I'm pregnant, this winter is crazy and we had to stay in the hospital with Penelope

I think I handle stress well until I have a stressful situation turn me into a basket case with a raging headache! We were anticipating a nice calm winter but we were wrong. I guess it’s time we had an off winter after so many years of super easy illness.

It seems like every time I get caught back up and on track something just kicks us down again and so I just post a couple sick related updates instead. It's been really crazy. I haven't had the time to even post a I'M PREGNANT with baby #8 post!!!!! (We are so happy! We think baby is a girl, due in June) I'm also behind on emails and responses, and I haven't yet been able to finish posts I have written about: leaving facebook, Christmas, various kid things and now I need to update about our Penelope's illness and trip to the hospital. I have many things in my drafts folder, so one day there may be a whole storm of backdated posts. This ones backdated as well.

Our life is not that rough, we are extremely blessed and lucky and happy, but the winter has brought us non-stop challenges and every time we get past one I think ‘boy glad that’s over!’ and we get back on our routine and then BAM something else happens that sends us spiraling backward again. We are so "behind" with school and it's so frustrating because we are all trying so hard! Since November we’ve dealt with nothing truly horrible but just a whole bunch of stuff: morning sickness, teething baby, weaning baby, household flu, upper respiratory illnesses, bronchitis, two broken teeth (two different occasions!), even more teething baby, croup, hospital trip /possible serious illness in Penelope, AND even more coughing. Not to mention a VERY unruly, defiant four year old, and a two year old that does stuff like dumps pencil shavings in the toaster. (lol.) Because of Sebastian's violent and cranky behavior lately we took our large TV and video game set up down and put it in storage.

THE HOSPITAL TRIP...
I could write for days about our 10 hour ER and the subsequent 14 hour hospital room stay. We just got home yesterday and my head is still throbbing from the stress.

You probably think we spent 10 hours in the ER because it was super-crazy busy. Nope. We were sent over by our family doctor and seen in the ER within 20 minutes of arriving and had attention right away.

We were sent to Children's Hospital from our family practice office because our six year old daughter Penelope couldn't walk at all due to extreme pain in the pelvic area and groin. She cried out in pain even when we carried her from room to room in the house. She couldn’t even roll over in bed, and she had a fever too. Our Family Nurse Practitioner (FNP) mentioned toxic synovitis as a possibility but we needed to have it checked since her pain seemed so severe. We needed to rule out something more serious (like bacterial infection). After10 hours in the ER we were ultimately admitted overnight after blood work, urine test, one x-ray, two ultrasounds and one CAT scan.

The x-ray showed no fractures or injury. The ultrasounds showed no fluid around the hips ruling out bacterial hip infection and bacterial synovitis. They said her bowel looked slightly inflamed and she had "a lot of stool." They then pursued an appendicitis diagnosis against my insistence that her abdomen does not hurt her anywhere. She complained of her abdomen hurting ONLY during and after deep abdomen ultrasounds and palpation from at least 10 doctors in a row. She is sensitive and says just about everything hurts her; I know her abdomen was not an issue, she just didn't like having it touched. She was in so much pain as we moved her around that she was given a small amount of morphine. We allowed a CAT scan to rule out other abdominal issues anyway, including appendicitis, because we know how serious that could be and they would do a scan of her hips as well. We just knew something was going on in her pelvic/pubic region! Afterwards they didn't entirely rule out appendicitis but it didn't appear to be the issue. They started talking surgery on her bowel or appendix anyway. When I questioned them about possibly taking out a healthy appendix I was told, "Well, if there is one healthy organ you could have removed but not need it removed the appendix is the one you'd want it to be." I was so appalled!  Were they just suggesting that accidentally removing an organ would be okay as long as it was one that doesn’t seem to do anything much??? Who pays for that? What about poor Penelope and the risks of surgery? Furthermore, I do not believe the appendix or anything about the human body to be useless! See for yourself.

Then surgeons meet with us to poke her more and talk to us. I was still so afraid something serious might be wrong that I didn’t come unglued and irate, but I should have done this. This is one of the best hospitals in the nation, I trusted them way too much. Lesson learned. I should have never let my guard down.

