April 2017

April showers bring May flowers! The grass gets green, the birds get busy building nests, bees visit patches of dandelions and clover, and bright tulips push up toward the sun.... Andddd....I was born!

April is a great time of year, unless you are a financial analyst like my dear husband is. My birthday lands at a pretty bad time of year for Ricky. He used to take my birthday off. But, since quarter end is the first week of April, and we have collected nine kids over the years (lol) it's gotten increasingly hard for him to spend the day or evening with me on April 4th. We do get to sneak away from time to time, but it's NOT usually during the first week of April. Every year he tries to at least get home early, and most years as of recent it just doesn't work out. I had a feeling this year would be tough too, so I planned my own party! Bea wrapped a bunch of flower bulbs that I picked out last week and she had the best time giving them to me. I acted like I had never seen them before. I hadn't looked at them since I bought them, and I was delighted at all the cheery color and fun of them as my gift!

Beatrice also made me a window frame out of Popsicle sticks. When Bea gave me the window she lamented in the sweetest concerned three year old squeaky voice that it was crooked. She even hung her head down sadly! I told her I love crooked windows. Her whole sweet face lit up and her smile beamed. It was precious and I adore my Popsicle stick window!

First thing after breakfast I took the teens to their finance class, but before we left we found a dead chicken and a very wounded one. That was a hectic start to the morning. I was just going to to kill the wounded one but it was wiggling around a bunch. I was too hasty and rushed (AND IN A DRESS) to take it over to the killing cone for slaughtering. I stopped and examined it more...what if she's just real hurt but not mortally wounded? Its eyes were swollen shut. But, sometimes people look pretty darn bad at the hospital after a severe injury. (Then again, they are AT AN ACTUAL HOSPITAL.) Reluctantly, I put away the hatchet and stuck the hen in a box with pine shavings until I could get back home and care for her. While I drove I thought about all the miracle animals I've seen and the compassionate people who saved them. A special floating "wheel chair" for a disabled fish and a wounded turtle with tiny wheels for front legs. Dogs with two legs. Realistically, chickens have a pretty low survival rate once badly injured or ill. Over the years you lose wayyy more than you save. I'll just stop the suspense and tell ya now: Cupcake (I quickly and aptly named her since it was my birthday) didn't make it. I should have put her out of misery after all. I once found a floppy, cold and drenched chicken after a bad rainstorm. I brought her inside and warmed her in a sink bath and blow dried her feathers. That girl made it. (Just fell like adding a happy chicken story here for good measure.)

Back to my Birthday...
I told the younger kids I'd take them to Target to get cake decorating supplies. I browsed the birthday section and found a unicorn headband and super cute plates.

It dawned on me that I had never had a unicorn birthday party, probably because I was so into unicorns as a child that it never crossed my mind. Unicorns weren't on my radar as a once over birthday thing. Unicorns were something I did everyday. But now I'm a grown up. A really big grown up, I'm now at level 39 and it is unicorn party time, because it's been ages since I've unicorned! 

Back at home after Target I made an electrolyte solution for Cupcake, the hurt and probably dying chicken, I packed its wounds with an antibiotic ointment, and then it was time to help Bea (3) and Everett (6) make cakes. It was around this time I realized throwing your own birthday party is a lot of work. 

I quipped on my Facebook: 

"I am juggling four kids making each their OWN cakes for me (it's for me right?), two of which want to make them from scratch, them also fighting, a broken bowl, a one year old playing in dog food, and a hurt chicken I'm trying to nurse back to health. (A very hurt chicken. Blood, everything.) And I'm doing it all with a unicorn horn on my head because I am having a unicorn party. Wild day."

Penelope and Sebastian were not thrilled they had to wait all day to make their cakes. I am only ONE person though and they want to make theirs from scratch. I heard a good bit of complaining about them having to wait. As the other cakes cooled Charlotte got home from college. She enthusiastically, because she's the best adult-kiddo ever, whipped out her cake airbrush supplies and started whipping up frosting. Thank God for Charlotte. 

She got busy with the kids decorating and letting them do list the work while still helping them create. I was off to pick up the teen boys from class. I had to hurry because I had a 3:00 birthday massage appointment. On the way to get the boys I knew I should get gas (gas light has been on all day) but guess what kind of person I am?

However, on the way home I was chatting away so happily with my teens about my crazy day that I forgot to stop for gas on the way home. Nearly home the van made a couple of slower weird feeling jerks only detectable by me. My van was thirsty. I was nervous there for a sec, but we made it home. I promptly got a big gas can out of the garage. (Ricky could be reading this thinking, so that's why I don't always have as much gas as I think we have on hand for the lawn mower... Heehe.)  I quickly put some gas in (no actually I stood there forever because it's not fast pouring gas in from a gas can into a huge van) and I felt like a dork and laughed at myself. As I'm gassing up the kids walked out and show me UNICORN CAKES because they couldn't wait any longer!!!!  I loved them!! They had edible sparkle glitter and star candy embellishments you can't even see as well in photos. Very magical!

Then I took off in my van again. I made it to my birthday massage appointment (and got gas from a real station), a big thanks to all my lovely kids at home holding down the fort. When I got home the LAST thing I wanted to do was make more cakes! However, Sebastian and Penelope had their turn of cakes to still do. I didn't have to do a lot, they could mostly do it, but I'm still needed to help. As they finished up Layla and I decorated outside and took pictures, we enjoyed some cake, too. Bea and Everett couldn't wait for cake so we had cake before dinner. I actually do cake before dinner a lot. They leave me alone to do dinner that way. Besides, after dinner is cleaned up the last thing any mom wants to hear about is getting more food out!

