Fall 2017: It happened fast

I went looking for a fall of 2017 blog draft so I could work on it... and it doesn't exist!? What!? I thought I wrote some stuff down! (Well, I know I did, so it's lost or deleted.) Well, I tell you what, I had planned on writing a lot more than I did this year regardless. I don't know how the other big family mom bloggers do it. I'm whipped. Not sure they have a two year old like this though:

Madeline's still high impact lol!

I'm literally trying to type right now but everyone keeps standing over my shoulder and talking to me. It's so frustrating! I usually type late at night if I can. I literally fall asleep at the keyboard nearly every time I do though. Eventually I hit save and go to bed. And I do that for months. We started Reading Eggs back up in November. I'm having such a hard time focusing and pulling the day together. Madeline makes it so hard. I have been telling myself for a year that this is only temporary. It's really hard, but it's only temporary! I'm STILL at that point where I'm telling myself that...

and in the meantime:

So, did fall 2017 even happen? These pictures say it did:

I swear my kids wear clothes...sometimes. lol. (Free Range. You know.)

We made this mummy this year! Next year we are planning on making a swamp monster!

Gunnar in the middle of everything

The Trick or Treat haul was SERIOUS. The kids had a blast trading candy for weeks.

Penelope and I were Roller Derby girls! This is at our homeschool Halloween party. We had beautiful fall weather.

Ethan (17) as Joker!

Birthday Season

Birthday season runs from August 1st until October 28th. We celebrate six birthdays in three months. 

Layla's 13th Birthday
Layla turned 13 on August 1st. Sadly, Layla was sick in late July. She soon had pneumonia symptoms right before her August 1st birthday! We thought we'd be headed to the hospital if we didn't act fast. Luckily we knew the signs (uh, she had every one!). Early Sunday morning I called our doctor's after hours number. She talked to me over the phone and we got Layla on antibiotics right away. Layla had just been in to the doctor's office the week before. When Ricky picked up her prescription he proactively bought an oximeter from the drug store to check her blood oxygen levels. Her coughing was getting so bad and she could not breathe at times. I went online and bought cans of Boost oxygen and had it shipped overnight. (Amazon Prime!) It's oxygen made for high altitude day trips/hiking, headaches, strenuous exercise, or just a pick me up because some people are into that sort of thing. I wasn't messing around, I wanted some just in case. We didn't do this in place of a hospital, but to help us avoid the hospital and possibly make Layla more comfortable. Her blood oxygen levels never dropped dangerously low but they did drop. (Especially during and after huge coughing fits, which of course is to be expected). This helped us put our mind at ease though. Most importantly, she liked it and it felt like we were doing something to help. She also took Drocera homeopathic with some probable success. We also had her on near round the clock Mucinex. We really believe if we hadn't acted so quickly we would have been in the hospital. I'm very glad I had her in to the Dr. the prior week so that they knew her situation and could help us act fast on the antibiotics on a Sunday! We have had too many emergency room visits the past few years! So thankful she recovered with home care and no ER $ visit!

What I wrote on her birthday:
It's been scary and hard. She has barely eaten anything in days. The other kids are hit or miss with the illness, but mostly alright. Ricky and I are a force. Sure we are a bit unwell too, but we are taking turns sleeping as needed because some of the kids need care at night, especially Layla. Though things are hard, things are also amazing because we are doing this together. As a mother I felt heartbroken that Layla's much anticipated 13th birthday is being spent so sick. I'm also sick and therefore tired myself. I am doing the best I can, which means presents got done but no decorations or other special thing. We certainly aren't doing sweets today. Then in comes Charlotte (20). She apparently went to the store without us even knowing and bought all this stuff. Outside, so the kids didn't see, she carved out this amazing cake of healthy fruit for her little sister. Candles and all. I cried when she showed me. I'm just so thankful she made Layla's birthday special! Layla was so surprised, grateful and happy. And then thankfully Layla ate for the first time today! I'm so thankful for Charlotte. She really saved the day.

A birthday being memorable or special doesn't always mean it was the most fun or best of times. Memorable can also just be everyone pulling together for you and making you feel loved. I think Layla felt very loved.

August 23 -Sebastian's Birthday 
Sebastian is often easy going and likes to keep close to home. We really haven't ever done anything elaborate or big for his birthdays. He usually wants the same things every year and since we are so busy with birthdays in general he gets a laid back birthday! This year I really wanted to really go all out for him now that he was turning nine. I took him to get his hair cut and to buy a new shirt. When Ricky got off work we all went to a hibachi grill! It's something several of the kids had never done. We just knew Sebastian (and others) would think it was fabulous and fun. We had such a fun night!

Madeline jumped into my arms right after this. Poor kid! I kinda sacrificed her for the photo. I got my punishment though. She made me hold her for 30 minutes! lol! The fire DID NOT jump over the edge as it looks. It's contained in the griddle. The photo caught it like that though.

How funny is this picture of our teen boys: Ethan is catching shrimp. The photo bomber guy we don't know at the other table is making a hysterical expression.Ethan was amazing at catching shrimp! Hidden talent.

Beatrice was SUPER cute going to the restaurant. I told her we were going to a fancy restaurant and to get dressed. In no time flat she was dressed, headband was picked out, and she had her dress boots on. As we were leaving up she adorably exclaimed to me, "Oh I'm so excited to be a real fancy person!" She would not hold still for a picture, but I got one blurry picture at least.

Everett Turned 7! 
Everett wanted a Scooby Doo style monster hunt for his birthday. Read about it here.

 Penelope's turned 11 on October 17!
Penelope had part one of her birthday in Mansfield, Missouri a month before her actual birthday! I wrote all about it here: Mansfield trip

Madeline's Birthday! 
Madeline turned two on October 28th!


Madeline loved this walking, flipping, barking puppy. She had a good day at home with family and we played and just hung out.


While writing this I found a couple things in my email draft folder I had started. 

September 1, 2017

Dialogue between me and Ricky I saved to remember:

Me: I'm so exhausted. There's just so much to do. I don't know what I'm going to do. Everything is just SO hard...

Him: We knew this would be a hard time. It's okay. It's hard and we'll get through it. 

Me: We knew it would be THIS hard? 

Him: Yeah we knew birthday season was coming up, and school, and the boys turning 18 and...

Me: I'm talking more like long term. You know, the having NINE kids thing.

Ricky: Oh that. Yea. We had NO IDEA what we were doing with that.

