Wiener cancer is usually no laughing matter...but this day it was

One day while I was pumping gas the 11 year old boys were in the car talking about "wiener cancer" and if there is even such a thing. Sage says that you can have cancer anywhere because you have cells everywhere. So while they are discussing it Ricky overheard and goes around the car to where I am and tells me. I crack the car door and start listening to them, they are aware I'm listening as I hear them settle on the fact that they are in agreement: weiners can get cancer. After a few seconds I abruptly leave to run inside the gas station store for something. When I jump back into the car I matter-of-factly say, "Hey boys, there is such a thing and it's called penile cancer." Caught off guard they say. "What?" I repeat myself, "Wiener cancer... it's such a thing, it's called penile cancer." Sage's eyes opened wide and with a goofy grin he exclaimed in disbelief, "You ASKED THE GAS STATION people?"

Ricky and I almost couldn't stop laughing.

New Moon Magazine for girls ...homebirth!

Yesterday afternoon Charlotte headed to her room to gobble up the latest issue of New Moon Magazine. New moon is a magazine for girls that is safe, educational and ad free. It's content is always carefully chosen to build self esteem and positive body image. After a bit Charlotte ran downstairs hollering, "Mom! Mom, look!" She flung open the pages and shoved in my face an article about a homebirth family and their experience with the close family bond of birth at home. She was so excited. I'm such a proud mama to that young lady that she understands the impact that article has on our society. The challenge to normalize birth in a culture of birth fear does not go unrecognized by her and that makes me proud. As New Moon strives to never exclude anyone they included a side bar explaining that hospital birth is a choice many families make and that is ok, homebirth is just a different option. Bravo to New Moon for being an amazing influence on girls and for treating birth as a normal family experience.

Sexy pushed on kids... and remembering why I give my kids toy weapons

I wasn't very happy when my little girls were picking out a generic Barbie from the dollar store… one clearly lacked appropriate clothing. I was pretty shocked at the doll staring back at me and wondered how anyone thought this was ok. Layla laughed and said something was wrong with her clothes. Penelope (4) happily exclaimed, "Mom, look! It’s nursing Barbie with a nursing shirt for nursing babies."

This made me smile.

Perspective is everything. I'm glad I didn't say anything ---and I generally don't because I do not like to point out what I deem is wrong to an impressionable child unless I’m sure something needs to be corrected or taught. Six and four are not ages that I worry about my girls getting the wrong message because they are given the right message everyday all day at home. To make a big deal out of something is usually the worst thing to do. In this situation Penelope showed a gleaming example that sometimes it's what you are raised around that really makes the biggest impression on the mind.

This actually reminded me of a great article called "Bang! Bang! You're Dead!" Like a lot of parents I once struggled with the rough play that accompanies swords and guns ...and boys. I was one of those parents who thought it was too violent. For a time was constantly concerned about the gun play with my first two boys. I thought I could curb the behavior at a young age, switch their interests to more peaceful themed play. I took weapons away, or wouldn’t buy them; to my dismay they made them out of things anyway: sticks, carrots, pencils, Legos, a finger…all can be used as weapons of mass destruction to the right imagination.

I complained that it's not good to shoot people or stab people. I dramatically worried for their future. Thinking back now it's laughable. A funny thing happened when Penelope was two and a half. She was playing guns with her brothers and as she was saying, “BANG, BANG!” I said in a tender voice, “Penelope I don’t really like that kind of play because guns can hurt people.” Penelope looked up at me with her deep blue eyes, blinked and replied, “Silly mom, this is a p'tend gun, not a real gun!” I laughed gingerly and agreed that was silly of me. I couldn’t cope with the difference between real and fake? But my bright, happy girly-girl of a daughter could? This gave me some food for thought.

What I realized many years ago was that *I* was putting my fears and knowledge of the big scary world on my very young children. It wasn't right and it wasn't fair. Not only was I smothering their natural instincts of play I was also shaming them. I was often times accidentally making my boys feel bad or awkward for wanting to play with things that is very much part of who boys are. Stereotype it all you want –and my girls do like weapon play too- but it's nothing like my boys.