I actually had no dinner planned and it was 5:30 or so. I kinda thought dinner plans would just fall into place. I had going out or ordering pizza in my head. Ricky soon texted me a sincere message about how sorry he was he wasn't home yet. He also joked that we should move my birth date. I texted him back: You are an amazing husband and you love me unconditionally everyday of your life. You always think of me first and I have everything I could need and you always strive to give me more. You don't have to be sorry.

I ordered pizza around 6pm. I had wanted to go get Mexican with Ricky and ALL the kids but I was certain he would be too pooped from work, plus I was way too exhausted, and Madeline is at a very hard restaurant age anyway. I ordered pizza and had everyone help me pick up the house before dinner. Ricky walked in as we got the couch bed out and we all ate in the living room watching something family friendly (AFV probably), I don't remember because Ricky and I fell fast asleep nearly immediately after dinner. Couch beds are the best thing ever.
 Aside from my massage and flowers to plant, I also got nice new rain boots, better clips I wanted for my hot rollers, and a book: Mrs. Dunwoody's Excellent Instructions for Homekeeping: Timeless Wisdom and Practical Advice .

I have spent the last few days doing yard work. I love yard work. I love gardening. I love the kids playing outside all day. I love flowers. I love rain boots. I love spring. I love baby chicks and kids that love them, too. I love the world I'm in when everything turns green. I love fresh air and blue skies. I love warmth. I love little voices next to me asking me questions about earthworms, grubs, and gardening. I love seeing tightly wound Hostas pop up from the ground. I love teaching a kid how to mow. I love my husband. I love spring. Life is so good. Thirty-nine is amazing.

 In the spring, at the end of the day, you should smell like dirt. -Margaret Atwood

Spring has returned. The Earth is like a child that knows poems. Rainer Maria Rilke
Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/r/rainermari147755.html?src=t_spring

In the spring, at the end of the day, you should smell like dirt. Margaret Atwood
Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/spring.html

Come to Think of it, How Do I Do It?

Madeline is a very clingy baby. Which means it's hard to get housework done.

I feel like I get nothing done. I have more clothes needing folding than I did with a newborn and my kitchen is grimy. I hate running out of room around here and feeling like we need to move to a bigger house. I hate our half painted exterior (we started removing the shutters and painting our house last year). I hate my unorganized basement and half hung curtains down there and a much needed plumbing repair for the washing machine outlet. I hate all the things that are undone, the a pile of to-do lists, our annoying goat fence repairs...I hate writing about it. I hate complaining. I hate being unappreciative. I hate using the word hate.

After reading what I just wrote above my frustration begins to wane. I am forced to remember how fortunate we are, how this home is large and we only think it's shrinking because we keep adding kids to it. I remember that we go to the grocery store and we afford plenty of food. I remember the kids are in gymnastics and homeschool groups and they go to homeschool dances and summer camp. We are healthy. We are so blessed. Life with nine kids is not easy, and this past year I have realized it more than ever. But we do love it even if it means that things stay undone and get neglected...even if it means I can't finish projects, even if it means I don't have time for painting or fixing up the laundry room. Even if it means stuff goes undone while babies get nurtured. Sometimes though, I have to tell myself that its also okay to get frustrated and fed up and not to feel guilty about it, I'm human!

When I have mini freak outs of 'I get nothing done' I have to recenter myself. I'm raising people. And thats a lot. So, when I feel like I'm losing ground and I just have to realize it and think about it. When I go shopping I say a prayer of thanks that we eat well. While driving the kids to gymnastics I think of my husband at work and remember that this is one more reason why he works so hard for us. (He has said so too.) Every time we get gas I appreciate we have cars. Every month, at least once or twice, I thank my husband for taking care of us. My worries start to seem small when I remember what real worries look like. 

How I Really Do It 

I get lots of people telling me they don't know how I do it. "It" meaning how I handle all the kids, housework, insanity, long hours, the screaming ( happy and sad kids scream!), the crying, the very little 'me' time, cooking, cleaning (oh dear God, cleaning is most of what I do!), and last but not least, the overall expense involved in raising a gaggle of kids. 

I used to just chuckle it off and give a half hearted "Yeahhh, it's a real hoot!" Or, "They keep me very busy!" and move on. 

It got me thinking a while ago though, how DO I do it? Pretty much what keeps me going, besides the fact that I love my kids and want them to have the best childhood possible, is that I have a really supportive husband. If I could stand there and explain this to every person who asks me how I do it this is what I'd say: I'm not in this alone. Ricky is fully present in our lives as a husband and father. He's almost always present with us when he's home and if he's not home he's always just a phone call away. We have a really close relationship, and he's in nine kids just as deep as I am. 

I absolutely love being a mom and wife, but part of the reason I love it so, so much is that I never feel alone or taken for granted. Ricky and I don't have "who has it harder contests." We have both joy and sympathy for each other on a daily basis. I'm so proud of him working hard and accomplishing what he does and I'm thankful he's a great dad and husband. I honor and cherish him and he does and feels all the same ways for me. I always get more than one kiss goodbye. He is optimistic. He's easy to love. He's a good dad. He loves me at my best and my worst. He supports me. He respects me. He's nice to me. He's funny. He laughs. That's how I do it. .