 (And then we laughed REALLY hard together.)

September 25, 2017

I had a fabulous weekend with my husband. Bring married to him is the absolute joy of my life. I had a great weekend despite juggling really wild kids with him, kids that we literally didn't know what to do with at times. Everyone says we make it look so easy, and at times we sure do. But, raising all the kids is crazy hard. I'll admit, we didn't think easily a few was that hard. That's why we went in for more. Everyone has a different threshold. Not sure why we wanted to actually find ours!? Ha!

The weekend was really nice though. We talked, connected, and even reviewed our life, love, and our future. I once read when you marry someone you marry three people. The person they are, the person you think they are and the person they will become as the result of being married to you. That's pretty heavy handed and something next to nobody even begins to think about. It's true.

Over the weekend we took personality tests and discussed why our marriage works so well and we compared how well we fill each other's lives with happiness. We are vastly different people, but yet so much the same. I began to think about the people we were when we met...and the people we became. Amazing! 

Ricky told me that what we lack we find in each other. That was so incredible to hear. What an amazing couple we have become! By fate. By chance. By love. But also by choice!

Our Trip to Mansfield and the Laura Ingalls Wilder Historic Home and Museum

As an early birthday present for Penelope I took her on a trip to Mansfield, MO to visit the Laura Ingalls homestead and museum! Her actual birthday is in October, but Wilder Days is held in September each year and we wanted to go! There's a big parade in town, lots of fun events, a fiddle off, and a pageant at the town park and amphitheater near the high school. We have been meaning to go for years and I realized time was slipping away from me. Penelope will always love Laura, and I am willing to bet her passion will find her in Mansfield many more times in her life, but she only has but this one chance to go to Mansfield as a (barely) 10 year old girl. At first we were going to take the whole family, but I soon started to worry about not being able to spend the quality time with Penelope at the Laura Ingalls-Wilder Museum that I had always imagined. I became concerned that Ricky and I wouldn't get to see much of the pageant because one of us would be juggling almost two year old Madeline at all times. Bea and Madeline, and even Everett, are really too young for us to take to most places without some degree of chaos.  I really wanted to experience the trip with Penelope rather than just something we drove her to go see and do. It was a  last minute resolution that I would just take Penelope, Sebastian, and Layla. We also invited Ricky's parents and sister to meet us there too! That made the trip even more fun! So, Ricky stayed back at home with the kids. It's about a three hour drive from our house. To a lot of people that's a little, teeny-weeny day trip, to me it's A BIG DAY TRIP. I'm not really a good traveler! And, I left my nursling baby at home. It's a big deal to leave a whole day from morning to bedtime! One day it won't be, but right now it just is.

We stopped for yummy pastries on the way and had a very nice drive through the country to Mansfield, MO. The park and amphitheater where the pageant is held had a playground and a great layout overall. It was nice to know for next time that this will be totally do-able with younger kids. While waiting we bought some handkerchief dolls that were for sale.

The Pageant:  “Laura’s Memories”
The pageant was very enjoyable. It's full of little children of all ages and it's so fun to watch! The kids work so hard and the program comes together so nicely despite a very large cast of mostly children!  It really told so many stories. It was so neat to have read the books, so all the story lines and songs were already very familiar to follow. Penelope looked on in awe. She had a quite serious face for most of the performance. I think she was so amazed as it came alive.

After the pageant we headed out a couple of short blocks away to the cemetery where we got to pay our respects to Laura. Penelope left a pencil on her tombstone thanking her for writing and sharing her stories with us and the world.

Penelope loved the brief bit we saw of Mansfield and so did I. We then headed to Rocky Ridge Farm!

Laura Ingalls Wilder Historic Home and Museum

There's a large museum expansion that just opened up this year. It is filled with so many personal items: clothing, shoes, toys, books, handwritten notes, real sewing and lace hand stitched by Laura. (She was wildly talented.) So many items that belonged to and were once used and well loved by all the family. It's a beautiful, touching tribute and time capsule of their lives. It was extremely special for us, even breathtaking at times. It amazes me more than ever how many people feel so connected to her and her family through the stories about her life. It's remarkable to ponder over and over how it really wasn't all that long ago that people had to work harder than we could ever imagine working just to survive. When I was a young girl I enjoyed Little House on the Prairie the book and I loved the television show. I think it's really quite special and amazing Laura ultimately got to talk to and hear from her fans as she lived out her days on Rocky Ridge Farm. She died a very famous and well known woman. I think it's special Laura got to know the imprint she made on generations of people, even having the Mansfield library dedicated to her while still alive. And now here we are, MORE GENERATIONS enjoying her work!  It's a very special legacy that brings tears to my eyes.

Each year more than 30,000 visitors from all 50 states

and about 20 countries make their own pilgrimage to the Laura Ingalls Wilder Historic Home

You couldn't take pictures in the home, but at the entrance of your tour you could take a picture with this accurately sized Laura cutout. She was very little!

There was no photography allowed inside the home, but this photo I found (stole?) online.

I ADORE the kitchen. 

The kitchen was divine and I loved it so much. The wallpaper made my mouth drop open. The home is perfect in every way. I absolutely fell more in love with it with each room we explored. I think we all did. I cannot wait to visit with Ricky. He loves old homes too and grew up in an old farm house himself. Ricky's parents and sister Deanna loved it too. We have a real *love* for this kind of thing!

Right after snapping this photo I was told I wasn't allowed to take photos in this area. OOOPS!

This is the beautiful Rock House, a beautiful more modern home that Rose (Laura's daughter) built for her. This is where the Little House books were written. Rose, a successful author herself, first encouraged her mother to tell her stories on paper.

You can read about both homes and their roles in Laura's life here 

 

Penelope's birthday gift from the gift shop: a new beautiful prairie dress, and Sebastian's coon cap.

We went a little crazy in the gift shop. We bought bonnets and coon hats and a lovely print of the below artwork.

Back at home we started planning next years trip. The other kids are so excited. I immediately followed a bunch of Mansfield pages on Facebook to keep up to date with the town. For fun we tried to think of businesses we could open up in Mansfield. Penelope wanted to move there so bad! (still does!) So we day dreamed about it and looked at maps of the area. Immediately the kids got right back into their prairie games at home. Something adorable is that Madeline will answer to the name Baby Grace just as well as she naturally answers to Madeline because they play so often. (Laura's youngest sister.)

