Showing posts with label pregnant. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pregnant. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Blessings for Birth and Motherhood

Support, laughter, love, sisterhood, friendship, being seen, being heard, being valued as a mother and woman...

Those are the things I was given at my most recent mother blessing. Some cherished old friends of mine, many driving from afar to be with me, threw me an impromptu mother blessing last week. Stars aligned and it just happened to work out with only three days notice for the five of us to get together! I dearly thank Molly, my long-time best friend, for throwing it together so last minute.

38.5 weeks baby-belly and counting... gathered together for sweet blessings for me and baby!
I originally had the background and playing baby-Tanner cropped out but decided I love my home and friend's baby taking up some of the photo. This is motherhood.
 A mother blessing is a celebration of new life, womanhood and motherhood all rolled into one fantastic, celebratory, inspirational, and often creative event. The focus is more on the transition into motherhood and is supportive in nature, rather than a baby shower which is thrown as a party with games and baby gifts. At a mother blessing support is offered in preparing the woman spiritually and emotionally for the event of childbirth and beyond. I was especially touched at the offering of support and acknowledgment after all these years, all these births, and all these kids. I was told that this baby matters and I matter. I was reminded and joyfully honored that each birth and each baby is unique, and I am transformed into a new mother with each one! I admit it is usually easier every time, because with experience we all tend to gain new knowledge and confidence, but I'm still a human being. I still carry a brand new life and will birth that life. I bring forth a brand new individual that will always be an individual, with individual needs that will be hard to meet sometimes. I'm still a woman and mother who is ever changing. This is my special journey. Each mothering journey is a new path carved in the labyrinth of my life. I appreciate the energy my mother blessing celebration took on in regards to that. I also appreciated the confidence others have in me and how they shared that. It's actually a great balance. It is easy to pass off a woman with nine kids as 'been there done that.' It is easy for me to pass off myself as being there and having done that. While that still may be partially true and inspiring, it's also true that life, birth, motherhood, and womanhood are all so much more complicated and sacred than that. I might be an old hat at this, but even old hats have to be cared for... maybe even more so, as my friend Molly eloquently pointed out to me. 

Having a small mother blessing provided a nice opportunity for a bit more chit chat and sharing than we usually have time for with a larger group, and it parred well with our usual ceremonial events. I had the most lovely, inspiring, uplifting afternoon! (I missed Charlotte, my oldest, who had to work that day. She had never missed a mother blessing of mine until now.)




Pampering rose petal herbal foot bath and friends' babies discovering the warm water. I was delighted at their joyful playing in the water. I actually thought to myself  'I feel so alive and inspired around babies, it's where I feel the most comfortable.' Sometimes we have kids at mother blessings and sometimes not, but we always have nursing babies! And look how sweet they are!

Labor/birth candle collage we made for me, an inspirational group craft.
 
 In the past we have done group projects like: jewelry, belly henna, wreaths, birth prayer flags, painted belly casts... the sky is the limit with the creativity!
Some of my motherful treasures! Pampering gifts of herbal teas, hand thrown pottery, sisterhood bath salts, seashells, motherhood dolls and trinkets, handmade with love items, a tea ball with charm, pampering oils and soaps.
A well loved mantra and song at many of our blessings, Woman am I, Spirit am I. Mother blessings can include creative crafts, a floral head wreath for the honorary mother, belly casting/painting/henna, gifts, stories, working through fears, prayers, blessings for baby and mom, songs, and lots and lots of friendship and support! (And a pot luck feast!)

Saturday, October 10, 2015

Pregnancy Post 36 / 37 weeks

Beatrice
Bea (2) was hugging my belly and telling the baby she loves the baby:
Me: What do you think the baby's name is?
Beatrice: Baby's name is...is... my friend!
This child is seriously cute and sweet and obsessed with the baby in my belly. She asks to see the baby all of the time. She claims the baby can't see and lifts my shirt up. She closes her eyes and hugs my belly and nuzzles into my belly. She totally gets that there is a baby in there. She confirms with me the baby is growing still. She tells me the baby will nurse. She is just totally in love with my growing belly, the idea of the baby joining us, and he fact that this baby already has a place. At nap or bedtime she tells me she is sleeping or holding the baby and she cuddles right in. I've never quite seen anything like it. She is very, very sweet and very excited. Oh in fact, now she actually asked to 'lay down with baby' when she is tired. This means she wants me to lay with her in my bed and she wants to nap with me and the baby belly. haha. So cute!
Baby Dream
For months I have been waiting for The Baby Dream. This would be the gender prediction dream I have that so far has always, always, amazingly been correct! Even with Everett at one point I thought that maybe he might be a girl, but then I had a very prominent baby boy dream and I was sure after that he was really a boy. Penelope (9) has been waiting and asking for months about my baby dreams for this pregnancy! I told her there were no dreams and she reassured me that it would probably happen in October. 
In the meantime all three of my daughters and my sister Heather had dreams I was having a girl! I told Ricky I thought girl too but I hadn't had any real signs yet. On October 1st Penelope woke up and excitedly asked if I had the dream. It was so cute! But I still had not! As October got started up there were quiet nights and pretty boring dreams. This wiggly somewhat of a mystery baby has been camped out, stretching and outgrowing my womb day by day, bumping and thumping, twirling and whirling... but still inspiring no dreams.  Then sometime last night, in the dark hours of the best slumber there is (3-6 am) I had a dream! It was pretty realistic and had all the realistic features of past gender dreams I have had. Maybe it will be right or maybe wrong...but my track record is so good! In the dream I sat up on our bed and cradled a newborn baby in a soft blanket, I placed her on the bed and Ricky stood over us. He was doing something near the closet in our bedroom, but still he was over me. I got the sense that the baby was brand newly born and we had just moved into the bedroom from the bathroom. All wrapped up in a neutral colored gauzy blanket (I think grey) I gazed at the baby and asked Ricky if he had looked at what sex the baby was yet. He said no and I said I would look. In the dream I was prepared for a boy for some reason, thinking I bet we had a boy because I thought we would have a girl. And then there she was, a tiny perfect naked newborn girl. As I swaddled her back up I told Ricky I was so happy and that she was a girl. In the dream I said with a sense of completeness, "This is the way it is supposed to be."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A couple weeks after the dream I made check-ups for the kids in order to keep them established at our doctors office and decided to go ahead and make one for the new baby in the upcoming future. Making 11 appointments all at once is a long process. Our doctor's office has lots of large families (and homeschool families) so they are a little used to it, but it's still a circus making the appointments and getting everything straight. I have to write down everyone's birth dates in advance because I am bad under pressure on the fast quiz of birth years! That's right, I need a cheat sheet!