One thing that helps me through tough days is that he's always there for me. I can get a hold of him anytime when he's at work (unless he's in a meeting of course). Anytime I want to tell him anything, if I just want a sympathetic ear to quickly share my hardships with, he's there. If I'm cranky and un-showered. If the kids are screaming and crying in the background. If the baby just fell off of something. If I'm sick or tired. If I just want to tell him that I wish I had another job for the day where I didn't have people screaming, roughhousing, throwing food, emptying toilet paper rolls, clogging the toilet, losing a toothbrush down the drain, scattering potatoes all over the kitchen floor, coloring on the wall, making "potions" with spices in the kitchen, unmaking beds, playing with mud on the front porch, throwing a mud ball at side of the house, all while the baby is latched on me like a sucker fish as the kids fall off swings and get stuck in trees. I can tell him. Sometimes I want to escape the people who eat 20 lbs of oranges, three loaves of bread, and four dozen eggs in four days.... So I call him. He listens. He lends support. He agrees. He asks me what he can do to help. He's my rock. That's how I do it, and that's how I keep doing it. I'm allowed to have every emotion I have. And he listens.

Then there's the times that he laughs at me as I rattle off hilarious or ornery things the kids are up to. There's also the times he tells me I'm cute as I explain to him the quirky mishaps I have encountered throughout the day. I love his strong supportive voice, his calm demeanor, his attention to detail, his chuckling laugh - I know co workers must hear him laughing sometimes. I adore that laugh so much. I can feel the stress wash away from me and I start to smile because I can hear his laughter and love for me shoot right through the phone line and into my heart. This is how I do it. It's him. He doesn't just say he loves me, he shows it in everything he does. I see it in his eyes. I hear it in his voice. 

He calls me. Sometimes he will call me just to hear me ramble for a minute. I love that. So he'll call out of the blue sometimes and I'll just talk... he also knows it's a way I get some adult interaction and I can share my joys or frustrations.

We are a great team. Last weekend was full of so much crazy. We laughed it off all day. Every whine, scream, wrestling match between the kids, food on the floor, clingy baby, messes, poop, spilled drink, a certain kid defying us, we rolled with it all weekend. We often look at each other and wonder why we did this to ourselves. We often long for some alone time. We get interrupted by kids frequently. It's hard. It's realllly hard. But I'm not alone. But not only all that, we love kids. We love watching them, nurturing them, laughing at their antics, we love providing a loving home and building this legacy together. We love having a built in party on birthdays and holidays. We love it. We love each other. It makes it all so easy even when it's hard.

If I could, I'd stand there and tell complete strangers all of that when they ask how I do it. Or, when some people give me dirty looks or make rude comments because they think children are a burden and that one (or two) people could not possibly provide for or enjoy that many children, I'd like to tell them how wrong they are.

Thanksgiving 2016

I stood sobbing over two bowls of marshmallow salad. It started with just two tears streaming down my face but by the time I was folding whipped topping into the fluffy marshmallows and fruit I was sobbing. Making Thanksgiving dinner is a joy to me but the stress of October lingered and Thanksgiving was starting to feel like another thing I had to do. I just wanted a shower. The kids had been wild and restless for weeks. Madeline had also been a monkey for weeks. She's so wild!
Minutes before the tears fell I yelled at Ricky for basically nothing. He irritated me about something dumb and I got snappy. He told me he wasn't going to hang out in the kitchen with me if I was going to yell at him. So then I did yell at him, "I'm not yelling at you, THIS is yelling at you!" I was feeling tired (it was nearing midnight) and I was so grumpy. (Or at this point totally pissed off.) I continued on, "And don't be in the kitchen then! I don't care because "everything's" ruined now anyway."

Sigh. Stress. Sad face.

I had a hard week, and when I really think about it, this has also been a bit of a hard year for various reasons that I don't want to spell out.

Madeline has been so demanding this week and really this month. She is into everything. All day long we chase her around. She also chases me around wanting to be held. She is very needy but so very sweet. She's not a hard baby in actuality, but she keeps us very busy. This week she's been pulling cans out of the cupboard. She's wrapped the vacuum cord around her neck. She also just wants to tear massive amounts of stuff up. She's constantly wiggling from her high chair and then standing up in her high chair. When you get her down she just climbs up the kitchen chairs and the kitchen table. She falls off the chairs regularly and yesterday she fell off the table. She basically landed head first on the wood floor. I was running over to her when it happened. In almost slow motion, before I could reach her, there she toppled feet over her head just as she peeked over the edge of the table in a squat. Insane child! Most people, the kind without nine kids, probably would have rushed their child to the hospital. After only a few minutes of crying and nursing and then a half hour of playing I gave mine a car ride to make her fall asleep.I have no idea why she STILL climbs up chairs. She falls of them frequently. Kids are amazing and resilient. The human species in general is too. Also, genetics. Ricky's head and his children's heads are like bricks! I've never seen anything like it. One time Beatrice fell out of the van while we were loading it up. She was around two and I was right next to her. She talked in full paragraphs very young and insisted I did NOT have to help her up! She toppled out on her head. She still has an actual dent on her head from it. That actually scared me very badly. The sound of head hitting black top is horrid. She was totally fine. Her head dented though! Their skulls are all part metal or brick, I'm sure of it.

Picture from December 2016 (which hasn't even happened yet because this is a NOVEMBER 2016 post, remember. lol) See, told you. She's nuts. She tries to run down the slide.

You know when someone's kid gets hurt or dies from drowning, or an equally horrible thing, and everyone lashes out at the parents and calls them the worst ever? The holier than thou parents (and grandparents) come out in hoards on online comment sections preaching about how they never take their eyes off their kids ever, and this would never happen to them. Yeah whatever. Parenting is hard and kids do stuff. Not only do accidents happen, but sometimes you have these really freaking crazy kids (like Everett the bull riding fire fighter and adventurous Madeline especially) and nearly every time you turn around they are being totally insane.