I started a Facebook page to record the prairie kids' adventures, crafts, and play. I hope like minded Little House / Laura fans might find us. You can find that here:  Little Playhouse on the Prairie

Sebastian...the boy behind the fits

Two weeks ago Sebastian (5) said, "When I'm a grown up I will still live here because Everett will still need me to take care of him."

How totally precious.

 The other day I saw Everett in our tulip tree out front (the kid climbs up anything). Sebastian stepped under him and said, "I'll catch you!" Everett fell and they both hit the ground flat. Thank goodness they were both laughing and neither one was hurt. It was funny. Like a floppy Grover falling on top of another floppy Grover. Now Everett runs under Penelope and Sebastian when they are on the playground out back and says "I catch you!" He's dangerously copying exactly the brotherly love Sebastian showed him.
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Tonight Sebastian had a monster size meltdown after we summoned him inside and took his stick away for the night. It was after he was yelling, being mean and repeated physical hurting/grabbing of people. At first it seemed like we might avoid a big fit but I think I may have exasperated the situation by making a point that I was taking his stick away too. Saying that he had to come in for the night and it was time for him to leave his stick outside (something we do each night anyway) would have been a gentler approach than me saying he had to come inside for the night AND I was taking his stick away too. Subtle difference but the way I made him feel powerless was huge to him. It showed too because he came back with the classic I can do whatever I want line. That totally translates to 'I'm my own person and I don't want to be controlled by you.'

So he yelled and cried for his stick for 15 minutes. I finally calmed him down by cleaning up his room and making jokes about stuff and making small talk with mostly myself. Soon he started up a conversation with me. This isn't always this easy (and 15 minutes is easy with him, he can go on in self-pity, anger, and feeling sad for a A LONG time) but sometimes it is easy. Once he perked up we finished cleaning his room together and then made some popcorn for everyone. Bath time and tooth brushing went smoothly and he was all smiles. I pulled down his covers and he said to me, "Even when I'm a grown up I'll still live here, did you know that?" I said, "Really!? That's cool!" He said, "Yup, I will live here so I can still help out."

I'm sitting here wanting to put into words what hearing that means to me. Since we are so "unfair" and so "mean." Since we aren't the bosses and since we can't tell him what to do, and since he told me last week that he could go run away into the woods if he wants to. To hear he wants to stay, to hear his ideas on why he'll live here when he's a grown up --that he wants to be a part of our family and that he clearly sees value in who he is in the family... it's priceless. He knows he helps, he knows he's loved and wanted. He knows his little brother Everett looks up to him. Penelope is friends with him. The older kids are helpers and buddies to him. His mom and dad feed, clothe, and love him. He is really blinded by it all when he's angry and frustrated, but when he's clear headed and being himself he's our happy, talkative, helpful, and vibrant Sebastian of the family. We wouldn't be the same without him. He's got a tough personality. I love him right through it.

Sebastian when he was three, he has not changed much. He's still an ol' scurvy dog!

What will we imprint on our kids today?

We all too easily forget that everything imprints upon kids in some way.
We all live our lives going through the motions of life as it happens and even though we are aware of imprinting we also forget. And life unfolds, and things happen, and kids pick up the good and the bad.

Like all parents I have those mouth drop moments when my kid says something that I never thought they would... those "I taught you better!" moments. Except sometimes I sadly realize I didn't teach them better. And that's what totally happened yesterday.

We were at the Y swimming when an older lady entered the small pool area we were in. Sebastian in very low voice (I know she did not hear him THANK you God) said, "Oh no, here comes an old person." I scowled at him and reprimanded him. I asked why he'd say such a thing or where he would have heard such a thing. And here it came... like a slap to the face, or a bucket of cold water dumped over my head waking me up, "You mom, you say 'oh no an old person' when you are driving."

Crap. I have said that. :(

I tried explaining to him that I like older people though, and I usually don't care if an old person pulls in front of me while I'm driving, but sometimes we are running late, like for example to the dentist, and that's when I say it. I told him all kinds of people drive slower than the speed limit and I should not have just picked on old people. I tried explaining that we should value all people and that I'm glad the lady, who looks like a very nice lady,  is using the pool to exercise. Unfortunately I realized in my explaining that he was not going to understand me very well at that moment sitting on the edge of the pool on a Monday afternoon. I just need to do better. I really try to not be negative or unkind and if I am negative I definitely try to be aware of how it might affect the kids and their behavior.  We don't even say "I hate ________" in our home. We encourage everybody in our home to use a better word than hate to express the displeasure of something.

This was an example of how quickly and innocently kids see the world through our eyes. They learn, absorb, and react to nearly everything. Imprinting. What a huge glaring responsibility we have as parents.

This is a great companion post to this post: Adults You Stop Bullying First

December 2013~ The good, the bad, the funny

Going on Day 25 with no refrigerator. I feel asleep last night a huge bag of lettuce did not survive  the bitter frozen night. I read online that frozen romaine lettuce can be cooked like spinach. Ugh. I really wanted salad instead. We thaw our carton of orange juice or milk in the sink. The kids think OJ slush is a treat. Frozen eggs look so cool when you crack them open. Only half of the eggs get frozen; I think it has something to do with how much air is inside them.

New refrigerator is getting delivered on Friday! We couldn't fix ours though we tried to ourselves. Nobody makes anything that lasts anymore, it's sad.

Oh! And we still have a difficult, barely working, must drain it 3x manually, washing machine, too. Trying to remedy that problem presently...

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The weather got warm (50's) for a couple of days. We took advantage and raked tons of leaves, winterized the chicken coop (we are doing the deep litter method this year!), got shelters nice and ready for other farm animals, and put up Christmas lights/decorated the house outside. I also cleaned the back porch/ refrigerator. We are using ice chests and the porch in general as the fridge. When it was in the 50's we had to keep things in coolers, now that it's so cold we're lazy and we just throw stuff out the door. I had to bring the beer and lettuce in though. Don't want those in freezing temps.