Good guy vs. bad guy is as old as time and I soon realized I was taking all the fun away...and learning. Now you’ll hear me saying things like: "When you’re done playing put your weapons in the weapon box!" "Don’t leave your wood swords in the rain." “Please let your little brother play with that sword.” “Where is the gun Sebastian likes?”

We have two weapon toy boxes, one upstairs and one on the back porch. My girls and boys have lots of fun and their dad joins in too: potato guns, marshmallow guns, squirt guns, Nerf guns, swords, sticks, daggers, plastic grenades. I enjoy seeing my kids being kids.

From the link I shared above:
There is a gap between how adults see weapons play and how children experience it. As one psychiatrist put it, "We are so afraid of aggression in this society that we haven't been able to talk intelligently about it." While adults disapprove, children are often doing the child's work of play: experimenting with power and excitement, action and reaction, in a safe, make-believe world.

While I have no interest in changing my mindset about our ‘too sexy too soon’ society when it comes to young impressionable girls (and boys!) the situation at hand with the dolls breasts exposed was a cute and memorable reminder that how I see things vs. how my child experiences them just might be two very different things.

recap of things that make me happy

This morning we had a very productive homeschool morning and now we've just returned from dropping Charlotte (14) off at a teen leadership program. It's a overnight youth group training that is full of fun but also serves as a training program for the teens to help lead this summers vacation bible camp (which our boys are signed up for). I was SO impressed when dropping her off. The people were just great. The teens were very enthusiastic and polite. I felt really comfortable leaving her! The pastor speaking was really being fun with the kids and had a look about him that you could tell how much he enjoys what he does. Loved the vibe. I'm really excited for her! This will be our first year participating in a church summer (day) camp.


Last week I had a wonderful time doing yard work and mowing with my grandma. I love when she comes over to visit. It's always fun and productive since Grandma doesn't sit still for a second! I get my love for working outdoors from her. What a great inheritance. Aunt Sharon came over too to play with the kids and brought us two casseroles for dinners. My grandma and I enjoyed watering my plants, weeding, and cleaning up outside. I adore family time. The kids and I are doing more yard work today and I'm going to try and get the belt on my tiller back on. I 'd like to plant some sunflowers this year (I always plant sunflowers!) Overall I'm not planting many veggies. I figured this year I should care and tend for all the thins we've planted over the last few years. It's fun to see how many berries we have growing (raspberries/blackberries). We've been busy this spring making lots of mulch for the everything with yard clippings and tons of chicken manure mixed with old straw. Everything is looking nice. The freshly mowed yard makes me feel so refreshed. What a beautiful place we have. I thank my husband all the time for our beautiful home. I'm really quite charmed by where we live.

I finally feel like life is back to "normal" in regards to our household flow and rhythm. For a long while I was trying to get back to that feeling of normalcy and routine and finally we have it back. It always comes back --it just takes me a long time! We've dealt with lots of bills lately and crazy kids. But it all passes. Sebastian has been a handful but seems to be settling down. We finally have the evenings down to a science which makes life SO much easier.

Generally we do this : 5:30pm dinner, 6pm clean up, 6:30pm story and/or craft and game time, 7-ish bath and snack if needed, 8pm brush teeth and closing conversations, 8:30pm get in bed, 8:45 shhhh kids if they are still awake. 9pm free time for mom and dad!

During the week we don't generally eat dinner with dad so he eats late. We found it was MUCH less crazy and way more relaxing to have the kids fed and dinner and dishes 100% cleaned up by the time he gets home from work -he often gets home at 6:30 or 7. He then eats with me or while we visit/play games with the kids and there are no clean up woes. Actually now that I think of it I think we eat early mainly because it takes so long to clean up.

In the last 10 days I've taken 7 children to the children's museum, science center and the zoo. I couldn't fathom doing all that in a row the last few months but I feel more energized lately! Just leaving the house doesn't feel like a chore anymore. It could be the new thyroid medicine I'm on... we recently discovered I have an under active thyroid. I found a holistic Dr. I really like and the whole family is going to start going there for yearly visits. I was the first guinea pig. lol. Some women have thyroid issues post postpartum so I wonder if that's why it tends to take me a while to get back into the swing of things after having a baby. Often times after I have a baby I feel like I don't care if I ever leave the house again LOL. At least I'm content at home! That isn't so great for the kids here that do like to leave so it's been a struggle making it to library and playgroup the last few months. I knew it would pass though, it always does.