The office wanted/needed the new baby's name to input into the computer, or suggested I just call and schedule her appointment after the birth. I didn't want to schedule after the birth because I wanted a block of appointments together on the same day. They wouldn't use my suggestion of "new baby" as a first name. I thought it was a good idea and funny, but nope, that's not a name! So I gave them our main girl name we have picked. It felt oddly satisfying to use our girl name! And like I was telling a secret out loud. Perhaps this day I just tempted fate too much though!

The doctors office needed a birth date too. I tried my due date, but the computer had a problem with an in-the-future date. We ended up having to use a random October 20-something date. Obviously we can change it later.

I feel very at peace if this baby is a boy or a girl. So dear future baby reading this: we love you already no matter what you are and know you will be a perfect fit for this great big family of ours. We are all so excited to meet you! Even though I have done this so many times I can still hardly believe you are here to be with us! I can't believe I am a mother to so many sweet children! How is this my life?

37 weeks... I was all in the mood to take a picture of my HUGE belly and show everyone just how BIG I got over the past two weeks and then I looked at this photo and I'm like, eh... I'm small. Looking down at my own belly and trying to get out of bed I seem so much bigger. The baby is a wiggly one finally. He or she started out so quiet. Now feet and legs are busy and pokey as can be. I really love this stage.

Saturday, September 19, 2015

Beach Vacation


Family Picture Gulf Shores 2015 ~8 kids and a baby on the way
Our beach trip was great. There were ups and downs of course... I somehow actually expected everything to be perfect and it wasn't (I know go ahead and laugh), but it was totally okay and I did not have my expectations ruin the trip in any way. One day it rained, two days were super duper windy but we had some beach time anyway, one day there were horrible biting flies, one day was pretty perfect. It was interesting comparing the things we liked last year and this year as well as the things we didn't like. The trips were at the same place with totally different pros and cons! I realized the crappy spring weather we got last year was made up for in other ways during that trip. Crawfish and frog leg feasts, for example, were out of season in September but not in April. While both trips were quite windy, the fall trip had MUCH warmer weather and water. Anyway, what I'm actually trying to say is that it's great to have perspective!
You know what WAS perfect this year!? I finally got my family photo on the beach (see above) and I am a very happy momma for it! We haven't had a good one on the beach since Penelope (8) was a baby (see below). I was thrilled. Last years picture was so windy that my hair was standing on end. See. 

Mexico 2007
 I dubbed our trip the 'fun animal trip.' We saw two sting rays in the ocean (Ricky and Charlotte found them while snorkeling and Ricky stepped on one!), some of us saw dolphins, we collected up sand dollar and small crab critters. We made 47 dollars in 'sand money.' We let them all go back to their home in the ocean. Charlotte (18) caught a BIG crab in our swimming pool! That was really fun. She said it was scary. It kept looking at her and snapping it's claws at her. She had to get it from the bottom of the pool and it took her a half hour to wrangle it. The kids told us something was in the pool that looked like a crab and that it even pinched some of them. We didn't believe them! Poor kids! I checked it out after a few minutes and sure enough there was totally a crab in the pool.

Beatrice, only two, had a rough ride to Alabama. It took us 19 hours to drive there instead of a more usual 12. We were pretty calm about it, taking it all in good stride. Over the course of six days I flip flopped between going back next year or waiting three years before traveling that far again (until the new baby is three because we don't ever want to road trip with a two year old again). I flip-flopped a dozen times as if I had to make the decision right then. It's my nature. One minute I was ready to put down a deposit for next year and the next minute I was saying how we are having a stay-cation the next couple years. I think vacationing with kids is like giving birth, you need the reality of how much work it is to wear off before jumping in and doing it again!
A moment for just us


We spent a lot more money on vacation than we wanted to. (Doesn't everyone?) But we thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. Rolling into Alabama at 6 am after driving all night we wanted a nice breakfast. Breakfast at Cracker Barrel was $112 for us all, but it was worth every penny! We had such a lovely time and enjoyed each others company so much. We almost went to the Waffle House nearby but in the parking lot we decided not to. There was not much space inside at all and we were SURE to be gawked at. I suggested Cracker Barrel across the street because they don't bat an eye when an army rolls in. And sure enough they didn't. We were treated to breakfast royalty and the wait staff acted like a family with eight and half kids waddles in the door every single day. We had fun browsing the gift shop after breakfast which gave the kids more time to stretch out too. 

We shared the ever so lovely and spacious purple house on the beach with our friends and their kids. All of the kids got along so well and had so much fun. I couldn't believe how much fun! I expected normal kid stuff and for everyone to tire of each other at some point but it didn't happen. The beach house we shared is very spacious though so we were never right on top of each other. The kids and adults alike had lots of good fun. It was wonderful to have friends to vacation with, we have never done that before! We had a private pool too, so when the kids weren't swimming like fish in the ocean they were swimming like fish in the pool.

Ahhh that water, those waves, and kids. Love!!
With Friends
In the days leading up to vacation I had the normal tiresome job of packing and prep work. It is so much work getting all of us, the house, and the animals ready for vacation. I asked my husband WHY were were doing this vacation again and said maybe we should have stayed home. He said, "Because you said you have to have pregnancy beach pictures." I smiled, "And why do you give your wife everything she wants?!" Then he grinned and kissed me on the head. Those small loving gestures keep me falling in love with him over and over again. I love him so much...

And sooooooo my mini maternity shoot. 33 weeks pregnant on the beach, thanks to my dear husband...