We took Sebastian (5) to the eye Dr. yesterday. I noticed six months ago his left eye would cross when he was focused on things. Ricky never noticed until I pointed it out a few times. I could totally tell it was a problem and knew we should get him in to see a optometrist. We had a wave of dentist, orthodontist and Dr. appointments the past 4 months. Like seriously A TON of appointments and so it was easy to put this off. I feel really bad now about it though.
Sebastian's Eye Appointment
Sebastian (5) is a very funny, very dry, very particular kid He's sensitive but strong and very proud. He was apprehensive about going, understandably so, but didn't want me explaining what they were going to do. He dragged his feet into the office (literally!) and I expected him to have a meltdown. He didn't though, he sat up and listened, and the exam started off well. Once we got to looking at letters or cards he started being a goofball. Ricky was with me and we could tell when he called a giant letter 'E' the letter 'A' he was faking. The Dr. moved to black and white pictures and showed him a card with an umbrella on it. Sebastian thought about it and said he didn't know what it was. I could tell he was stalling and then he had an idea click into his head. "Rain" he slyly said. The next picture was of a house and he said, very quickly with a big smile, "DOG!"

The Dr. looked at the card and asked him again, Sebastian went back to his previous tactic of saying something related to the picture. After a long deliberation he calls the house a tent. Clever. He had an ornery I don't really want to play this game grin. Little stinker, he is SUCH a character. The Dr. was so cool about it. He went with the names Sebastian chose for the pictures and continued showing him the same pictures in different sizes. Sebastian slipped up only once calling the 'rain' one it's proper name  of umbrella. 
  At first we were seriously nervous because Sebastian can get really upset and moody -even sad and loudly screaming. Make him feel embarrassed or awkward (or accuse him of something) and he often times really feels it deeply and has a very difficult time dealing with those emotions. So we didn't know what to expect when he started playing silly games. We were also starting to get slightly mortified. I also hid behind Beatrice silently laughing so hard at times. I looked at Ricky trying to keep a cool composure and it made me laugh harder! In the end the doc recommended we see a pediatric specialist for glasses, because  his two sides are very different and we will need special advice (and monitoring) about his left eye. I was worried I waited too long to bring him in. This Dr. said we didn't wait too long and this is the age that is important to get him in glasses since he is learning to write and do things close up. He may have needed surgery as a teen in his left eye if this went untreated. He sees very, very little out of his left eye and his left eye crosses when he tries to focus.
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Beatrice six months old:

Beatrice loves:

When Penelope blows up balloons -she laughs her head off!

When Ethan and Sage play peak a boo with her

When Everett and Sebastian play karate -she watches and wiggles and is entertained

When Charlotte walks her around the house when I can't

Things said in December 2013
Penelope age 7: MOM! I'm bored. I think I got the bored flu.
me: It's called winter

Everett age 3: I don't like this (pokes at his peanut butter and jelly)
me: Okay, you don't have to eat it.

Everett: It taste like zombie brains
me: lol ok don't eat it
Everett: I don't like it, it taste like zombie braaaainNNNs. And I don't like eating that.
me: OKAY, lol don't eat it!
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To close out the day I just got to say this awesome sentence: Don't color on your penis.
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I made a salt table with the kids today. It was ruined in 6 minutes flat. I asked Everett WHY, WHY did he pour his apple juice in our salt table. His reply, "Because a fire is in dare." He was also apologizing profusely and he was surprised, of course, that he had ruined the salt table. We'll try it again when I get more salt... He sees fires everywhere and he's obsessed with it! This is what a salt tray is ... http://www.learning4kids.net/2012/06/05/rainbow-salt-tray/

Sebastian age 5 is supposed to write a letter to give to Santa at pre school class. Here is what he told Ricky. haha.

Dear Santa,

I would like a haunted castle with gaurds and a giant goblin with a giant sword in his hand, a green katana would be best. The goblin should be creepy.

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Sebastian: This is my dollar, look see George Washington is on it

Me: Oh cool. You know that's George Washington?

Sebastian: Auh duh, I know George Washington is on the dollar

Me: Do you know who he is?

Sebastian condescending tone: Auh yeeah I know, don't you know I was born in the 90's, so of course I know who he is.

Me: Oh, lol, okay, I guess you do know him then.

Sebastian: Yeah, he is the first president and that was a long time ago, like 90's.

hahahaaha. Love 5 year olds!

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 Everett-3 years old said he had no eyebrows so Charlotte showed him in a mirror he did. He said in the cutest surprised toddler voice ever, "Oh! There they are! I was lookin' fo' dem'" What is even better is that a couple months ago he told me he didn't have eyebrows! I told him he did but he insisted he didn't and then ran off to play. So all this time he really thought he didn't have any for some reason. So cute and funny! So wonderful.

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Life With Little Kids

I had to take the four little kids for dental cleanings this week (Sebastian, Penelope and Everett –Beatrice is lucky to have no teeth yet.) It went very well but I wanted a margarita by the time it was over with. When I’m out with the kids it is an adventure and test in all kinds of parenting skills and patience. Come to think of it, it’s a test in those things at home too! I'm finding I need to reach down realllly deep for patience lately. The little boys are making me crazy. They are very free spirited. On a side note, Sebastian has been making friends lately! It's wonderful to see him be social!

Penelope warmed my heart and said all kinds of lovely things that made my world perfect and lovely. Unfortunately I can’t remember many of them. But this is one lovely thing she said:

"I know how to take care of babies. Because I know what babies need a lot of, mom. Do you know what they need a lot of?  They need a lot of love."

Last night we went to a church picnic, it was a lot of fun, met really wonderful people, lots to do... but the kids put Ricky and I through the ringer! Sebastian ran away from us 3 times and Everett is impossible to get out of a bounce house (but SO CUTE!), and Ricky and I spilled bright red snow cone all over a little kid that wasn't even ours.

Carrying an umbrella stroller & diaper bag & newborn +5 bags of chips and 5 trays of food while trying to get an angry Sebastian and bored Everett to stay in line and help carry their own stuff is way more impossible than it even sounds.

Poor Ricky enjoyed the picnic, but he was exhausted from work (up at 5am yesterday) and I told him we'd get home around 8:30 and the little kids would be asleep in the car. Well we got home at 9:30, Beatrice cried most the way, and NO little kids were asleep in the car. LOL. That my friends, is life with a gaggle of little kids! I'm still glad we went, but oh man was it an adventurous challenge. I can't wait for the look on my husbands face the next time I tell him we are going anywhere, hahaha.

Going Out, Penelope as the Oldest, Toddlers, Seasons...

I took the younger kids to the botanical garden today while the older kids are all at Six Flags with family. I felt very crazy taking 4 kids all 6 and under. Charlotte said I'm not crazy, just brave!