She continued to hold her pubic bone and groin area in pain every time she coughed or moved and it went largely ignored. I constantly pulled up her hospital gown in front of doctors and over her underwear I pointed to her pubic bone and said, “It hurts her HERE THE MOST.” They said they had no idea what was wrong with her and because of her pain we should stay the night. We were told she was constipated because of the stool they saw on the CAT scan, which we felt was also wrong. She hadn’t been up and around much and she was in pain and frightened at the hospital. Pooping probably wasn’t on her body’s list of to-do items. Sheesh. 

I have an Orthopedic Surgeon family member who lives out of state and once he caught wind of what was going on he said Penelope's pain is exactly what he has been seeing a lot of this winter: Toxic Synovitis. He described that parents have been carrying their kids into his clinic because they cannot walk and they have had a flu or illness recently which is now accompanied by severe debilitating hip, groin and pelvic pain. Fluid does not have to be present and that's all the Dr's were looking for, but they were ignoring all of her other symptoms!

We were given a hospital room finally at 9:30pm and three more doctors (two actual doctors and one resident) examined her until 11pm. I finally kicked them out. They wanted to give her a nose swab test at 11pm while she lay exhausted and sleeping; as one Dr. continued to poke at her while she slept she moaned uncomfortably --I told him absolutely no more!!! Get out! Thank goodness I had just experienced a nose swab for the first time back in November with the flu or I wouldn’t have known what it was really. It’s totally deep, annoying and painful! Why would they not let a child rest after 12 hours of examinations and tests!?  I felt like if I let them do that to her I’d be completely betraying her. It was not needed at that moment and she was sleeping after hardly any sleep the night before. My poor baby girl. 

During the night at the hospital she made a lot of improvement and began rolling over in bed without pain! Further into the night she also sat up without pain, and finally she could walk to the bathroom! She still moved very slowly but it was finally without crying out in pain. She said she was just a little sore.

During the night when she woke up they gave her Miralax in a large cup of lemonade that she did not drink much of. She woke up later and made a bowel movement. She did NOT have a full "1x dosage" as it says on her paperwork and we do not think it helped her make a bowel movement. The next morning she made a bowel movement on her own without the aid of anything and then again on her own today.  Not constipated. 

I began to reflect more on what had happened to her (all the tests and them not listening to us) and looked further into her symptoms. Read about it here: http://4kidsortho.com/html/toxic_synovitis.html she had EVERY symptom EXACTLY described for Toxic Synovitis just like our family member orthopedic surgeon suggested.

In the morning I said I wanted her to be released and told them I thought she had Toxic Synovitis (viral). A doctor there agreed that it "could" be that... "Or constipation."

Children's Hospital sent us home (after sitting and waiting a full 5 hours for discharge papers) with the most disappointing care instructions:

 -Prescription of Miralax for constipation and instructions to give her Tylenol for fever.

-Follow up with our family doctor if needed.

-She can also go back to full activity/school.

I threw a hissy fit when leaving the hospital. I sorta-kinda yelled at the nurse’s station full of Dr’s and nurses. Oops. :P (don’t mess with Mama Bear!)

I asked our orthopedic surgeon family member what care instructions he gives a child for viral Toxic Synovitis and he said the following:
-Ibuprofen 3x a day for 5-7 days for inflammation and DO NOT miss a dose.
-No activity other than walking to and from bathroom and kitchen; lots of rest.
-NO RUNNING.
-No going to school for 5 days; too much activity there. (Not applicable to us but good to know.)
-If a fever over 102.6 for more than two days get her evaluated, it indicates the bacterial infection and she probably needs antibiotics.

We got home yesterday exhausted. Our house was tidy, new food was on the shelves, laundry was done and my Aunt, Grandma and children had worked hard at keeping everything nice and orderly. Thank God for awesome family and good kids. Sixteen year old Charlotte kept the laundry going nonstop (we were behind a few days –which is a lot when you have any kids let alone seven!) and she and the boys kept up all their chores up while we were away. What a relief after that horrible hospital trip and stress!

I was exhausted and wanted to stay home today but I still immediately called and had Penelope reexamined at our family practice this morning for a possible diagnosis of synovitits and to go over the disappointing ordeal resulting in hospital misdiagnosis and a very poor treatment plan for a still very sick little girl. Bless Charlotte, Sage and Ethan’s hearts for watching the kids again so I could take Penelope alone.  Sebastian and Everett can be such a handful right now but the big kids are so good about knowing we just need to get Penelope well! I love my family.