Things have been busy but positively wonderful overall. My husband and I are so very happy. :)

I had a huge surprise a couple days ago when my sister Heather drove 4 1/2 hours out of her way to come see me and the fam --and meet Everett for the first time! She just showed up on my back door! It was amazing! I was making 2 roasted chickens, mashed taters and gravy, veggies, rolls and a chocolate cake for dinner that night! How perfect is that!? Her Birthday was in a few days so we sang to her and lit 2 candles for her 20th birthday. :)

She could only stay about 10 hours and that included sleep time! She's crazy! And wonderful! How much she must love me to make that trip. She is going to Africa for three weeks this summer and I'm very thankful I got to hug her before she left!

Last weekend was our yearly trip to the Renaissance faire in Wentzville. Ricky and I got horribly lost on the way --you'd think the third year in a row of a family tradition we would not get lost. We felt kinda dumb but oh well. We were stressed and frustrated but laughing at the absurdity of it all. We got wrong directions from 3 different people along the route we thought we were suppose to take! LOL! To top it off it was blistering hot and humid. It was pretty much agony but the kids always love it and we enjoy taking them.

After we got home we were utterly exhausted but after we settled in, fed the kids and turned on a move for them Charlotte babysat for us and Ricky and I snuck off to a Mexican Restaurant we hadn't tried yet. It was sooooooo good and we got to enjoy loud music on the patio and drink huge margaritas. We ordered these ice cold frozen margaritas that were supposed to be medium sized... they were HUGE! We ate amazing food and watched Everett play and people gawk at how cute he was being. When we were finished eating and talking we were STILL sucking on our drinks AND we were getting tipsy. LOL. We finished our drinks and walked around some stores and giggled until we were comfortable driving. It was a lot of fun. Everett was in his Ergo carrier singing, "Blah blah ha bababablahhhahahabah" most of the time. He is so cute and talkative! I want to go back to that restaurant NOW...the food WAS SO GOOD.

Mother's Day

The baby was fussy all weekend but it didn't keep us from having a wonderful time. Since pictures are worth a thousand words I took tons. Click photo to go to album.

The Day Mrs. Cooley Lost Her Cool

I'm still processing something that happened today. This is me processing thoughts as I type.

Today was a beautiful day at the park. I spent four hours with my seven children having a tea party, feeding ducks, shooting off stomp rockets, hunting for robins with Sebastian(2) and playing on the playground. It ended on a really sad angry note for me though. My children won’t soon forget what they saw either. They have a raw (and not totally accurate) view at what public school could be like. Of course there are many wonderful teachers in the system and maybe this teacher is a good one just caught at a bad moment but what happened was completely inexcusable.


Hoards of kids invaded the playground for a field trip like field day looking event. I say invaded, but they were there before we got there. It was obvious they walked there and that there was many, many classrooms there. The supervision was seriously lacking and kids were going crazy. They were kicking soccer balls into the playground area, up the slides, over our heads. I was really worried about the safety of my kids so we had to hang out in a grassy area. (After Penelope (4) almost took a soccer ball to the face.) We took it in good stride; these kids should be able to have a good time and have a happy end of the school year day.