I'd never been there before and did not know what to expect. Today was a free kids day to celebrate the founder's birth-date, and it was really quite lovely. I had no idea the children's garden was that incredible! The kids and I played and had many, many great adventures! I want a membership now. (Pricy though compared to our other memberships) Beatrice slept tucked away in her carrier on my chest. And a fellow mom and blog follower of mine, who I hadn't met before, spotted me and said hello to me!!! It made my day! I'm a mini-mom-celebrity --lol ;) She is a kind and cute mama and I hope I meet her again.

Penelope (6) was amazing and stepped up as the oldest child. She pushed the stroller, held on to Everett, took him on slides and helped me in anyway she could. She naturally began to fill the role of the oldest child the minute we left the house. It was precious. I hadn't expected it at all. She watched Everett like a hawk! It's bittersweet seeing these kids grow up. I'm glad we have so many, I swear it mostly makes the days go by slower. Everett's been two FOREVER. We're pretty much ready for him to get older! LOL. He's a nut! One day though you wake up and they are 10, 12 or 16...and you realize that perhaps it's not going as slowly as you thought. Layla will be 9 in a week... and a couple weeks later Sebastian will be 5. Penelope 7 in October. You know what Penelope does to make me crazy and afraid? She constantly asks or tells me how old she will be when Beatrice is 5 or 10. And how old she will be when Everett's 5 or 10. It's freaking me out!! The worst is when she asks me how old Charlotte will be when she is Charlotte's age. Ahhhhhhhh ;)

Anyway, I'm glad I decided not to waste this beautiful day indoors. I have a goal to get out more with the kids this fall, last year was our most 'at home' year and we didn't go on as many adventures or filed trips as we usually do. I felt really bad about it but I really just didn't have it in me. I felt overwhelmed, and not just with kids either. I often felt like we had so much to do at home. It didn't help things that at the time Sebastian was a real challenge, he gets bored easily and doesn't hang out at classes/field trips very easily. I think he's changing a little bit finally. He is also a bit of a recluse and he doesn't have an easy time communicating/playing with others outside his family. Now that's he's learning more self control it's time I try to introduce him to new situations and people again. Likewise a few months ago Ricky and I noticed Everett didn't know how to act in public. He was not doing well in grocery stores and I quickly realized it was because I'd do all my shopping and errands while he was at home with Charlotte. So Ricky and I started taking him along with us every time so he could get out more. He's still an average 2 year old in the store, but his patience and understanding while out has totally changed for the better! He's learning simple things like waiting in line means we are almost done and we have to wait in line in order to leave. He learns how we communicate and talk to people we know and don't know. We talk about and see all kinds of things. Time spent out of the house, even if it's only doing mundane tasks, is so good for kids. As an adult it's easy to get preoccupied and rush through the day --but when I slow down and show him the world around him he gets quality time and life experience. Slowing down also teaches me to be a better mother. Lately I've been trying to balance home responsibilities with a newborn and fun; in August we add school to that equation. It's been a good month for it since we have had tons to do and lots of family in town --I feel like it's practice for the fall. Sometimes I get too obsessed with running the household that I forget to make time for getting out of the house! We have a list of things we'd like to do this fall and we plan on going to the library every week again. So far Beatrice is a good car rider! Yay for that! If she tuens into a difficult car rider we'll be stranded all fall! So I hope that doesn't happen. (In the winter we stay home a lot.) My kids say I'm a hibernating bear. I love how at the beginning of a season I want it to last forever:
--the sweet smell of spring, planting, mowing, rain, muddy kids, renewal
--the warm fun of summer, swimming, the river, vine ripped tomatoes, making pickles, picking peaches
--the crisp air of fall, the colors, making scarecrows, pumpkins, Halloween, thankful, cinnamon, apples
--the family essence of winter, Christmas, decorating, snow, baking, crafts

As each season passes we welcome another.
~~~
I wrote down this cute conversation this morning in regards to the kids going home with Sharon after Six Flags:
Penelope to Sebastian: The big kids got to spend the night at Aunt Sharon's!!
Sebastian: I don't care.
Penelope: YOU DON'T?
Sebastian: I only care if they get to spend the night at Six Flags.
Penelope: But, Layla?
Sebastian: I don't care about the boys spending the night at Aunt Sharon's. But I do care Layla spends the night. 
~~~`
I have a list of things I need to do before September and it's growing rapidly. When I have a list of things to do I generally add fun stuff to the list and bump the blah stuff down some spots. Can't do that forever though. We have so many appointments we need to make /go to. I hate boring stuff!

In "me" news I tied for 6th as one of the top 25 moms with big families on the Circle of Moms website. Now I have a 2012 and 2013 badge for my blog. That's neat! Thanks to those who voted for me!

Kids & Their Fun

I hear happy screaming outside...and more of it, and more of it again. It's loud and it's all four of the littlest kids. I wonder what's going on but I don't really want to know, because it at least sounds happy. They laugh, they squeal, they scream, and Sebastian is yelling, "YEAH WE NOT SCARED!" Then Penelope yells something similar, then the screaming starts again. I wonder if they have the hose out and they are drenching each other. Then a little while later I hear, "Let's tell mom Everett found an egg!" I greet them at the porch steps as they run to me.

Everett had found a guinea hen egg, no biggie. I didn't feel like wrestling it from him, he can have it as long as he keeps it outside. I ask and find out that the screaming is because they are running in and out of the goose and guinea pen and the geese are mad and angrily hissing at them. The geese are SUPER protective right now because they are sitting on a clutch of eggs (that are way past due for hatching, they are now presumed infertile and need to be taken away). The geese look down right frightening I'm telling you! Once in a while the geese will flail about and come towards us in a threatening way but they don't give chase, these aren't typically a breed that chase people.

The kids continue their game..."YEAH WE NOT SCARED!"

The whole thing is making me laugh. This is the stuff childhood is made of. 
 
Soon Everett intentionally broke his egg on a mini play slide and they squawked about it so I told them all to wash the slide with the hose. Of course they all got wet and made a water slide out of the situation. I'm so cranky from a series of prior events that I can hardly see then fun in this. It's cold water and not a hot enough day and I'll have to dry them off and clothe them all over again. I think it will be only a matter of minutes before Everett is crying from the cold water. I need to make dinner and mop the kitchen floor. Everett hurt me with the weed eater today.* Everett has been teething molars and crying for four days. I don't feel sleepy-tired but I'm so worn out. My debit card is missing. I wanted to clean the bathroom 2 days ago...

I feel rather Scrooge McDuck about the whole water-play thing. 