So, Thanksgiving...
I sobbed while folding the marshmallows and fruit together. The small gluten free pizza I was baking for us as a late dinner was done. I cut it and solemnly brought Ricky half. He ate quietly in the dark bedroom while he finished watching TV. Afterwards he came in the kitchen and asked me if I wanted help. I had stopped crying but started again as I blurted out, "I'm so sorry I was mean to you." Tears. Lots of tears fell as big man arms wrapped all the way around my sobbing body. He's the best. This is marriage, the raw stuff. The I'd do anything for you no matter what stuff. The best stuff: like bringing your husband pizza because he needs to eat even if you are snappy and annoyed, or offering help and giving bear hugs to your wife even when she was being the mean one. No grudges or grievances to be had.

"For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish..."

Does anyone really think about what "for worse" means? I didn't really. I always just assumed it meant during hard times or illness --pretty similar to the 'poorer' and 'in sickness' thing actually. Turns out it probably means more like when your partner is suddenly a grouchy jerk to you and you show them grace and humility. When we show our worst sides we need to still work towards loving and cherishing each other. (Note: This should not extend itself into abuse.)

He forgave me. He apologized. (He didn't need to.) I cried. I felt better. Release.

We finished making marshmallow salad, jello, stuffing, and pumpkin pie together until our eyes were drooping closed. We had a nice Thanksgiving. I'm always thankful for him and for who we are together. We truly bring out the best in each other.

1 year ago~ Newborn Madeline

I was pretty busy, but I finally got my shower at 2pm Thanksgiving day after everything was almost ready. I told my family that no one eats until I shower!  Barely squeezed that in!

I was very pleased with my braided pie crusts! I LOVE making homemade pie.

 We played Pie Face (kids loved it!) and ate and ate and ate.

We all ate around the kitchen table. Big family life!

Reminds me of this gem of a movie, Cheaper By the Dozen

And that's a wrap! My calendar is cleared. I am looking forward to hibernation time. Usually in the winter we stay in a lot. We hunker down like bears. So very thankful for that.

Kid Snippets: 

November 10th
Bea (3) was looking closely at the bushes and flowers outside the library....
Bea: "Mom are these flowers all out of bees?"
Me: That's so cute Bea. You know so much stuff, like how flowers are supposed to have bees on them.
Bea: Yeah cause I know everything! Just like I know about doggies in the road and old leaves and bees in flowers! Cause I am sooo big and sooo smart, too.

And so cute too! She is great. (I have no idea what doggies in the road meant! I love it though!) Picture below is outside of the library next to the flowers. Bea decided to crawl through the bike racks, Penelope is following.

Always stop to smell the flowers...and crawl through make-shift tunnels

November 7
Bea (3) a few minutes ago at 4-freaking-am...
Bea: Mom, is it almost Christmas?
Me: No honey, not yet.
Bea: Mom is it almost Christmas?
Me: No, it's almost Thanksgiving.
Bea: Mom, is it almost Christmas?
Me: No!
Bea: Mom, is it almost Christmas?
Me: Bea, NO! You've asked me four times!! Stop asking!
Bea says nothing for 10 minutes, then she says, "Mom, I talk a lot when I talk."

(Oh goodness, I LOVE HER!)

November 3
“The most effective kind of education is that a child should play amongst lovely things.” –Plato

November 28 

Everett age (6) loves to try to cook things in front of the space heater in the kitchen. "I want perfect ham" he tells me quite seriously as he places lunch meat in front of the heater.  It actually cooked to my surprise! He was thrilled. He's been obsessed with freezing things for years. It's actually comical. If he has two cookies he'll freeze one. He freezes milk and all kinds of things. It drives me crazy but it is also super adorable and interesting how much he loves freezing things. Now he has taken a fancy with the space heater. 

Last summer he kept trying to freeze our blackberries from our bushes. We didn't have enough to freeze though! We wanted to eat them fresh. If I wanted frozen blackberries I would buy some from Costco. He would beat us to the bushes sometimes and we'd go crazy because he'd have the ripe ones frozen already without us knowing. It's pretty hilarious even though we were also not happy he was doing it. He LOVES freezing stuff to see how it changes.

All Things With Faith and Love

When we were expecting baby Penelope (kiddo #5) Ricky was accepted into an intensive graduate program for finance at Washington University.

When we were expecting baby Sebastian Ricky graduated from the intensive graduate program and got his first job using his degree.

When we were expecting baby Everett Ricky changed jobs within the firm he worked for. He earned himself a position that was more fitting for him (but still not exactly what fit him best.) His new boss, who had six kids of his own, helped Ricky with his career in ways that we will always be truly thankful. He helped introduce him to people and recommend him to another department because he wanted to see Ricky use his full potential.

When we were expecting Baby Beatrice another job opportunity came along. Remarkably, his next new boss also had a large family...seven kids. Very fun to meet so many others with a large families.

We have joked that good things happen to us when we have babies. We have joked off and on over the years that we should just have another baby so he can further his career. We joked, and not really joked, because it is true. It kept happening. Remarkable things happen to us when we have babies. We grow as a family, as a couple, as parents, and in other ways. Everything aligns: faith, luck, hard work...it all seems to come together. As we began our journey to large family living I often heard other very large families with 10, 12, 14 kids say that God always provides. Over the years I started to understand what they meant.

We are expecting a new baby this fall, the ninth blessing to join our home and lives, and Ricky is yet AGAIN going through a transformational period in his life related to his career. Staying within same firm that has been such a blessing to our lives, he recently had an amazing career opportunity. He starts his "new" job today. He gives 100% of himself at work and 100% of himself to us at home and I am so very thankful every single day of my life for such a passionate and hardworking man. I love him so much and know how much he loves us because he shows me everyday. I am truly blessed. I hope the children read this someday and know that their mother and father truly do support, love, honor, and cherish each other everyday. I hope Ricky reads this and knows that I know how hard he works, and that he does it for us, and that I am grateful for his dedication. Some people have told me that we make having so many kids look easy. I know what they mean, because so often Ricky makes taking care of us look easy too. It's not so much that it's easy. He works very hard. I of course work very hard too. We both get worn down, we get stressed, we get tired...really tired. I suddenly realized one day that it's not that it's easy, it's that we do all things with faith and love.

