you! Your kindless, friendship openmindedness, and love is a blessing to this world and many other people besides me! When I do a good deed I think of the kind things you have done for me, and the money you gifted me. Love you!

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