I reviewed all the information and hospital stay with our Family Practice Clinic Docs and they definitely agreed with me about the misdiagnosis and told not to give her the Miralax.  I was then asked if we received the chest x-ray they recommended to the hospital when they referred us over. We did not.  Apparently they have a concern about a sound in her right lung and are concerned about pneumonia. This is extra concerning to all of us today since Penelope’s cough gets a little worse every day and Penelope was discharged from the hospital with a fever.

So our treatment plan is now:

Synovitis:  Follow the same things my orthopedic surgeon family member suggests for his young patients with Toxic Synovitis. Watch for fever and to get Penelope an x-ray in 2 days if her cough is not improving, especially if it’s accompanied with high fever or if she just is generally unwell.

The family practice we go to is a holistic environment run by a medical doctor who has several RN’s & FNP’s staffed. They all have various extensive experience or degrees in homeopathy, naturopathic medicine, clinical nutrition, botanical medicine and more.  They listen to us, work with us, and we love them for it!

Penelope was prescribed two prescription homeopathic cough medicines and they really seem to be helping her coughing fits so far. I asked if other family members can use it and they can. Sebastian and Everett are both on it now too.  Lastly he told me to keep up with vitamin D drops and probiotics.

So, that is the long hospital ordeal. I have other things to write, so many thoughts and so many thanks I owe to family members. It needs its own post. Hopefully I can find the time. 

Lastly, we haven't even got the bill yet and I am gearing up to fight the hospital stay bill for misdiagnosis and sending us home with a sick child without a treatment plan.  If any Dr. thought it could be toxic synovitis we should have been given a treatment plan for that as well. Not just told she can go back to “full activity.” I already have an attorney. That’s how fast I roll! Don’t mess with Mama Bear, because this is what you'll get.

And now this is me with my baby girl cub over the past week. 

 And now hopefully I can get a break (haha) and some happy more frequent updates will come! Because "WE" as a family are fantastic. We are in love with our baby due in June (the kids are so excited) and after all this stress and craziness we just keep pulling ourselves up and getting reorganized!

SICK AGAIN: You've got to be kidding me!?

Life was getting back to normal. We got over the flu and in two short weeks we celebrated Sage's 13th birthday, we went ice skating, we saw Santa, I got all the laundry caught up again, I was feeling 100% better, I cleaned and de-cluttered like crazy; I even dusted the ceiling fans. We decorated inside and out and baked tons of cookies, we made Christmas cookie care packages for all service people/ mail carrier who stopped by, we happily made crafts, Smith-wick (our elf) brought great joy and fun. Sugarplums danced in our heads for the better half of December. I spent loads of time doing other things with the kids too, like making Santa faces from paper plates and cotton balls, watching Christmas movies, hanging red and green paper chains all over the house, playing and reading. We made delicious homemade pretzels and everyone settled in and enjoyed the time together (and being well again). On the Winter Solstice we decorated a tree outside with apple rings, birdseed pine cones and circle pretzels as offerings for the "snow angels" just like in Little Bear, and we sang.

Things were indeed TONS better. The kids were weaned of the TV after being sick and overloading on it, the house looked great, we were happily awaiting Christmas Eve. Then I noticed sniffles and sneezes starting up in the kids. I soon woke up with a sore throat, it appeared we were getting a cold. Just a day before Christmas Eve a few younger kids had fevers. I was nervous but super hopeful and sure it would be no big deal... Christmas Eve came and we watched my favorite comedy Christmas movie that we all totally enjoy and laugh wildly at, Jingle All The Way. Christmas morning came early (5:30am) and we had a lot of fun and family time full of joy. Sebastian enjoyed his toys for a few hours and then laid down on the couch with a warm rosy face; the poor little guy burned up from there on and didn't get up the rest of the day except for us to give him drinks. Ricky felt under the weather by 11am and took a nap until 1:30. Aunt Sharon and Grandma visited and overall we had a nice time and pretty Christmas dinner. By the time they left Charlotte was in bed sick and other kids seemed feverish, too.