Prayers for Nepal

The loss of life, homes, and historic architecture in Nepal is nothing short of heartbreaking. I am very sad for the entire area. I hate suffering and it shakes me to my core. It humbles me every single time something horrible like this happens. These people are truly suffering.

 Yesterday I made prayer flags for Nepal with the kids.

Prayer flags are a beautiful and meaningful way to spread prayers, peace, and good wishes. They can be found hanging throughout the Himalayas. As the wind blows the flags the essence of your prayer travels. As the flags tatter the threads blow away and are carried into the world. You can make specific prayers and tailor handmade flags to a specific cause as we did, or flags can also be simply hung as a symbol of luck, peace, happiness, compassion, prosperity, health, and longevity. 

You can make your own or buy traditionally symbolic ones. The 5 colors of prayer flags represent the 5 basic elements: yellow-earth, green–water, red-fire, white-air, blue-space. Balancing these elements externally brings harmony to the environment. Balancing the elements internally brings health to the body and the mind.

Learning about geography and history works best when you can connect to the lesson in some  meaningful way. Now is a good time for us to start a unit study on the area.

It was lovely seeing the kids working on the prayer flags together. Penelope drew Mt. Everest with a rescue helicopter. When I was going through the flags admiring them that's the one that made me instantly tear up. She really gets it, and she prayed for rescue. 

It is a really great helicopter too! I thought all the flags turned out beautiful and I am proud of the kids. We pray for peace, rescue, shelter, food, helping hands, and healing.

Much love to Nepal, from a tiny blip on the map American family.

How to help: 7 vetted charities doing relief work following the earthquake

Why You Gotta Be So Mean?

People are so mean and hateful. You know what I have done, and just did do? When I see someone being attacked on FB I might occasionally stick up for them a little on the thread. But I hate drama and it's so lame. Mostly, I sent them a loving private message. I just did just that to this woman who asked a natural birth community why some people have so many kids. Her question was really genuine and she wanted to know some very specific things. Like if over population is a concern for big families (why not?), if they do it for religious reasons, if they are afraid of being alone, if they just like having kids (but still why so many), Etc. She made a very clear point to say she did not want to upset anyone or sound judgmental, and I quote, "Please don't kill me."

I mean, I understand her asking, seriously who wants 6, 8, 10 kids.... !? Not very many people! It is a very good question and a very curious question to some. Financially and physically it is a ton of work. Are we really so blind to that fact that others don't understand why a family would keep having kids? There are lots of things I don't understand because I don't live that way. I am absolutely dumbfounded when I go into the city and see city living. It looks totally bizzare to me! Why would anyone want to live in the city!? But actually I know the main answers to those questions. They are fairly clear cut: more jobs, convenience, more amenities, culture, diversity, schools...I would probably never ask someone why they like to live in the city, I probably could guess.  I would more expect some one to ask me why I like rural/country living. I wouldn't be the least bit offended. I honestly suspect most people wouldn't be offended by either question.

Well, she was viciously attacked. The hatred and meanness was unbelievable. Someone mocked her, "I'm not racist, but..." Implying that she was being judgmental/hateful and making it sound like she wasn't. Others called her a troll. She apologized profusely and explained she actually wants four kids, which is a lot where she is. (That's a lot nearly everywhere, last I checked) But why have more than four? She pondered. ...you know, because it seems like a lot of kids. She even tried to explain that she understands being the odd one no one understands because she has eight cats, and lots of people think that is weird and expects her house to smell bad. She was then trashed for comparing kids to cats. When she said she was in tears she was mocked and somebody said, "Ah she's crying, cry me a river."

My brain is seizing at this point. I hate people sometimes.

I messaged her:

People on the __________ group are out if their minds. The internet sure shows the worst of people. I am so sorry. I have eight kids and I will try and answer your questions if I find the time. I do not have the time right now, but I love to think and write about big families. I have a blog, but with eight kids it can be hard to find the time to write! Lol. Seriously, those women are being nasty and probably have nothing else to do. They are in attack mode and are acting like a pack of animals. We are not all like this, I assure you.

She says:

Thank you Shauna!
I suddenly start to cry. You're so nice right now. After all those mean things they said. I just posted an second apologie but saw that the post was removed..Things got out of hand. I really didn't meant to hurt someone. I tried to carefully write what i meant. Fortunately you understand

By the way, I believe she is foreign. Good job American women. Way to look like a bunch of horrible people. We talked some more, she is really sweet. And now I have a new friend. I love hearing her describe her cats and how that makes her weird to some, and how she feels she has to defend herself too! Fascinating. Why is it just so dang hard to love other people? Why do we have to defend ourselves so angrily? What do we have to hide, defend, or feel so angry about? Why would we not feel compassion to others, especially as they try to understand, explain, and ultimately cry? What kind of people, friends, parents, wives, or mothers are we being by acting like that, ladies?? Online I see that women are fierce, but not in the good way.

Blog title inspired by Taylor Swift.

Life is Grand

The Renaissance Faire!
I am so behind on the day but I have to stop and write about Beatrice at the Ren Faire yesterday. We always have a lovely time at the faire. We love and enjoy everything about it. It's small but not tiny, it's easy to get around, all the people are always so friendly and lovely, and the venue is an absolutely perfect backdrop of lush woods and enchanted forest. I feel like I'm in a place of magic each time we go, especially when the humid day cools and we are gifted with a soothing shower of light rain in the afternoon. We enjoy shows, food, and each other. I also always wear the beautiful moonstone necklace Ricky bought me at the Ren Faire four years ago. I love traditions. This year we made pirate flags & balloon wands, visited tiny fairy houses, and bought pretty soaps and essential oils from a dear friend. We enjoyed the funny "Crazy Boy Coy" show; he was a fabulous juggler and talent (not to mention fire eater!), a very funny performer and great with the audience.