After a while teacher whistles started blowing and teachers started packing up ice coolers and gathering up trash. Soon we’d have the playground to ourselves! Teachers lined up their children and they started walking away. After about twenty minutes just one class remained. As that class was walking away I heard the teacher tell her class that was a fun day. As they got further I quit observing and started talking to my baby, Everett. I noticed a child run by me to catch up with his class. It appeared he wasn’t paying attention or something. Suddenly I was jolted by the sound of an adult yelling, “ARE YOU CRAZY? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?” over and over. It was a cross between a yell and a scream. The kind of yelling that is completely angry and out of control sounding. My kids and I watched as the school teacher belittled, screamed and got into the face of one of the school children. She walked in a circle around him yelling and screaming at him. I was so confused. My mouth dropped open as I tried to comprehend what was going on. My body was rigid and I looked at my children in disbelief. When I looked at my children I saw what I had expected to see… their innocent faces watching what was happening. I was still speechless. It was like everything was in slow motion and the teacher then waved a stick at the boy asking him if he’d like it if she hit him. She was in his face. She was screaming. She was threatening him and I thought she was going to hit him. Finally I said, “How can you scream at your children? How can you do this? STOP YELLING AT A CHILD! Look at you!” She then turned to me in rage and screamed and asked if I had seen what he did. I had not. She yelled at me in horror, “He was hitting a duck with a stick! YOU DID NOT SEE IT! He was hitting it!!!” I thought to myself that is really bad but the words that came out of me were, “You cannot teach children like that. You cannot scream at them. You just CAN’T. ” I was shaking with anger as I tried to imagine a boy, about 9 or 10, hitting a duck with a stick. As she walked away with her class my boys told me most the boys in her class were throwing things –balls, sticks, rocks- at the ducks. My boys said they had told them to stop it earlier. My boys said the one boy in particular who was being screamed at was throwing sticks at the duck as the class was leaving. He had a big stick/branch. He was hitting at the duck. He was not beating it like it was cornered as the lady made it sound; and even if he was… You cannot scream at a child like that. You should never, ever be allowed to be in charge of a room full of children with a temper like that. I’ve snapped at my kids, I’ve yelled, I’ve been out of line, I’ve been very sorry to them for it --but they are my kids. I can yell at them. I shouldn’t -and as a general rule I don’t. However I would NEVER EVER expect a teacher to behave that way. A teacher is a person of power and a person who chose a career of teaching children. That person is supposed to teach and portray a certain character and image to children. A teacher sees those children more waking hours than their own parents do. It always irks me when teachers say their responsibilities end with teaching. Like when a teacher mentions they aren’t babysitters. Our public school teachers actually play a very big role in children’s lives. Teachers do help raise our public schooled youth.

Today a whole classroom learned its ok to freak out and scream when confronted with a situation. That it’s ok to belittle and threaten someone, wave a stick in a violent manner and scream at him, “How about I hit you with a stick.”

I’m so ashamed of what I saw. My children are shocked and Charlotte was so taken back she said she wondered if we should call the police.

I know this child should know better, he is WAY old enough to know better. A teacher should know better too. Teachers and all adults should know at least a tiny bit about the psychology and brain function of children. How cause and effect, reaction time and consequence isn’t fully developed until after twenty years old! I’m not even saying she shouldn’t have yelled. I am saying she should not have exploded into an angry rage and threatened him. Period.

A strange thing happened when she left. Her class stopped down the sidewalk about 300 feet from us. I figured she was talking to her students or gathering herself. I was talking to my kids. Four of her students suddenly appeared in front of me and said, “We are supposed to give this to you.” On a piece of brown paper sack was the teacher’s name, school, principal's name and a phone number.

That is quite interesting of you to do that Mrs. Cooley. I haven’t decided why you gave that to me or what I even want to do with it yet. I just wish none of that would have happened today. I play over what happened a million times. Maybe I should have stepped in and calmly asked you to calm down and offered you help dealing with the situation. Maybe I should have grabbed my camera and videoed the whole thing and stuck it on you tube. Maybe I should mind my own business; those kids in all those classes were driving me nuts too. Maybe I should learn to keep my mouth shut and mind closed. Maybe I should go to the superintendent because the principal does not seem high enough. Maybe I could ruin your life. Maybe you are soaking in a bubble bath right now wishing you had not lost your cool and you are now crazy stressed out. Maybe you are sorry. Maybe you are still mad. Maybe that little boy learned a lesson, or maybe not. I’m glad I spoke up for him though. At the end of it all he is still a child that needs guidance and quality discipline instead of hatred --whether he meant to hurt an animal or not.

Penelope's First Ant Farm

Yesterday Penelope's ants came for her farm. Today she says, "Mommy, what kind are those ants that are all curled up?" I reply, "Those are sleeper ants." Charlotte is still laughing at my fast reply. Penelope skipped off happily repeating, "Yeah dem are sleeper ants!"

Being a kid is great fun.


Don't dare tell her they are dead. I heard the boys do it yesterday and she was MAD at them. LOL. It's not been a healthy farm so far. We lost a lot of good soldiers already. I'm sure it didn't help that Sebastian(2) threw the ant farm across the room as he said they were mean. Penelope bawled her head off. He apologized. Some ants may not have forgiven him (like the dead ones) but she did.