HOME
On the way home Beatrice understood much better that we had traveled far to someplace and we needed to get back home to our animals. We timed our trip home carefully, made two stops before dark that were about two hours apart (one was at a park to play and one was dinner), and things went much better. She actually didn't even cry once (whined a couple times). She is an amazing child and once she understands something she seems to really understand! She talked about home being 'far away' while at the beach. Now she tells us the beach or purple house is 'far away.' She is very smart and cute.

In a total of 19 hours driving there and 12 hours driving home I pitifully only drove 3-4 hours of it. Ricky did all the hard work. On the way home this exchange was funny:
Me: I don't think I'm much of a road tripper
Ricky: I know you're not
Me: Well I like the idea of it but...
Ricky: You like the "idea" of winter too.
Made me laugh so hard.

I am extra glad he was able to drive all the way home because this baby belly is moving up quickly into my diaphragm and ribs making sitting harder. The baby is bouncing around in there like crazy when I sit straight up. I can breathe okay...but I am slowly noticing a big difference in that too!
 ~~~
Pulling into our driveway at 4am the first words I said were "Home is where the farm animals are." I missed our place a lot. I am always amazed how nice coming come feels. We were all awake getting home, and the kids (especially Bea) were so happy with our familiar home. There is something so cozy and appreciating about being home after a week of being gone! I had even put fresh new sheets on the bed before leaving on our trip so that we would come home to a clean and cozy bed.

Ricky and I barely remember anything as we all crashed out. When we woke up at 9am it felt like we all slept for just a half hour. It was so weird and hilarious! It was like we were gassed out. (Kinda scary to be out that cold with kids in the house though!) I woke up to the kids crashed out everywhere all over the floor, which isn't *that* unusual, but it seemed extra funny that Bea and Everett were sharing and sleeping on a body pillow in the hallway. They were out cold! I would have taken a picture but I was still too tired. 

Ricky hasn't stopped working 12-14 hour days since we got home. He's been quite busy for months now anyway, but there is a even larger price to pay for being out for a week! Plus he is trying to prepare for taking time off when the baby comes (due on Halloween!) and then the holidays will come fast right after that.  Things are good but also tired and a bit crazy around here. I got back into the swing of things quickly and picked right back up with housework the first week we were home, and then school work this week. Vacations are lovely...but trying to settle in again can be so hard. We are all excited for fall and it's all I can think about now.

Oh, I almost forgot one of the best things! Ricky told me he feels totally refreshed after vacation. I was so glad to hear that. He so deserved a nice trip and some downtime. He works very hard for his family. He swam in the ocean a lot (he loves to swim) and I'm so very glad it soothed his soul. I know what he means, got to spend an entire afternoon in the water with him and it was very rejuvenating. The winds kept me out the last couple days though. (I get cold easy.)
Can't wait for next year...

Tuesday, September 1, 2015

31 weeks



31 weeks
This pregnancy is going by quickly! I find myself scrambling to enjoy this pregnancy and thinking up ways I can have weekly mini celebrations for myself as I close out the next nine weeks! I made a fall pregnancy celebration head wreath to wear already. I am taking online belly dancing classes (and signing up for a local one in October), I have started a list of must-get supplies for me and baby (waiting to purchase until October). I have plans to: do a belly cast, paint Beatrice's belly cast with Ricky (it is still just plain), color birth pages  and write affirmations on the back of them, go on a hike with the kids and tie prayers to a tree, and get pampered by my husband a bit! But ohmygoodness time is slipping away. I cannot believe it is September 1st and we leave for our beach vacation next week! When we discussed a possible beach trip for this fall I was very newly pregnant. The first thing I exclaimed to my husband was that I get to be pregnant on the beach and have beach-belly pictures. (I have never had belly-beach pictures! How fun!) Whenever I am getting ready to visit the beach I am pretty excited, but it is not until I am there that I can truly remember just how amazing the sight, touch, smell, and experience feels. Come to think of it,  it is a lot like having a newborn baby! Some experiences, no matter how fond and dear our memory holds onto them, are nothing like actually experiencing them all over again. I can't wait to feel the ocean's energy at my feet!

Life on Fast Forward
I started Oak Meadow with the younger kids this fall and although we have barely started we are loving it so much. I have wanted to dabble in this curriculum for years and years but I was too afraid. I realized I had way too many years left of being afraid and that I really just needed to take the plunge. I also am really tired of coming up with material on my own. I'm spread so thin. I wanted direction. I wanted help. There's some we add to it too, but having Oak Meadow be our focus has been simply wonderful. We have been sewing a bunch, finger knitting, working with clay, and keeping scrapbook journals filled with artwork and our schoolwork. Things seem to be really falling into place with the younger kids and this curriculum. The teens aren't complaining that they get to start school up after vacation. I am doing a mish-mash of stuff with them, but that is easier because they are largely independent learners and can pick and chose through many things I recommend to them easily.

 Ricky started a new job (at the same firm). As I mentioned we started a new school program and we are going on vacation. We are due on Halloween! We are in the middle of 'Birthday Season'. We have five kid birth days in three months ...and our anniversary. We absolutely LOVE fall and I am so looking forward to all the fall festivities as my belly grows. Whew! It's no wonder I feel like I'm on a Ferris wheel set on fast! (There have been some other not so happy things going on, like our air and septic system both needing major, major updates and repairs. Over the summer we also dumped thousands into repairs on vehicles...we have to take the bad with the good! Life happens.)

This baby is resting his or her head smack down on my bladder which makes cleaning house... and just walking in general pretty hard. Usually my babies are more centered on me with a lot more overall pressure and very low. I am walking a ton, staying active, crawling around on my hands and knees (scrubbing the floor is great for getting baby in a good position), belly dancing, and doing squats to all help optimal baby position. (I need to get to my chiropractor to check on/ align my pelvis, but since I don't hurt I have been so bad about taking the time to go in!) I'm not concerned about this baby's alignment, but I am aware of how to optimize my babies positioning in these last weeks!
Spinning babies is a great resource for learning about optimal fetal positioning for labor and birth.