Bahh kids and their "fun"

  I'm shaking my head as if I don't understand kids at all ...but then I crack a half smile anyway. This is the stuff childhood is made of…and cranky grownups like me should let kids have their fun anyway. 

Later the kids file into the house sopping and muddy, with grass stuck to them asking for a hot bath. Even they were surprised at the mud and grass left behind in their bathwater.
~~~

So, it’s been a rough four days in toddler-land. Everett is teething molars and is a bear to handle. I think he also had a touch of a cold but I’m not sure. A couple kids had mild diarrhea and couple kids a mild cold over about a 3 days span, it was strange but thankfully all is good now. However, four days of screaming toddler fits left me totally wrung out. Kids that are angry when they don't feel good are SO hard! I wish he just wanted to lie around while I held him; instead he wants to burn the house down and throw oatmeal. Today we made cinnamon (biscuit) donuts and play dough. I tried to get motivated to get housework done but I really just wanted to be outside.

*The Weed Eater

 I love yard work/gardening/the outdoors. Every summer I say that if I had to get a job I’d want to do yards. I really truly enjoy it and I enjoy mowing! Last weekend was rainy and we didn’t get any of the weed eating done that Ricky had planned on so I decided I’d tackle the front myself.  I hate loading the weed eater string. It’s a total pain. The weed eater is a nice new electric one though, which is SO MUCH EASIER to run than the old gas one we had. I still haven’t mastered the string though. It’s always been extremely frustrating to me that I can’t load a weed eater.

 While I was trying to reload the string Everett came up to me and grabbed the weed eater. I told him to let go and to stop but of course he didn’t. I never thought in one hundred years he’d place his fingers over the safe-start button lock and the trigger at the same time and start the dang thing up. It’s not terribly hard to do, but it’s still a fluke he did it. Leave it up to a toddler to figure out something dangerous in literally 7 seconds time. I should have removed the battery before doing the string, lesson learned now. He started up the weed eater as it rested on my pregnant belly; all the parts I was trying to insert into the head flew out of my hand and the string whipped my shirt/belly. I threw the thing away from me in one swift motion. I hollered at Everett and told him how dangerous that was. I sat him down inside and he cried a little bit. Being "in trouble" is short lived when you are a toddler however, since you have severely selective emotional recall and very little concept of cause and effect. I lifted my shirt to see a red whipped belly and one small cut that was red and trying to bleed. I felt so sad and frustrated. I watched Everett toddle back outdoors by himself as my eyes welled up with tears. I wasn’t really hurt, but it still hurt. I didn’t like that it was my pregnant belly, I didn’t like that it could have hit my face, I didn't like that I should have been in a safer place away from a toddler in the first place (for him and I both). I think my feelings were hurt too! Also since I couldn’t get the string in right I was giving up and presumably because of being pregnant and extra sensitive I just wanted to sob. I've never seen the 1992 film 'A League of Their Own' but I thought about the famous line from it and replaced it with, "There is no crying in lawn maintenance!" I gathered myself up and showed Everett the mark on my belly and he kissed my belly and said “sorry mama.”  He’s a sweet little guy like that --usually! Ricky called me later and I told him what happened, he felt bad for me and was concerned. THAT made me feel better; a little genuine concern and sympathy for the emotional pregnant lady from the hubby = gold. :) Ricky came home and helped me finish up the yard and now it's pretty. The grass is green and things are looking good. Spring feel SO good.

Other Weekly Tidbits I want to save for memory sake:
Serious Sebastian
While talking about skydiving Sebastian (4.5) dead seriously told me and Charlotte that, "Parachuting is more dangerous if you don't have a parachute." We chuckled and told him he was right. He sensed we weren't taking him seriously enough and even more DEAD seriously and wide-eyed he followed up with, "It is. It really is. In real life, it is dangerous!"

We were dying. It was SO cute and funny.

Hammocks
Layla(8) told me this wonderful gem of a story. She was in the hammock out back relaxing when she said out loud to herself, "Ahhh this is the life!" Everett (2) within earshot toddled up and rudely kicked her out of the hammock. He climbed on in and said, "Ahhh life!"

You know you have a big family when...
Layla(8): How many people are in the bath right now?
Me: Three
Layla: Oh man. I wanted to get in.

Toddler Fun
I asked Everett (2) to 'show me my sweet boy.' He looks at me, hugs me with big arms, and smiles...then he wipes his nose on his shirt. I say playfully, "You have boogers do you!?" He says, "Mama booger boy!!" and points to me cheerfully. LOL. He's mama's booger boy now. Too funny. :)

Locked Out 
Sebastian, Penelope, Layla and I were waiting for Layla's bus outside and Everett (2) locked us out. He was laughing at the door! I had to walk into the muddy, wet goose and guinea pen with bare feet and throw rocks at Charlotte's window to wake her and tell her we were locked out. She laughed at us (I would have too!) I was also armed with a shovel because Mr. T the male guinea started trying to chase me around the pen lol. To much excitement for one morning. Coffee and breakfast now I guess. And I need to wash my feet.

Our Wild Boys
Everett takes two butter knives out of the dish washer and starts karate chopping high into the air and making a ruckus like a total insane maniac, then he chucks them down the basement stairs. I look at Sage and say, "Do you really hope this new baby is a girl too?" Sage totally laughs and says, "Yeah, we have enough boys right now." LOL! :) 

 

Kid Tidbits & The New Family Van

My toaster has seen things no toaster should ever see like transformers, cheese, and ballpoint pens. I hate toasters and the way they just seem to beg for misuse by unattended children. I guess I'll plug the toaster in the garage and let the cheese burn off... 
  Layla (8) is the cheese culprit lol. At least she's at a reasonable cooking age, unlike Everett (2.5) who just burns toast and throws pens in, narrowly escaping getting burned. From what I gather she was trying to melt cheese on bread over the toaster and the cheese fell in. How do kids think of this stuff!?

 Yesterday I started cleaning out the upstairs seasonal clothes closet (an attic like room). This is a huge project and is going to take a few days. Each year by the fall and winter I get totally lazy and don't care the room gets trashed with clothes piled high, and then each spring I sort through everything and get it all organized again. I'm really busy trying to bag up giveaways, sort clothes by age group and hang up some stuff. Suddenly I hear from downstairs, "Mom the toilet won't flush anymore." The three youngest kids are in the bathroom together, ages 2, 4, and 6. Then I hear it half- flush four times in a row. I yell for them to stop flushing it and that I'll fix it in a little while. I know they can hear me. Then it half-flushes again. "Mom, it's clogged I think."