For the following seven days after Christmas I walked around the house getting lethargic laid up kids orange juice, water, hot tea, cold rags, medicine, tissues and small meals while repeating to myself "I just CAN NOT freaking believe this. THIS IS SO NOT FAIR." Ricky recovered quickly and was able to help me thank goodness ( just as I got sicker). It was/is an upper respiratory virus and some of us now appear to have bronchitis. It's not nearly as bad as the flu but it still took its toll on all of us. With the flu it was just misery, with this "cold" at least Ricky and I got to spend time together snuggling and watch TV (although interrupted often by kids needing us). So now we're back to square one, recovering as I pick up the pieces of a messy house and getting caught up on laundry. I so did not expect this! We've never all been sick with a flu or cold ALL at the exact time and here it happened back to back in the same month and with a vengeance!! I can't fathom it still, even though I lived it! I'm thankful we are up healing up faster this time and even us bronchitis stricken people actually seem to be fairing okay. In hindsight we are awesome and we are troopers and we overcame all of this: but man did it suck. (Still sucks since we really aren't over it yet.) New Years Eve is upon us and no one feels like eating much, nothing sounds good at all and as a result we have no party food or drinks or noise makers. Bah! Humbug! :) In reality though my head is full of snot and I'm coughing like crazy so I don't care. I've been holding Everett all day because he's still not feeling well. I wanted SO bad to be all better this morning that I thought I was... I was so determined. I started trying to do my normal Monday routine: stripping the bed for washing, making the bed, cleaning my room, starting the laundry, making breakfast... I made it as far as taking the pillow cases off our pillows, making hot tea and starting one load of laundry before I was EXHAUSTED and holding a fussy baby on the bed as we both dozed off restlessly.

I can not wait to be normal again!! I have things to do and kids to enjoy and decorations to put away and a house to clean... we have loads of school we have to catch up on and I have so much hope that this was the last of illness we need to have for a long time! I hope the winter goes by as fast as it came and with lots of: trips to the Magic House, school/art projects, more pretzel making, good conversations, family games, hot cocoa, winter hobbies, a few home projects... and a snowman or two!

Kid Break ~~Relaxing

Aunt Sharon hasn't seen the kids very much lately and wanted to give us a much needed break after being sick so she picked up the kids Saturday for a sleepover. They all go now, even little Everett! It's SO cute watching him go. This is his second sleepover. The first time I was thinking about him nonstop and missing him a ton! This time I was really mellow probably because I needed the break, but probably because the weaning is in full swing so it makes it easier knowing he's not really expecting me to nurse him. It's so cute when he's in the car with the other kids waving goodbye to me and giving me a kiss. His cute little two year old voice and chubby hand waving. Oh the cute. The little kids are all really cute when they go. I'm always surprised how much they wave and kiss me and say goodbye. At times we can get so burnt out, so tired, so sick of each other, but when we part for a day or two there is such a sense of love and appreciation. After they left I excitedly told Ricky, "They love me, they really showed me that they love me with their kisses and goodbyes." :) Sometimes being a mom is a thankless job, and sometimes it's totally not. :)

Ricky and I relaxed and just enjoyed the quiet house for a while. I thought about doing some housework without being disrupted but then thought nahhh. We went out to dinner in the evening and then walked around the mall for about 20 minutes and bought a new personalized family Christmas ornament. Malls aren't our scene at all, but once in a great while we'll stop by one for some reason or another. We watched tv briefly at home before turning into bed. We slept in this morning until 9:30; waking up to a super quiet house and warm snugging bodies was so nice. Since I was sick for so long and unable to breathe well or be close to Ricky we are extra-enjoying being close again. Our furnace went out last night so we were under three heavy blankets and stayed nice and warm and cozy. Ricky looked at the furnace this morning while I whipped us up an elegant breakfast for two. It was fancy and super-fantastically delicious! Chocolate covered strawberries, blackberries, hot cinnamon rolls, egg and ham croissant sandwich and a side dish of organic vanilla-banana yogurt! Romantic breakfast for two in heaven!

Unfortunately the furnace issue is not resolved. I think I want a post breakfast chocolate-strawberry snack before we re-read the manual and decide if we need to call a real repair person. A couple years ago we ordered a part and made a repair on it ourselves, but we can not for life of us remember what we did! I think we are also off to buy another space heater or two...so far it looks like it's going to be a cold night or few days...