See: The 3 Principles in Pregnancy Balance, Gravity and Movement! Positive principles to prepare for, and progress through, childbirth.

Nesting has started I think... I cleaned under the fridge yesterday (filthy!), I washed the silverware caddy out, I laundered the kitchen drapes, and cleaned nearly the whole (filthy!) basement, I washed the trash can inside and out (even the bottom). I sure hope the nesting energy continues. I feel like tearing the place apart (time to sort through fall wardrobe bins and paint the basement stairs)! This is all kinda bad timing because we leave for vacation next week! I sure hope vacation doesn't totally wipe me out. This mama is just getting started!

Out of nowhere I started getting baby-girl vibes. This happened last week. Usually by now I "know" what gender we are having through intuition/dreams. Amazingly I have never been wrong...yet! I'm not actually sure if I am sure...but I started feeling a girl. I think that I really, really do think baby is a girl but I'm afraid I'll be wrong and I've never been wrong! Yet!

I don't get scans so there are no opportunities for us to cheat and find out even if we wanted to. We truly love not knowing though! It's such a special surprise that Ricky and I just love sharing with each other and the kids. It makes the birth even more exciting and special to us. I love when the kids come down early in the morning and greet the fresh newborn baby. They marvel at the baby for a while then realize to ask, "Is it a boy or a girl!?!" Every where I go people ask me what I'm having. Most are truly surprised we don't know.   

Just because we don't do scans doesn't mean other people's experiences don't touch me. I actually teared up (like a few tears actually fell!) at this yesterday:

Charlotte, our oldest (18), is lead cake decorator at a bakery. Yesterday she got to make a surprise 'gender reveal' cake for an expecting mom. A lady came in with her *secret* ultrasound picture in an envelope and pleaded with Charlotte to not lose it as it was her only copy and she didn't even know her baby's gender yet! Charlotte said the lady was really cute about it and had a little toddler girl with her. The toddler wore the same 'Big Sister' shirt we had bought for Beatrice many months ago. After the lady left Charlotte opened up the photo. Charlotte was excited to find out the cute little toddler girl has a new baby sister on the way! Charlotte thought it was really special and fun to hold this secret. She did four stacked thinner layers of cake so that she could get more pink colored frosting inside of the cake. I totally teared up as Charlotte told me this whole cake/ultrasound story! I couldn't help it, dang pregnancy hormones! As Charlotte told me the whole story with excitement and sweetness in her voice - well it was just so sweet! I love that my daughter is so touched by the celebration of new life and feels happiness for others in such a touching and sentimental way. I love how much effort and time she puts into her work. She really goes above and beyond for people and wants their cakes to be as special as their event.

Tuesday, June 9, 2015

Life With Nine Kids!

Announcing *drum roll* ...ANOTHER BABY! I'm due October 31, 2015 (On Halloween, how fun!) He or she will likely be our first November born baby, but you never know until they get here. If born in November, we'll have six months of back to back kiddo birthdays (Aug. through Jan.)! Beatrice is the only child not born in one of those months.



This is shaping up to be an interesting year with many, many adventures and changes for us!
 Beatrice is head over heels for babies. She will be two in five days and we are having SO MUCH fun with her. I remember all too well our other toddlers joyfully welcoming newborn babies into the family. Knowing her spunky, sweet, caring personality makes me extra excited she will be a big sister! She is a load of fun and totally acting two.
She is so full of life, love, and curiosity. And, she also screams. :)
She says "Mommy, Mommy pleeeease" in an amazingly sweet toddler voice when she wants something and it's pretty killer-cute.

Life in a Big Family
 All of the kids are so excited about the new baby. When I told Charlotte she jumped up and threw her arms around me hugging me excitedly. I was really, really touched that this 18 year old "kid" didn't see her mom and dad as being too overextended to have another baby to love and cherish. I actually cried I was SO touched and it was also reassuring that we are doing a good job. Our days are filled with a lot of love, but also a lot of work. Living in a large family is quite a lesson in selflessness for all of us. Meal times are hectic, groceries disappear three days after they arrive, showers turn cold if not staggered, dishes are washed around the clock, gas is expensive wherever we go. Someone always needs me. Someone is always running through the house. Depending on the kids' ages and stages we'll go through periods of time where it seems like somebody is always crying. The youngest kids are always in the fridge, running around, or asking somebody to play something with them. Everyone shares almost everything. We sweep floors 3-4x daily. We raise our hands if there's too much talking going on and another person needs to say something. (Beatrice has seen her siblings hand raise and started raising her hand and walking up to me to show me she is doing it too! It's very, very cute!)

I'm an experienced mother (which makes things easier each time), I'm a good mother, I'm a confident and empowered mother, but I'm still very much human. I still question, doubt, and struggle. I still have good days and bad days. I still learn. I still worry about if I'm doing a good job. There isn't a time that we aren't expecting a baby that I don't ask my husband why I think I'm good enough to do this again, and if we are taking care of the kids well enough to spread ourselves thinner. He says it's probably really good moms that worry and wonder if they are good enough.

I am of course busy, so I sometimes forget to do things I say I'll do: sew something for someone, make an appointment, mail something, or give someone a hair cut that has been asking. Our kids are so patient and forgiving though. One of the negative implying questions you might get with a big family is: How can you have time for ALL of them? Besides the obvious fact that we love them and don't have any other option other than to take care of them and make time for them, we also all roll with the punches. It's understood that we all do our best and we have to have patience. We know there is a bigger world in front of us than just ourselves. We respect each other. We make the time if we have to, and we get creative with it too. Homeschooling helps a lot. The kids are actually always around me. Most of all, Ricky and I structure our life around our kids -not them around us.

It's neat to to see that the kids are totally happy to add another love-bug of a baby to this life of ours, even if it means we all have to think of another little person sometimes instead of ourselves. I remember when it was Everett, Sebastian, and Penelope who were the babies. They could melt tears away from sad siblings with a goofy smile or dance, they could change bad moods in cranky preschoolers or moody teenagers, and oh how they make us laugh! Beatrice is constantly making everyone laugh and smile. It is really special how much love she adds to our life. All of the children and teens add such specialness. Seeing the children and teens interact with each other, play together, share together, work together, problem solve together, and dream together is a priceless gift. We feel like we haven't just given them the gift of family though, we feel like we have taught them to cherish children and that children are worth the work. Kids come first. Kids matter a lot.