I say again, "I.Will.Fix.It.Later." Then it flushes again. "Yup it's clogged, mom." Then I VERY loudly yell, "DO NOT FLUSH THE TOILET ANYMORE I WILL FIX IT LATER! DO YOU HEAR ME? DOOO NOOOT FLUUUSH ANNNYMORE. DO NOT FLUSH IT."

The boys and Charlotte come out of their bedrooms a couple doors down smiling at me. They have been listening to me this whole time and all they hear is me yelling about flushing and not the other end of the conversation, and it is pretty funny. They laugh and I laugh and say, "Like how hard is it too just stop flushing the bleeping toilet!?!"

The TMI part:
I check the toilet a little bit later, which I knew wasn't clogged and sure enough it wasn't. They think when there's a messy poop and some sticks to the side of the toilet bowl (usually because Everett misses the water because he's little and has to lean forward) and all of it doesn't get washed away that it's clogged. They did this last week too. It actually makes me laugh because they act so "OMG the toilet!" about it.

~

Penelope has crayons in the shape of animals and other things. They were handmade in silicone ice tray molds. Many of them are broken and so she likes putting them together so they look whole then she asks us if they are broken or not. This was cute at first, especially since she marks your guesses on paper. (She does this with crude jumbo tally mark lines and in no real order, but this is a great intro and beginning of data collection and graphing. Us homeschoolers value everything as learning!) But this has been going on for days and I don't want to guess if crayons are broken anymore, and actually most the time I can tell so I have to lie so she can feel good about tricking me. LOL. I want to tell her that I'm done playing this crayon game but she gets so excited when she 'tricks' you. She's such a 6 year old. : )

 ~

Spring here means outside time, digging, planting, pruning, and lots of yard clean up. Ricky has been busy putting some fence up and fixing it so the chickens will stay in their pen. (We have some unruly hens that keep escaping and laying eggs at at least one nearby neighbor's house! 

 We have geese sitting on eggs and wonder if they are fertile! I avoided buying new animals this spring just barely. I think we're in the clear now. I refrained from bogging us down with barnyard  critters, at least until next year when the desire will start all over again! I'm now focused on the yard work getting done and the new baby coming. Each season seems to bring an adjustment to new schedules and expectations. We expect kids to help outside and we all have many added on outdoor chores. The kids even need to get readjusted to prolonged outdoor playtime; which is usually a welcomed thing by them, but not always. 

We are getting as many things cleaned up and done as we can before the new baby arrives. The list is crazy long and all of it -inside and out- won't get done. But we'll work until we run out of time. Since I'm going through the upstairs closet it also means I'm going through newborn clothes! Baby girl, baby boy...cooing over onsies and taking inventory on things we need (like newborn baby socks, cloth wet wipes, new baby blankets...maybe a new PRETTY ergo I've got my eye on hopefully...our other is so stained up.) And I'm daydreaming about some new things I want but might not need like new cloth diapers.

~

On Saturday April 6^th we left the kids home alone to "run an errand" and surprised the kids by bringing home a 15 passenger van!!!! We kept this secret from them for 2 weeks and planned on surprising them the entire time! They love it and so do we. We took them for a spin in it, went to a favorite park, and had a happy lovely time gorgeous time.  We love our Excursion for so many reasons, but actually outgrew it one baby ago.  We fought getting a passenger van for so long! But such is life, if you have a gaggle of kids you need something to haul them all in. We can now seat  14 seat belted in! Already we tend to go more places together. Usually on a donut run just Ricky and I go with a couple kids and bring donuts home. Yesterday we all went together! So fun for us all to be able to pile in and we have tons of room! Now I’m car seat shopping. Life is so expensive!  

 When I pulled up to the house the day we brought home the van a bunch of kids huddled over to the window to see who was in the driveway and I totally teared up! I was overcome with emotion. This was a really big deal! This was going to change all of our lives. We already needed a bigger vehicle badly, but the new baby sealed the deal. We went from big family to jumbo size! At first they didn’t know it was me in the driveway (tinted windows). They just thought some stranger pulled up, and then they saw their dad pull up in his car too. I got out and slowly a couple of kids at a time wondered outside to see what we were up to. The joy on their faces was so much fun!

The kids riding in the van are SO quiet! Everyone has so much room and no one has to sit next to somebody if they don’t want to.  Ricky and I look at each other amazed…hardly any sound; just content riders. We love it. 

In other news I'm 33 weeks pregnant and feel awesome. 

Kids and Magic 8 Balls

The Magic 8 Ball is a real pain around my house. The little kids think it's totally real. Layla (8) I'm not 100% sure about. She's at the age that you can't really tell if she's believing or playing. I totally forget that Penelope (6) and Sebastian (4) think it's real and they ask me all the time what it says. I'm always distracted when they do it too, so I'm reading answers from it mindlessly and not actually realizing they are asking the ball questions. Typical situation yesterday:

Penelope: Mom what does this say?!
Me: (I glance from computer screen to 8 ball) It says it's Likely
Penelope: So what's that mean, yes?
Me: Yes.
Penelope: OHhh nooo... my baby doll IS haunted!
Sebastian: (Screaming in fear) Ahhhhugh!

They all run around, then dramatically hide.
Penelope 5 minutes later: Mom, did it really say yes?
Me: Um, nooo. Heh, heh, I was, ah, kidding.

Me: I was just kidding, ok?
Penelope: I hope my baby doll is not haunted!!

HAHA. Oh brother! You'd think I'd learn to at least ask them what they asked it before I read it! Everett (2) calls the 8 ball an egg and says "crack!" and then throws it. How has this magic 8 ball made it through four toddlers without breaking? That is the true mystery. The toddlers have ALL thrown the thing across the room for the last 8.5 years.

This morning Penelope says our two dogs' eyes looked green and creepy. She concludes they must be aliens. The next thing I know I have a Magic 8 Ball shoved in my face.
Penelope: Mom, what does this say?
Me: It says....wait, what did you ask it?
Penelope: If Chippy and Ranger are aliens.
Me: It says to ask again later.
Penelope: They are using mind control I bet.

Kids are the BEST thing ever.
Last night Sebastian (age 4) says to his dad at the dinner table, "Hey dad, did you know time is space?"
The look on Ricky's face was priceless. I have to always remember that. 

See, this is why we want to have little kids practically forever! They are so great.

Another Good Conversation (non 8-ball related this time):
Layla: Can we get some pop rocks and soda soon?
Me: I guess so.
Layla: Cause I want to try them together...because some people say if you eat pop rocks and soda together you'll explode.
Me: Yup, okay. We can try it.
Penelope pipes in: But do it outside, okay Layla?