Update: We have finally located the igniter and somewhat remember replacing it before. We checked and it's not lighting, so we have all the info about it and luckily remembered where we took it for replacement part (not a regular home store an actual manufacturer supply place). Tomorrow I will hopefully be able to pick it up at the same place without a wait! For now we will sleep and heat two rooms like people did in the old days of winter! (Except we are using handy electric heaters instead of wood heaters. :) Tonight's low is the coldest of this season, 20 degrees! Burr!

Sick, The Quest for Some Family Time, Weaning Toddlers

I was sick forever. Ok, it was only a week, or nine days...give or take...but it was awful! Layla brought us influenza B home for Thanksgiving, so over the Thanksgiving holiday people started falling ill. The kids were pretty easy and straight forward; fevers, tired, achy...then I got it. I was the sickest of all. It was totally pitiful how sick I got. I slept for six hours a day, the kids watched six hours of TV a day. It was misery. Everyone got over it slowly, but I got over it even slower. I'm still totally recuperating but I'm much better now. I have some cold like symptoms and until last night I hadn't slept an entire night in two weeks. Usually we have our tree up by or on Thanksgiving, we finally got it up yesterday. We have been doing Christmas crafts and finally getting more into the holiday! Funny because we had actually started early last month, we had Christmas music playing as usual in November, but then everything got put on hold.

CRANKY MOM, FAMILY TIME

I feel really bad I've been SO bitchy to the kids. I really do. I've been: tired, cranky, demanding, impatient. It happens from time to time, but being sick has just made me even more miserable I'm sure. I wish I had the grace of Michelle Duggar. I would love that. I would love to treat my little people with more respect sometimes; I would never nag at my husband the way I nag at them. It's a reoccurring theme, and I need to re-read this post and I'll feel better and try harder and start over from a place of more patience. I'm always working at being a better calmer mother-person. Things have been very stressful lately, I need to remember that first. Second: things will get better. For months and MONTHS Ricky's been working a lot, which is totally understandable and needed right now, but it has made things more stressful. We are both tired, stressed and busy and while that doesn't reflect on our relationship with each other it does on the kids. I'm more stressed, he's not seeing them as much or playing with them as much. It's just hard. A lot of nights we just rush around trying to get them in bed so we can talk for 30 minutes and then either collapse on the couch together or in bed. I'm in bed a lot since I'm so sick. We recently have been trying to watch more TV in the evening with the kids. It's hard because there is not much we can watch together as a family since our society thinks family TV has to include non stop adult themes, teen dating and/or crude humor filled with stereotypes. But, we've found a few shows we like and with holiday movies and shows being in season it's much easier right now too. At least if we are tired we can still sit around together and be in each others company instead of rushing everyone off to separate rooms for quiet time or whatever. This craziness is just a phase though: things get better and worse, rinse and repeat, it's called life! I'm looking forward to us feeling better and playing more family games in the evenings again.

WEANING THE TODDLER (otherwise known as the baby)

Before any of the sickness started, right about the time Ricky started working a lot more hours on some special projects, Everett started getting really cranky and going through a "stage." It was what we called 'a REALLY HARD time that would pass.' That has now been compounded with weaning him. So he is EXTRA cranky and needy now, but things are improving with him! He is starting to understand more and the slow almost-child-led but mostly mama-led weaning is going well. It's so very hard for a child to make that transition. Weaning is forever, it's a huge milestone as well as a huge new development into being his own person. In addition we both have to learn an entirely new toolbox of mothering and soothing skills. It's not just about him not nursing anymore: it's him not getting extra calories, him no longer getting my antibodies that help him during colds and flu, him needing something new to do instead of nursing for a big owey or emotional breakdown, him needing a new way to fall back asleep at night, him needing a new coping strategy for teething, him needing to find something to do when he is bored...and the big one me and him HAVING to find away to get him to sleep for bedtime and naps to begin with. His life is changing big time; eventually he won't remember it, but it will be forever a part of him. Even though I'm SO, so ready for him to wean, it's still bittersweet. He's still my baby, he'll always be. We have some tears at night and nap time when I just *won't* nurse or when I nurse him and then tell him 'all done now.' (Because physically it's just NOT working for me, not because I'm trying to withhold from him through will-power, I'm actually at that point where it's just not working out and milk is drying up.) As we lie together and I try to soothe him it's getting easier every few days. He's getting older and more understanding (or at least accepting). He's doing great. Today he found ice cream cones in the cupboard and wanted ice cream. We are all out of ice cream. A couple months ago he would have cried and cried because emotionally he wouldn't have been able to accept not having ice cream in the house while having the cones in his hand. Today he got over it after looking in the freezer and accepted it for a simple reality. Growing up is AMAZING. Lots to learn about cause and effect and acceptance...