When you break it down we only have: three big kids, two medium kids, and three small kids. Easy enough. ;)
It's not always that simple, beautiful, and easy; it's also really quite expensive, exhausting, messy and hard. What is amazing is that when each new baby arrives it's like they never weren't with us. I don't know why it amazes me each time but it does! You'd have to be crazy to have so many kids, but for us, it's a good kinda crazy.

There was a special nostalgic moment early this spring I had been wanting to write about. I was at the park with the five youngest kids. When it was time to leave I was loading up a toddler, preschooler, and the elementary aged kids into our van. I was being asked for: snacks, water, what was for dinner, when will daddy would be home, could we have ice cream, and I heard someone say they dropped their toy. It was chaos, everything happening at once. I fetched water from the front seat because some of them were certain they were going to die of thirst. After I had the littlest kids buckled into their seats I just looked at everyone and froze. I took in the craziness as kid voices filled every space of the van. I just stared at them for a moment. My heart rate was up from chasing Everett into his seat, loading up kids, a stroller, a picnic basket, a diaper bag. My heart thumped on, I felt tired but accomplished. I had a sudden and totally nostalgic feeling of when I was doing this with these five guys:
2008~ When there was five~
I became overwhelmed with gratitude that Ricky and I had the bravery, faith, craziness, and riskiness to keep growing our family. I looked at the young faces in the back of my van that day at the park, a van that now held more than twice as many people as our past mini vans did. I had such an amazing flashback of the kids in the picture above from 2008. I actually whispered to myself aloud as I climbed into the drivers seat, "I am so lucky I still get to do this. I cannot imagine not doing this still." I felt amazing gratitude.

I saved the following comment a while back from a dad of seven about large families. My heart smiled when I read it. I thought this post would be a nice place to keep it:
"I had 7 and loved every minute of it. Oh sure, we shopped at only the most exclusive garage sales, drove 5 year old vans, and built large utilitarian homes with 3-6 bathrooms, but it lasted so briefly and now they are all gone with many children of their own.  The flashlights work, the car has gas every time, there's milk; the house is clean; and I'm bored. What a riot it was..."


Monday, October 14, 2013

Beatrice's Unassisted Birth Story (half hour labor and birth -with extra info on my favorite topics of vernix, cord cutting, and not pushing)

 On Thursday June 13th (40 weeks 3 days pregnant) I had a strong feeling while grocery shopping that if I went into labor I wouldn’t make it home on time. That night Ricky and I fell asleep early with the kids. At 11:30pm I woke up, got online, and piddled around the house. It was 2:30am before I knew it. I finished up some laundry and moved a couple of kids out of our bed while deciding that I’m probably going to hold onto this baby until 41 weeks. I wasn't antsy about the birth, I felt patient and at peace. I crawled into bed, Ricky snuggled me sweetly into him, and I dozed off.

  I started having contractions like I usually do at night. They were coming and going as I drifted in and out of sleep; as they got stronger I started the visualization I had been doing for weeks of the baby being pulled down and my cervix being pulled open. Three stronger waves of contractions followed, I breathed deeply and kept focus on baby pushing down and cervix opening up. I could actually feel my uterus, baby, and cervix working synergistically (and had felt this feeling for weeks during night time waves like this). While half-asleep Ricky rubbed my belly in response to my wiggling around and deep breathing. I found it really hard to stay asleep despite the fact that I kept dosing off quickly over and over again. Soon it was too much pain to deal with while lying down so I tried a different position. I got on my hands and knees in bed and breathed through one more attention stealing short wave. Ricky asked if I was okay; this was practically a nightly ritual by now so neither one of was thinking I’m really in labor, but it definitely could be because it has to start sometime! I lumbered out of bed to use the bathroom and to see if I feel like it's active labor picking up. On the toilet I had a few really deep, strong contractions; I had to breathe though them and at one point I was grabbing onto the sides of the toilet like the world had just been turned on it's side and I was hanging on for dear life. Good golly I think I dilated to 7 in just that *one* contraction -no seriously I probably totally did. I checked and felt a nice, soft, very medium sized cervical opening. Wow! It's now very officially baby night! I don't rely on dilation as a timeline of progress, I just use it as a guide, so I never actually guesstimate how many centimeters. I measure cervical dilation more like this: small, medium, large, and oh the baby is coming out now.

  After going to the bathroom and composing myself I went to the bedroom to tell slumbering Ricky the baby is going to be born tonight! I tell him that I’m going back to the bathroom and I’ll come get him in a bit. I think it's 3am at this point. In the bathroom I feel for cervix again and there has been a lot of change. I feel like I really want to have this baby …like in a few minutes. Or now. I feel a familiar pressure that I recognize as the baby’s head slipping down a little. I actually kind of dismiss the feeling a little bit! I still had planned on walking around and visualizing opening just like I'm in early labor. Instead I just felt like squatting and letting the pressure consume my whole body. I decide that I need to relax and find relief in the shower or bath -I feel desperate for the shower. (In all my births I get in the shower during transition and then end up sitting in the tub, then I get out of the tub to give birth. I think I’ve trained my body to go there when it’s time. Plus it's comfortable!) The shower is the most comfortable, safe, warm, soothing place for me. 

 As I undressed for the shower I began shaking. My teeth were chattering and I was trembling. I smiled ear to ear and thought to myself this is unbelievable, I am totally in transition! I looked like a mad woman, determined and strong, tidying and nesting the bathroom while trembling and quickly stashing shampoos and soaps in the cupboard. I was breathing very deeply in and out through my mouth and nose. I remember having a couple of contractions, but I worked through them like a cheetah trying to outrun something. I swiftly scrubbed the tub out (for the third time that week) so it was as clean as possible. I felt like if only I could get into the shower I’d wrap my head around how fast it was all happening and labor and birth would unfold. It was happening so fast that really the only thing that was unfolding was birth itself! As I was getting into the shower I stopped and looked back to the mirror to admire my teeth chattering and marvel at my body shaking and trembling. As I looked back at myself in the mirror a wave of realization came over me: if I get in this shower Ricky’s going to miss the birth. I felt for cervix again just to be sure, and sure enough a wonderful squishy intact sac of waters met my curiosity. Only a few minutes had gone by since I told him I was in labor. It writes out like 15 minutes, but it’s just a mere few minutes.