The kids were happy and content and Everett (3) was calm and collected. I think he is finally maturing a bit and finding more patience to observe things. Ricky and I had a few beers together and we enjoyed some golden honey mead. It's always just an all around great time when we go. Every year the kids look forward to funnel cake and other horrendously fried dessert foods. We always stay for far longer than we think we will stay and spend far more money than we think we will spend! The teens enjoyed buying many goodies from the shops with saved birthday money from last year. I bought a simple woven and fabulous hand held fan to cool a hot and sticky nursing baby and mommy with. (This will be kept with us all summer now! Especially since our air conditioner is broken! )

So, 11 month old Beatrice at the faire... She loved every moment of it. Kids are given a coin at the entrance for the troll in the wishing well. Charlotte was holding Baby Bee and I told her to wish for luck. So Beatrice made a wish with the troll to always be lucky in life. He granted Beatrice's wish and gave her a small pebble (which we have for safe keeping) and she flailed her arms and smiled big at him trying to grab him. It was the most adorable thing EVER. Even a bystander said out loud, "Oh my gosh, that is SO cute." I was trying to take a picture and discovered our camera battery was dead. It was quite disappointing and the only bad thing of the whole day, but all the more reason to write down what pictures didn't capture I guess. In the past we've come home with MANY wonderful pictures, but this time would be different. Charlotte did manage a few shots with her ipod though, just not with the troll unfortunately.

Everett (3) wished to have a super power. The troll asked him which one he'd like and Everett said orange. (Orange is his favorite color.) The troll laughed and told him that was the most creative wish he's ever granted, and he now has the super power to turn anything he wants orange. Everett loved it. The troll got a real kick out of it too. Sebastian (5) wished for many dollars and the troll said "Wish granted, I will give you many doll hairs." It was hilarious. The troll started plucking hairs from his beard explaining that they are just like doll hairs and will do just fine in place of real doll hairs. It was a fabulous encounter. 

When we sat down for a show of fire and juggling Beatrice was all-in. She clapped and smiled and watched the whole show. Afterwards we ate lunch near the stage which now had a belly dancing show going on. Beatrice barely took her eyes of the belly dancers. We were happily watching her because she was having so much fun!

On our adventures through the woods she saw adoptable doggies and some horses she liked. She watched people. She watched me and played with a marker while I made her a pirate flag. (Her flag has a sword and bumble bee on it.) She enjoyed meeting my friend Beth for the first time and their little adorable doggie (a Teacup Chihuahua!! OMG he's so cute.)

She sat with us in mud and clay in the rain to watch a jousting show. She looked so cute with rain drops wetting her hair.

When we stopped for our traditional funnel cake feasting she made us laugh because when Ricky handed me the funnel cakes she went crazy squealing and jabbering while reaching for them. She had no idea what I had but she just knew it was food and wanted some. I placed the hot paper plates under the stroller so we could find a quiet spot in the woods to enjoy our traditional family funnel cake picnic. She hollered and screeched and reached off to the side of the stroller trying to get to the treats. It was SO funny. I laid a blanket down and everyone piled on with the funnel cake. I plopped little Bee right in the middle. She was so happy. She was a part of everything yesterday. She was so joyful and thrilled to be at the faire with us.We all noticed how involved she was. She wasn't just a baby along for the ride, she actively participated in nearly everything!

Trader Joe's 
On our way home we stopped off at Trader Joe's to pick up some gmo free corn tortillas.

Just tortillas. That's all I ran in for.

How do you think that went? Yeah $110.00 dollars later. Hah!

So originally I was just going to run in real quick while everyone waited in the car. I was casually browsing the fresh cut flowers as if I had nothing else to do as soon as I stepped foot inside the store. I quickly decided I needed a cart after all...for the big beautiful potted mums I had just picked out. As I finished getting my cart Ricky surprised me by coming in. He just stood there and smiled at me. I looked up expecting to see another customer in my way, or me in their way,  but I was really surprised to see him. The look we gave each other was like we'd run into each other after a month of dating and we were happy to cross paths. Seriously. It was exactly that adorable.

He said he just wanted to hang out with me. Moments like this make my life 1000 times more awesome. We love being together. It's true the simplest things in the life are the best. It's not where we are or what we are doing that makes us happy, it's just simply being with each other. I love him so much. I love the way he looks at me, the way he laughs at everything with me, the way he loves me. We loaded the cart up with yummy things and talked about how when we are "single" we'll only have Trader Joe's food in the fridge. We refer to all the kids being out of the house one day as our "single life" together. We say that instead of a once in a while trip to Trader Joe's we'll shop together there weekly for our small (but delicious!) meals. I can't imagine cooking for only two people, but I can imagine us being together just like we are now; happily picking out blueberry scones and organic banana-vanilla yogurt together. Life is so sweet and fun when in love. That whole 'falling in love with the same person over and over again' saying? It really can happen. It can happen when you have a new baby together, it can happen when you just look into each others eyes and smile, it can happen in the middle of Trader Joe's on a weekend afternoon.

We bought the kids vanilla bean cupcakes for waiting quietly in the car with the sleeping baby. They were happy, content, and quiet after a long, fun day. What a happy pretty day that even ended with a flirty date at Trader Joe's. I've said it before and I'll say it again, everyday of my life is made better with him in it. Aspire for great things and you can achieve great things... I always, always wanted a great marriage.