LOL! Ricky and I totally laugh. Good thinking Penelope. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We had a big spring snow last weekend. We really want spring but take the good with the bad. Good= snow is so pretty and we can still have some fun in it. Bad= We want WARM outside time, we want to get the strawberry patches ready and some grass planted. Only 12 weeks until our NEW BABY will be here! I don't have much planting and yard work time!

Dear Sebastian,

Ohhh Sebastian. You are so wild, brave, silly and serious; you've always been all of those things, but as you've gotten older you have gotten even more so! Recently, or maybe not so recently, you started screaming and being really demanding. Really, you've acted like a jerk. Your brothers and sisters finally got fed up with you, mom and dad were busy and hoping it would pass. Time went by, more TV was watched, and soon you turned into a preschooler that I for one could not believe. I actually said to your daddy, "I cannot believe this is my child!" You were not very nice, you were awfully temperamental, you were mean. For a long tome you also had trouble controlling your anger and hitting / scratching people. You once scratched your dads arm in an angry tantrum and he actually got an infected, red, swollen scratch from your dirty little kid fingernails. I remember him washing his arm with soap and hot water in the bathroom. Finally I knew you weren't growing out of this; you needed more attention, you needed more time with your mom and dad and we had to stop turning the TV on when we were busy or you were bored. We are a reluctant TV watching family. We don't have cable or satellite; we have only a few basic channels, Netflix and video tapes. We limit TV watching for all the kids, but ALWAYS, always every preschool child of ours ends up watching too much TV at some point. By the time they are four or five years old our TV dependent preschooler gets angry when we tell them no more.  (Charlotte and Layla are the only exceptions, they never got immersed in TV.) We have to fix a cycle of boredom, habits and lack of imagination. TV suffocates the imagination of a child and it's entirely our fault it happens.

 Since we let your meanness problem get out of hand we knew it would get worse before it got better. And it did. Oh the screaming. :( It tore a hole in my heart, but a couple of kids had already done that over the years so your Daddy was there to help me remember we've gone through bad times with other kids and that it would be okay. You told me you didn't like me, you told me I was mean, you told me I wasn't your family anymore. I reacted by not looking at you. Sometimes I'd tell you that you could go get a job and move away and take care of yourself if you don't want a family. Sometimes I'd tell you that I love my family and would never tell them they weren't my family. Sometimes I'd tell you that you will not have any family if you treat people that way. I would remind you of all the things I do for you and when you'd ask for something I'd tell you I didn't feel like doing it because I don't do nice things for mean people, I stay away from mean people. "I don't want to get you a drink, get it yourself because you are mean to me and you tell me I'm not your family." This helped you understand that relationships are a two way street where people must mutually respect each other to get anywhere.

 There are many hard stages of parenting, but dealing with the willpower and independence of a toddler or preschooler is pretty high on the list. They are their own people and they feel so good about themselves when they are making decisions, but on the other side they feel so bad about themselves when we try to "control" them. Different personalities in these little people add another element. Charlotte always trusted I knew what was best for her so we reached compromise easier, Layla did not and so it was always a battle of wits with her. Sebastian, you fall in the unique category called 'I know what's best because I'm as tough as nails and a superhero-man-boy.'

 After months of your behavior going from bad to worse and a bunch of time-outs that had various results I asked myself what I needed to do. The answer is just about the same for every kid problem we've ever faced: less or no TV, more one-on-one time, more family fun time (games, exercise, field trips), more outside time, more attention, more story books read. So that's what we did. Magically (or not so magically) you have transformed over the past month. You only yell or scream about once a day instead of six times a day. You are more thoughtful, more kind and happier. You think before you act most of the time. I have had the great pleasure of watching a respect bloom between us as well. Recently if I raise my voice, get mad or say "What?!" in a frustrated tone (usually because three kids are talking to me and a baby is crying at me and I'm rushed and impatient) you will get a very serious look on your face and in a very particular and concerned tone you will say, "Don't talk to me like that" or, "You are talking mean Mommy." When that happens I drop to my knees and I go to your level. I immediately apologize and thank you for teaching me how to talk nicer. Since you have started asking me to talk nicer and I respect you, you in turn respect me when I ask you to be nicer or not yell. It's been a joyous uplifting time in our relationship with each other. Communication with people is such a wonderful skill to have and I feel like you are really learning that.

 Every morning you say good morning to everyone. This morning you happily said good morning to Everett and kissed him. You then looked at me and said, "Do you know why I say good morning to Everett? Because I love him so much." You are so sweet. I remember this sweetness, it was always inside of you. Last winter I made you breakfast and you hopped up on a stool, looked at it and cheerfully said, "Tank you Mommy for this breakfast that you made for me."

 THAT is the Sebastian I lost and found. That is the love you have in your heart for your family.

 I don't even know how many months ago it was when I noticed there was something missing, something was lacking inside of you. I mentioned to your daddy that I feel like there's no preschool magic in your life. I did this project with Penelope and Everett while you sulked and complained to watch TV. Since attempting to reclaim you as a preschooler everything feels better. You used to not want to leave the house very much, now you bring a backpack of toys and do well on outings. You used to throw fits when it was TV-off time, now you don't. You do projects more willingly and everything just seems better. The sparkle in your eye is back. Today we did that same project and you proudly worked hard at stringing your cereal necklace. You stopped halfway through and said it was a long project. I could tell you were proud and determined. I told you that you could stop and do more later or just not string it all of the way. You were enjoying having focus, seeing the results, making something useful and feeling good about your ability. You talked cheerfully, joked, laughed and worked hard.

You are four and of course this isn't the end of fits and troubles, but we're on the right path again. You have also matured tons over the past 6 months, so that you listen and talk about things. That is something that can't be forced, it comes with time. This will make things so much easier on all of us. Yesterday there was an issue and you were mad at Sage, but you listened when I talked to you about it and you actually saw a different point of view. You want to understand and you are open to the idea that the world is a big place and you are just one person. What a big boy you are becoming!

Love,
Mom