 We had a really loud fan going in the bedroom and I don’t think I could have yelled for him quietly enough to keep the kids asleep but loud enough to wake him so I tip-toed to his bedside dripping water along the way. I bounced from one foot to the other while shaking and chattering through my teeth as I woke him; “I’m having the baby, I’m sure I’m in transition! Look at me shaking, my teeth are chattering, I can’t stop shaking!!! I’m getting in the shower and there's a water sac already!!”  

 In the bathroom we were chatting energetically as I stepped into the shower. We were surprised and excited. I was wide-eyed and had this crazy smile plastered across my face... the kind you have when you first fall in love and everyone around you knows it. (oxytocin hard at work) 
 I put my hand against the shower wall and pushed against the wall as I had a contraction. I said I felt like squatting but I didn’t want to unless it was really time. I had another contraction; he stroked the arm I used to push against the shower wall letting me know he was there for me. Contractions came fast and they left fast. Between them I was communicative, laughing, excited, talkative, and I paced in the shower. I never stopped moving my body. I had a cervical lip with my last birth (Everett's) that took a lot of pressure and pain to work through so I wanted to make sure I stayed upright and walking to use gravity for the best possible dilation and baby position. I think laying around too much in labor while watching TV contributed to the painful cervical lip I had with Everett's birth. 

At one point I blurted out, "I'm scared." in reference to that previous cervical lip, I did not want to experience that again so I was wary of squatting down and feeling that again. He told me I knew what to do and if I had a cervical lip again we'd get through it together just like last time.
 I felt for cervix or baby's head and found even more squishy water sac and absolutely no cervix, cervix was probably "fully" dilated ages ago and I knew it. I told myself that this is not like last time and everything is perfect. I marveled at the silky but textured water sac membranes. Suddenly it popped like an awesome water balloon into my right hand, like I was trying to catch it. I exclaimed that it broke and told Ricky how cool it was to feel it pop into my hand like that.

Soon I had a calm labor lull...an intermission before birth comes. That after "full dilation" awesome pause where everything just stops. (It's also called the rest and be thankful phase) Surely natures way of letting you compose yourself, breathe slower, think, sip a drink, and restore energy. This is also a time baby and mom can use to get into a good position for birth. If people were at my birth they'd all be staring at me waiting for something to happen, an undereducated birth attendant, ignorant in the true physiology of birth, would tell me to push. I realized a few births ago that a lot of women probably don't feel or get very close to this stage because they are told to forcefully push the baby out when they are 10cm. I don't do that. I try to really feel this phase and just be. When so many people are trying to rush a baby out I pause and wait. (10cm is actually an arbitrary number, women may dilate more)

 Writing about this "lull" is important to me because I haven't really written much about it in the past, nobody seems too write about it, and it's a super important part of birth -what should really be a whole stage of labor is completely overlooked and largely undefined. My friend Molly writes about it here.   
 The next thing I remember is asking Ricky to plug the bath tub -I wanted the tub partially full for the birth to keep warm and I needed to turn the shower off so I could squat. I had no intention of getting out of the tub, usually I do, but this time I wanted to stay in there. As I was standing there in the still of the labor lull a rush of hormones hit me and the baby’s head slipped fully into the birth canal. I squatted down instinctively. I was then super indecisive: I flip-flopped between on my hands and knees to squatting, then squatting with one leg up and one leg down, then a leg up on the side of the tub, then standing upright, then a squat-stand and finally then back to the other positions all over again. This baby was going to start to seriously crown in a big way and I had no idea where I wanted to be! Having done this so many times I had way too many choices in my head and I knew what they all felt like. Later Ricky told me he got nervous that I was moving around so much in the tub; he was worried I’d slip and fall. I however felt firmly planted like a rock. I told him later I felt like I had sticky gecko pads on my limbs and slipping never crossed my mind. 
  
 Our baby was starting to crown as I finally squatted down low with one leg higher than the other (I was out of time to change things up. I'll just squat and do it the same 'boring' highly effective way I always do it I thought lol.) I used some counter pressure on her velvety head to help ease her head out but it wasn't really needed and a painless contraction inched her head fully out. I noticed I talked a lot to Ricky about what was happening like I was giving him a play-by-play of a sport. I stood up on two legs again. (Okay writing this out now I see why Ricky was worried about me slipping. I was all over the place!) As I stood up Ricky took a few pictures of me holding her fully birthed head with one hand and I said, “Get a picture of me smiling.” I totally posed for a picture while I cradled her head between the two worlds of womb and Earth. Our child waited (and I waited) patiently for my body to spontaneously eject her. I squatted again and my body did its job with no forceful pushing from me, slowly she slid out further and further, one shoulder, the other, half a body... and then finally she slid out into my waiting hands. Read in detail about the Fetus Ejection Reflex and why peace and solitude in birth is important for it here.
 I caught her at 3:26am, I'm lifting her up to me for the first time as I start to sit down, look at that vernix!
 I brought her to my chest just barely a half hour after I declared I was in labor. We heard her making a noise and then a small tiny cry erupted into a larger sweeter one of her taking in air. I sat down in the tub and brought her to my chest and she got quieter, the first thing I noticed is that her cord was short. I sat down and over and over through joyous tears and smiles I said in awe, “Oh Ricky we did it, we did it again, we have another baby *just like that.* Ricky, we DID IT, another perfect baby.” I was overcome with emotion because human babies are exquisite blessings and we make them. We both noticed she was a girl just like we thought all along. 