It's Ethan's Birthday

Ethan is 14 today!

Ethan is a quiet, happy kid who is sensitive and thoughtful…so very thoughtful. Ethan is kind and willing to lend a hand. He's sometimes absent minded when it comes to chores or 'the order of things' but he isn't easily sidetracked once he gets going. I've learned to think his absent mindedness is cute. One thing that's hard when you are a parent is realizing these kids won't always be the people they are right now. They'll grow, they'll change...they'll bloom into new people. So when Ethan does silly things like takes the trash bag from the kitchen out all the way to the curb because that's where the cans are, but doesn't bring the trash cans up even though the garbage man has clearly already been here, I try not to point out his flaw. I simply, later on, ask him to bring the trash cans up now -which is his normal routine and job anyway. He usually realizes on his own (’Duh, I should have done that earlier!'). I've learned getting frustrated at kids doesn't make them learn. Repetition and/or maturity help them to learn, nagging and complaining can turn into belittling and harm them socially and emotionally. I get the same result as if I nag or complain as if I just ignore the mistakes and just ask nonchalantly about it later. Thank you God for letting me learn this before my first set of teenagers are grown. I want to be a patient mom. There have been times that I nagged them all to near death -no more though.

So, Ethan is 14 and we went out to lunch for his birthday. We had a great time and I asked him what he knows in his 14 years and he said, "That I like turtles." And Sage replied, "Turtles are cool, they take their house with them."

I want Ethan to know he's a sweet and sensitive kid who is kind. I want him to know that I see that he tries really hard and I see it in everything he does. Ethan is so kind that he holds anger or upsets inside of him as long as he can until he's so upset he explodes into tears. I tell him he should try to not do that. He should speak his mind and not let himself get to the boil over point. I hope I'm able to help him with that. We don't want anyone taking advantage of him, and he will let people. As parents we have to teach him this about himself so that he can learn and watch out for it, especially as an adult.

He likes reading and drawing and he's an amazing independent worker. He gets his school work done eagerly. I love his writing! I ask the kids to keep journals and his is always a joy to read. He's got a great imagination and his writing keeps getting better and better, I wonder if he'd ever like to be a writer...

Ethan can do flips on the trampoline, which impresses me. He goes to bed early and wakes up early. He self regulates well, accept for the not speaking his mind part. He likes TV and video games but plays and then moves on to another thing. He loves science, dinosaurs, history, and animals. He loves our animals; he's attached to them in ways I often don't realize. If the dogs get out he worries about them, where I'm the one saying ...oh they'll come back the little jerks! Ethan and Sage chase down the dogs and bring ‘em on home. I appreciate it a lot.

Ethan is a hard worker; he's got his Dad and Grandpa in him for sure. Two amazing, hardworking, loyal, and wonderful men. Not unlike his Dad and Grandpa he'll sit back and watch others, smiling and laughing in enjoyment at his family. He's witty and fun and I love the looks he gives me when I'm being silly and weird. We have a lot of fun being weird at our house.

He gives to the kids and helps them a lot. He played for hours on the trampoline with Penelope (7), Sebastian (5) and Everett (3). He's still got that kid brain -the child-born ability to see the magic in everything and pretend for hours ...and play like a child. It's a blessing for him to be a homeschooler, he doesn't have to grow up. Not yet. Not too soon. He's a blessing to all of us.

I love you Ethan.

November Update

A round of turkey-bingo with a 7, 5 and 3 year old went horribly wrong; kids crying, whinny,  bored. Everett's jumping off the living room coffee table. I'm pretty much trying to salvage our "school" day and say, 'you're going to like this dang turkey-bingo game if it's the last thing I do' *shaking fist* ...but then snowflakes started falling across the living room window and we were all rescued from the torture. The first snow we always have hot cocoa to celebrate. Usually I don't make it when it's just a flurry of flakes that ends in 6 minutes, but today is different. Today we need a distraction. Badly. Not all the Enchanted Learning printables and Pinterest homescool pins in the world can save me from today.

It's one of those days where I am being as calm and awesome as can humanly be possible, even giving Mary Poppins a run for her money, and the children are being as whiny, fussy, picky, and uncooperative as possible. Sometimes every single minute is a struggle. Sometimes the results of awesome parenting and patience just doesn't take hold until they are older. ((lol lol)) I tell myself just keep swimming...

At bedtime tonight I told the kids enthusiastically that we'd try turkey-bingo again tomorrow. They all said "okay mom!" So tomorrow is another day.

I really don't have much time to do anything let alone write. It gets me a little down but I try to write things down here and there. This month was supposed to be more relaxed, more carefree, more balanced, less stressed. It was none of those things. I journaled some things off and on this month...

11/10/13
Layla's doing interviews around the house today. She asks me and Sebastian in a talk show host tone, "Okay now, what schools or colleges have you gone to? ...and Clown College counts, so don't be shy."

Sage and Ethan had their wisdom teeth out and it sucked, but it's over and now we don't ever have to worry about their straight teeth (which they were naturally given!) being ruined from wisdom teeth. We had their wisdom teeth out early in hopes it would be an easier process because the younger you are the smaller they are. Unfortunately for us the difference between 13-14 years old and Charlotte having hers out at 16 years old was not much.  

Chicken Surgery
Charlotte and I can now add chicken tongue surgery to our resumes.  Poor lil bird. It was time to add some young chickens to the flock again. We usually raise spring chicks but this time we decided to try fall birds. We bought them 6 weeks ago and they just got let loose with the big girl birds last week.  When you raise chicks in the spring they don’t start laying eggs until Halloween or Thanksgiving and then soon winter hits and they slow or stop laying for a while. This spring we’ll have healthy perfectly aged birds ready to crank out eggs all spring and summer.