I Am Thankful

The younger kids are in the middle of many fevers and lethargy but still enjoyed a family day of snuggling, watching the parade, feasting, being thankful, and playing games. One thing I was thankful for yesterday is that even when we have to cancel our Thanksgiving guests from coming over, to not to spread illness to others, we still have a full house.

Also, I’m thankful everyone felt much better yesterday (on Thanksgiving) than today. Today we have some serious kids down! Sebastian is sleeping like a log. Penelope is pitifully watching TV and Everett is restless on my lap cat napping. I'm glad we got to enjoy Thanksgiving yesterday. I’m also thankful for a sweet husband who heard kids crying last night and got up to say he’d stay up with me. I don’t need him to, I don’t expect him to (I can try to nap during the day -he has to be at work and can't nap or sit on the couch watching cartoons like I can), but it’s sweet and thoughtful and generous that he is sympathetic and wanting to help. I'm ever thankful for him.

It’s been pretty intense the last two nights with Everett. When I get one kid asleep another wakes up. everyone is easy to get back to sleep except Everett. Then if I do get him to sleep a dog starts barking and I have to fly out of bed to quiet him --and it happens ALWAYS just as I start falling asleep. The worst part though is that Everett has either flat out refused to sleep or he is too restless to get comfortable. He's not congested or anything so that's not the problem, he's just not feeling well. Even if I suppress his fever he still doesn't sleep any better.

Even though I'm tired, at the core of it I really enjoy taking care of the kids when they are sick -even though seeing them sick is not fun at all and I'd rather them be well! I'm still thankful though... it's tiring and hard work, but I'm thankful I can stay home with them. I'm thankful we are healthy and get over things easily. I'm thankful I studied a bunch about natural health 16 years go and still use what I learned. I’m dearly, dearly thankful we hardly ever need to see a Dr. (only 2 kids ever have needed to). I’m thankful that I don’t take things like health and family for granted. 

This is the last thing I got to see before going to bed last night. ♥ I was putting sick little kids to be while others were doing this.

These are some conversations/moments from November that I am thankful I wrote down and saved so I don't forget:

It is SO SWEET listening to babies talk. Everett talks so much to all of us now. I just told Penelope to put a coat on if she's going outside and Everett points to the heavy sweatshirt I just put on him and says to me, "Doh-knee-co." (Don't need coat.) Such sweetness, so adorable. He talks all the time now.

~~~~~
Sebastian ate all the soft mints I bought.
Penelope reminded me, "I told you yesterday Sebastian was eating them under the table!"
I asked, "Why Sebastian, WHY AND HOW could you eat all the mints!?!"
Sebastian's reply, "I don't know. I have problems."

~~~~~

Sebastian: Everett do you want to play castle toys with me?
Everett: "Auhh" (means yes)
Sebastian really sweet voice wrapping his arm around Everett as they walk away: "Ok, I promise I'll let you play this time."

This month has also been a bit overshadowed by grief, not mine but of other peoples. I've thought non-stop and helplessly watched on as a friend of a friend lost her two year baby to a terrible accident and as one of my friends watches her husband lose to cancer. Do I become thankful I'm not having that first person heartache? That I only get to grieve for a moment and then am recused from pain because my husband comes home healthy every night and my kids are safely tucked between the walls of our warm home? No, not exactly. What I'm thankful for is empathy, which hurts and sometimes keeps me up at night, but also keeps me grounded and unselfish. I'm also thankful I recognize the strength others have and that I try to learn from people who have no other choice but to be strong, because no one is immune to pain or loss. It finds us all someday in someway. I pray for peace and love in the hearts of those that grieve this holiday season. I hate sadness. 