I was in total amazement, like it was the first time a baby had ever come from my body. I'm so glad she came to us. I kissed her bunches and smelled her. We had four boys and four girls now!
  She was pink and tiny; she had a tiny scrunched up face and she looked as if we had seriously disturbed her from a tranquil slumber. 

She was covered in creamy white moisturizing vernix. I love a vernix covered newborn baby! After a short while she opened her eyes to meet us and see what all the fuss was about...
Vernix Caseosa is a creamy white substance that is full of skin protectants. Antimicrobial properties of amniotic fluid and Vernix are similar to those found in breastmilk. I literally watch this buttery cream melt into our newborns skin over about an hours time. I borrow some too and rub this lipid rich cream under my eyes! Cosmetic companies heavily research it and try to replicate this cream!
Links about why we don't wash our newborn babies:  
Benefits of Vernix – it’s amazing stuff (and here’s the scientific research to prove it) 
Don’t Wash That Baby! -Vernix does more than act as a protective barrier from liquids while in the uterus.  It acts as an antioxidant, skin cleanser, moisturizer, temperature regulator, and a natural, safe antimicrobial for the new baby post delivery.

  We laughed and laughed at the looks she was giving us, at first she was like 'who are you people and why should I care?' She looked around confused and we just marveled at her. Everett (two and a half) woke up and was overjoyed and surprised to find his mama and new baby sister in the bathtub, just minutes old. 
Everett woke up and to his surprise his baby sister was here! He had been waiting such a long time to meet her. A pregnancy is a lifetime to a kid as little as him.
 I nursed her and she latched on eagerly and knew exactly what to do; her seemingly uncaring demeanor transformed into needfulness and we were one again. Soon the placenta came and we drained the bath and put fresh water in. I sat in the tub for a long, long while. Longer than I ever had post-birth. I didn’t want to leave it all behind: the experience of having her so quickly, the joy, the surprise, the miracle of birth, the magic of watching a newborn tasting air for the first time. I so enjoyed having her, what a wonderful start to a wonderful life!


Daddy holding his fresh new baby, her cord still attached to placenta. The cord is now thin, white and limp, and drained of blood. We delay cord cutting so baby gets all her deserved blood, iron stores, vit K,  and stem cells. She also continues to have oxygenated blood while taking her first breaths instead of being abruptly cut off and on her own during that transitional period. The cord while purple and still pumping blood is a lifeline, especially if a baby gets a slow start or needs resuscitation efforts.
 Cord Cutting:
 We try to cut the cord with the kids around. The longest we've waited to cut the cord is 4.5 hours, the shortest 30 min. You can see in this visual informational video from Penny Simkin about why. This is one of the things most midwives and homebirthers like me have been doing forever and researchers are just now coming to understand! I did not like waiting 30 minutes the time I did, I like waiting longer. Even though when I waited 30min it was white and limp it still seemed like a bunch of extra blood still came from the cord both from baby and placenta. We don't tie off the cord when we delay cutting...we just cut when I decide it's time.

Cord cutting info:
Delayed Cord Clamping After Birth Better For Baby's Health
Study Finds Benefits in Delaying Severing of Umbilical Cord
"Improved iron stores in theory could help reduce the risk of learning deficiencies and cognitive delay in children, which have been linked to iron-deficiency anemia in school-age children."  
Faebook page/ lots of info: Leaving A Baby's Umbilical Cord To Stop Pulsating (Delayed Cord Clamping)
Common Objections to Delayed Cord Clamping – What’s The Evidence Say?
Delayed Cord Clamping: An all of human history practice (20th century exempted)

Three years ago I told the kids I would wait to cut Everett's cord until they woke up so they could help, but when I actually had him I decided I'd do it without them. I don't remember my reasons, I just probably didn't want to deal with the placenta bowl at that time. Most of them were really disappointed so I promised if we had another baby we would do the cord cutting as a family. I sat snuggled up on the couch with baby and placenta bowl until everyone was awake and together.

Gathering around to meet the new baby and cut her cord together

Showing the kids the cord is white now and explaining to them that when she was born it was purple, thick, and full of blood cells that were being transferred to her. She got the stem cells and iron stores that belonged to her.

Sebastian's inquisitive face looking on happily

Everyone holding her gently so she doesn't get her arms and legs in the way as we are separating her from the placenta so she can be free. We said, "You are free, you are your own person, have a good life baby!"
A little bit of excess blood left in the cord is on her leg, it dries up really quickly and stops bleeding quickly. The leftover white cord piece dries up, shrinks, and turns brown within a day. It fell off of her completely in just 3 days. I left about an inch and a half to two inches of cord on her, it shriveled up and dried up tight and much smaller.

A family picture after a great big breakfast prepared by daddy. I had a huge, huge plate of eggs with onions and peppers, toast, tomatoes, sausage, fresh baked cinnamon rolls. Seriously, the best meals ever are after a great birth!

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Memories of the Last Days of Pregnancy



6/7/13 
I was lying next to Penelope the other night when I looked over to see if she was asleep yet. What I saw by the glow of the night-light was her blue wide-eyes peeled open and a smile on her face as big as the moon. She had her hands at her chest with her fists clinched in excitement. Her legs wiggled when we made eye contact. I was surprised she was still awake and whispered, "Are you excited thinking about the new baby?" "Yes!" she squealed.
The three youngest kids always ask to see baby and rub the baby belly at night. Everett often places his head to my belly, kisses, laughs and pats. They've seen home birth videos online and pictures of their siblings being born. They understand how babies grow and how they are born and it makes the big belly more real to them I think. I map out where and how the baby is laying in there so they can visualize it. Layla likes to see the birth photos of her siblings but doesn't like seeing hers. I think that's interesting, and it matches her quirky personality. Everett loves watching birth videos, which is pretty common for this age group. He asks for more over and over. He loves seeing babies emerge and as they cry for their first breath. His face lights up like it does when he sees a fire truck –total magic. I know just how he feels (about the baby magic, the fire truck thing is cool but not all that magical to me personally haha).
6/9/13