They had only been with the big girls 24 hours before Penelope and Sage caught one and noticed she had a long red string in her mouth.  Charlotte told me she tried to pull it out but it was stuck. Upon further investigation the thread was tied around this poor chickens tongue two different ways and knotted three times! It definitely appeared to be cutting off circulation. We worked on this 2 ft. string for a half hour.  One end was down the chicken’s throat and one hanging out of her mouth.  Charlotte held the bird and I went to work and it was not easy but we got it done despite almost giving up twice.

The poor hen stayed calm and let us stick tweezers down her throat…my good 10 year old Tweezer-man tweezers!  I cannot even think of all the gross things I’ve used these tweezers for. If I even began to name the things you’d barf.  I just keep boiling them on the stove as if it’s the only tool in the whole world.  You can not underestimate the power of a good pair of tweezers…and I still use them on my eyebrows. Lol.  

To get the full effect of the surgery story you would have to hear in the background kids running, crying, fighting, and see Everett keep stealing our scissors and tweezers when we weren’t looking.  Also the sound of “mom, mom, mom, moooom, mom…” on repeat. It was nuts. The chicken survived!

  

Friday 11-15-13
Feeling very thankful thoughts today even though my house isn't as clean as I wish it was and I feel really, really behind (and our washing machine is broken and the dirty clothes are starting to pile up). Feeling thankful I have a sweet baby to care for even if the sweeping isn't getting done and the bathroom is messy and past due for a cleaning. I have kids to run to appointments and school events so my bedroom has baskets of unfolded clothes that we were able to wash finally, and important papers. The baby's changing table in my bedroom holds papers, a belly cast, a lap top computer, a toy sword, some other junk and the directions for Layla's 5k run tomorrow. Things are piling up. I keep telling myself to keep living and no stressing.

Every night I think I'll get caught up after the kids go to bed, but I don't. It's mostly because of long talks and laughter on the couch visiting late into night with my husband. Last night we laughed and laughed and laughed together like we were enjoying a date. I like a clean and organized house but I like my husband more. I also noticed recently that we just never have time to watch TV together...and it's because we spend so much time visiting with each other (after the kids are in bed) it gets way too late to watch TV. What a wonderful problem to have.

 Saturday 11-16-13

Feeling thankful and proud that when I woke up this morning I stumbled into the kitchen and saw 7 year old Penelope loading the dishwasher. I was supposed to do a monstrous amount of dishes last night but fell asleep with Ricky. Thankful that I live in a home where we care and take care of it together even if it's pretty hectic.

Today is Girls On The Run 5k day GO LAYLA!!!!

Layla finished her 5K in with a time of 35.12. SO proud of her. Her practice 5k last weekend was 34.12. Amazing pace!

Sunday 11-17-13

A beautiful day outside, but inside there is crying and screaming over: burnt finger (Penelope and hot glue, hot glue won), laundry piling up badly from broken washer, glass broken on kitchen floor, Everett hollering for some one to peel his apple, Sebastian has a birthday party to go to, the kitchen is a mess with half painted walls and a broken refrigerator, and some insane woman bought 80 lbs of apples and 50 lbs of local potatoes...like she thought she had time for that and 8 kids.

I got to retreat to the den to peacefully soothe and nurse a hungry sweet baby for 10 minutes. Back to work now.

So very thankful for a patient husband who spent 4.5 hours doing laundry last night. (And then I spent 2 hours folding it all.) I don't know how I'd get through the day if he wasn't at the end of every single one smiling at me.

Monday 11-18-13
We really need to order a new water pump for the washer, but the old one is still working --sort of. In order to get it to complete a load of laundry Ricky has to open up the washer valve at the right time and manually drain the washer into our basement floor drain two times a cycle. Then when the pump kicks on he has to make sure it's primed. Sometimes this means pouring water into a hose he has attached to the washer so that the pump primes, this signals our pain in the butt high tech front loader to start the spin cycle.

We have no way to spin the clothes dry unless the washer is signaled by the pump.  Ridiculous. We've said countless times for countless reasons we are never buying a washer that doesn't have a specified SPIN selection on it. Clothes still wet? No spin for you, you're just stuck!!! It's frustrating.

What else was I doing last night? Emptying our refrigerated foods into the freezer downstairs and into an ice chest on the porch. Yup fridge is broken now too. We got the milk out of the ice chest this morning, it's just like camping!

Sunday 11-24-13

We are still living without a refrigerator and washer. A mild but still barfy stomach bug invaded our home. My turn was last night. None of the little kids have gotten in yet, which means the barfed on laundry and towels hasn't hit yet. Life is slightly frustrating a real challenge sometimes!

Two weeks ago I told Ricky I wanted a white vintage Christmas tree. Spoiled and grateful, I am sitting near it right now as I type. We found it on Ebay. He said he loves it too and it was a great idea!

 Monday Nov 26, 2013

The crock pot leaks and I just noticed a crack. I was complaining about it and Ricky said I complained more about a broken $40 crock pot than I have about the refrigerator. Ha. Funny and interesting. 

I have been thinking all week about how refreshing it is we don't have to do anything for Thanksgiving. I'm not even making pie. Charlotte just told me, "I'm so glad we don't have to cook anything this year!" And while we love having Thanksgiving at our house we are so glad we aren't hosting it this year.

Then we started discussing pie...and how we have a pumpkin on the porch and we should make fresh pumpkin pie ...and how we should make a Thanksgiving centerpiece too.

Well so much for doing nothing! Charlotte's cutting up that pumpkin right now. Something is so wrong with us!!