Clean Houses, Bathroom Mishaps, Moms Need to Eat

So I had an awesomely-horrible mishap today. I was gone for a few hours to take Sebastian to the dentist. When I left I told the kids what snacks they could have while I was gone, one being string cheese. Everett (2) cries if he doesn’t get string cheese even though he only takes one bite of it and then sets it down.  When I get home I rush into the bathroom from being gone all morning and as I’m washing my hands I notice string cheese on the counter, one bite taken out.  I instantly know Everett left it there, probably sat it down to use the bathroom and forgot about it. As I take a bite and swallow Charlotte knocks on the door, “Mom I have something to tell you.” I jokingly say, “Is it that I’m eating your cheese stick?”  She exclaims, “Mom are you eating that…? Mom, DON’T EAT THE CHEESE STICK THAT’S IN THERE!" I open the door laughing knowing I'm in trouble. "Oh God did it fall in the toilet?" “No, but Everett peed on it, I forgot to throw it away.” I see the humor, I see how gross and unclassy I am for eating off the bathroom counter. I somewhat deserved what I got. I threw it away and had a drink of water. Never a dull moment.

Now in case you don’t know, moms eat leftovers from their kids all of the time. It’s a thing we do. If we didn’t do this we’d waste 50% of the food we bought at the store. Sometimes we do it out of convenience, other times out of pure hunger, other times to prevent waste (I do it for all three reasons). This is not the first time it’s backfired either. Sometimes you discover that you bite into their half-eaten hairy apple, or drink orange juice with pancake at the bottom. Sometimes you think you’ll finish someone’s cereal and find hidden eggs in it.  It’s a dangerous job, but moms get hungry.  

Tonight I was cleaning up for the billionth time this week and remembered that I loved it when a few weeks ago Charotte (16) said, “I see household tips online for cleaning and organizing and big families... sometimes I read through them and think geez we do all these, or have done them at some point, already.” It cracked me up. It’s true though; I’ve tried and do all kinds of things to make life easier and just making running a large household easier. Sometimes you’ve exhausted all the tricks of the trade and the only thing that helps is good old fashioned hard work and the desire not to live in utter chaos.

I was cleaning the bathroom for the third time in a week (toilet, sink and floor…yes 3 times a WEEK) and thought about that cute sign/door mat that says ‘My house was clean last week, sorry you missed it’

I need one that says ‘My house was clean yesterday, sorry you missed it.' When you have nine people living under one roof, I kid you not, that’s how fast things change around here. 

We forgot our anniversary. But it doesn't really matter.

Even though we have a kid-free night planned this Saturday with the intent of going out to a nice belated anniversary dinner we hadn't thought about it in weeks. It just hasn't been on our minds, living day to day seems to be our focus lately. It's really that bad. I'm tired and busy, he's tired and busy at work, the little kids-are complete handfuls. Life is just really trying this fall, and that's okay -it happens. We'll get through it. I only found out it was our anniversary because I checked my email between cooking oatmeal, chasing after crazy kids and sending Layla off to school this morning. In my email I saw a note; Ricky's mom wished us a happy anniversary. I thought it was sweet and how many days...early? Or a week? Wait, WHAT DAY IS IT?

 I looked at the computer screen date and it was like a dream. 10/16/12

It's our anniversary. I called Ricky to share the news.

Did I feel like our life is too busy, too hurried, too kid focused to remember our anniversary? No.
I smiled and laughed. We had spent extra time snuggling in bed this morning, we even locked the door. We are good about that... making time for each other. That's why it doesn't really matter that we had a near miss with the day we vowed to love each other 'without end.' We really love holidays, traditions and special days, but we do make time for each other every day regardless of what day it is.

In and out of: crazy days, long work days, teething babies, fighting kids, too many chores and nearly too many kids...we don't take each other for granted. Soft loving eyes, loving kisses, gratitude for this love and life, looking in the same direction, compromise, holding hands when we fall asleep... that's the foundation for our marriage. It all started from just two people who wanted to build a family together. When we met we were both fumbling around alone in a world where it seemed no one valued love, commitment or family anymore. What an enormous blessing our marriage is, a day doesn't go by without us thinking so. We just want to take care of each other, and we do.

Not our actual wedding ... I brought my wedding dress on vacation for professional beach wedding pictures just because I wanted some! Ricky had no idea I was planning it or that I had packed my dress. I told him to be on the beach at 6am, and I came out in my dress. haha :)