As the weeks melted by from 36 to 38 to 39 weeks I started thinking we wouldn't do a belly cast. We did one with 3 kids (Penelope, Sebastian, Everett) and I assumed we'd do another but the weeks started slipping away and we didn't have any supplies yet. Finally I bought some supplies and wondered if they'd arrive before baby did! It's so fun to see the shape of the belly and have as a memory. I really do remember more about how they were in the womb and what the movements felt like when I see and hold my casts. It's also just a neat form of personal artwork. Ricky and I have always casted them alone after the kids were in bed as a quiet relaxing date night activity. I have always been pleased at the attention to detail my dear husband takes with the cast, he's artistic but many people don't know that about him. He gets really into smoothing it out and making sure the shape is true to my form. It's something worth writing about so I remember, because in between casts I've forgotten his intentness on the artwork. I love thinking about it now. At 39 weeks 4 days, after getting everyone else asleep for the night, we told the girls of the house they could get out of bed; we surprised them by including them in cutting plaster strips, helping their dad dip them in warm water and smooth them out on me. They thought it was really neat. Layla said she had a lot of fun and for years she thought that there was a place that you went to try on bellies and buy a cast that fit you, she didn't ever think about or understand plastering! I thought that was so interesting and cute. I love how kids think, how else was she supposed to know though?! They enjoyed helping and I was really glad we decided to let them be a part of it. We have a roll of plaster left that I told them we could make fake pull-on and-off broken arm casts for fun! They loved that idea.
A couple weeks ago Layla made a household family chart for baby's birth date. She made two charts, one for June 6-9th and one for the 10th-15th. They keep adding more dates on as their guesses don't pan out correctly. It's so cute and a real treasure to see the kids' names written with dates and times and watch as they cross them off themselves as the days tick on by. They are so involved and so excited.
In our experience babies come when you least expect it. Since I've felt like I was prepping for labor for 2-3 weeks now (a very helpful thing the body does to make natural labor and birth easier!) I half expected to have the baby sometime in the last seven days. However, I've only had one baby "early", Penelope two days early. At the time it seemed like she was really early though; the previous babies had each been born at 42 weeks. (two weeks past their due dates). Due dates are an obsession with people, really babies come when they are ready. Every day I wake up I'm glad I have another day to prepare, clean, rub my belly, take a picture, charge the camera battery. :)
6/10/13
Baby was quiet last night. “She” is usually kicking like a crazy thing! I had more of the same deep twinges and at 11pm and when Ricky fell asleep rubbing my belly I got up and cleaned the bathroom, mopped the bedroom floor and finished 2 loads of laundry. For good measure I set a clean stack of towels and receiving blankets on the bathroom counter. I felt I could sleep through the tightness and pre-labor (pre-labor is something your body can do for weeks) so I went to bed and slept like a baby --even though Everett crowded into bed three times. I woke up with Ricky's good morning kiss and of course he said, "No baby yet..." :) He agreed it's always when we least expect it. 
6/11/13
Today is 40 weeks.
Yesterday I had nice firm deep pressure and cervical pressure/twinges all day long. It reminded me of what dilation and labor is like (for me). It reminded me of the work, effort, and triumph. It reminded me that ‘oh crap I'm totally going to have this baby soon!' After a regular stressful day at home yesterday (nothing bad, just a regular day cleaning house with crazy kids.) around 2pm I hear:
"Mom! Everett's bringing a chicken inside..."
 This is exactly why I'd never go into labor during the day: too much excitement. Night-time is safer. (That's why most mammals labor at night) Everett laughed like an ornery little turd as he ran around the living room in circles after the chicken - then the chicken hopped on the couch. I put it outside, a bit flustered because I just mopped the darn floor and I’m in the middle of 20 other things. He cries to me, "Noooooo me play my chicken, my chicken!" I told him to play with his chicken outside then!!
I get back inside and Sebastian says "We had a chicken in the house once, then twice, now three. Three times we've had a chicken in our house now." Overall, in the span of the last 4 years in this house that might be a low estimate. I've brought in at least two before.  

Today I picked up the house, made the bed, switched laundry, made breakfast and had a list of simple things for the kids to do when they woke up all before 7:30am. We finished up simple chores and I told everyone to get ready to go to the park (homeschool play day). As we were leaving I painted the hallway wood floor I have been trying to paint forever! It’s a circle hallway in the middle of our two story house. The circle leads off to doorway that include a bathroom, master bedroom, the upstairs, kitchen dining room, and living room. I love it. It never occurred to me until now that I should call it a roundabout hallway! I love our old house! I’ve never seen anything like a “roundabout” hallway before. Anyway, ever since we ripped the carpet out in favor of the wood floors underneath I’ve wanted to paint the hall floor. It’s not an easy task because it’s smack in the middle of the house. It requires stranding yourself to one side or the other --not very do-able with kids. So today I decided to paint it halfway and then load up the kids in the car, paint the rest, and then leave the house for the park. It worked! Finally I did it, I got our floor painted… on my due date. 

On his way home from work I sent my darling husband to the dollar store for a couple things, poster board for the creative kids that are on an art making binge was one of them. He came home with candles too and said, “I thought you might want some soft light for the birth, these were the only unscented ones I could find.” What a love. He's so thoughtful. Every morning and night he asks how baby is and how I am. It' so neat after doing this so many times it's not just the same ol' thing but a different day. Everyday is new, every baby is special, every moment counts, every day is a gift. A few mornings ago the alarm went off at 6am and as usual he asked how baby was, I told him the baby didn't move all night and I don't like that. He rubbed and pushed gently on my belly until the baby moved. "There's the baby" he said. And these are the things I want to remember. The little personal moments in time that make my days bright, my blessings plentiful, and life so rich.

6/12/13
This morning I'm sipping on Third Trimester Tea and feeling happy as a clam my wood floor is painted. I should tend to some outdoor things today (which includes more painting!), and try to keep the kids out of the house as much as possible! I don't really care when the baby decides to come, I just really don't want the kids messing the house up and eating all the food! lol! I'm slightly OCD so I want everything in it's place and ready when I have the baby. I just heard from Aunt Sharon and her and Grandma are coming over! We love when they visit. Family and food ...the greatest gifts.


Mother’s Day 2020

Ricky took the younger kids to pick out some Mother’s day presents for me on Saturday. I knew what they were up to but before leaving Madel...