Newborn With a Fever

Our newborn had a fever. She seemed different too. I described her as “not well” which when it comes to a newborn that means we need to think about going to the Dr. or hospital. Thankfully the not well look wore off quickly and she started acting better within an hour or so. We soon noticed she had gas for a bit and that's what seemed to make her act "not well." She never cried or screamed, but she moaned and fussed. Once the gas was out she settled down and we took her to bed thinking we might be at the ER by morning because of the low grade fever. By morning she seemed comfortable but the fever had spiked to 101.7, we think. We weren't sure the thermometer we were using was correct. She also hadn't nursed in 5 hours. I cried and we started packing hospital bags, diapers, cell phones, laptops. Over the course of that time she finally ate and looked very well and happy. She opened her eyes a lot, followed us with her eyes, watched us and just overall looked happy. I realized at that moment how well I knew her in just 11 days. I knew what was normal for her, I knew what she liked, I knew how she wanted to be held, how often she ate and wet, what her poop looked like, what facial expressions are normal for her, how and what time of day she wanted swaddled. I knew how to lay her down so she was comfy and I knew how to burp her best. When other people see my newborn they see a small sweet infant that needs cared for, I see a baby who I've bonded with and who I know with my soul. She just did not seem sick enough for an ER visit. The thought of handing her over was agonizing and it seemed extreme. We couldn't fathom our healthy, breastfed, alert baby going through those tests needlessly. Her temp slipped down a little again; it still in the "go to ER range" but not very high... we waited. 

Aunt Sharon and Grandma came and got the other kids so that we could go to the hospital immediately if needed. We were so thankful for the peace and quiet during such a stressful situation. They thought the baby looked great too and even Grandma, a former nurse, supported our decision to wait it out a bit longer.

Ricky went to the store three different times over the day: to buy a rectal thermometer, an ear thermometer and then finally a breast pump. (I wanted to pump off some foremilk in case too much was making her gassy, it seemed to help.) Ear thermometers aren't thought to be reliable with infants but we found it was. Rectal temp has a higher reading than other means of temp taking but is considered best for newborns. We took those things into consideration when deciding how high her fever was. We poured over webpages of medical advice about fever, meningitis, ER visits with newborns, and personal testimony from parents. Of course for as many stories that said ‘we took our baby in, and she had meningitis’ there were just as many stories saying it was horrible ‘they put our baby through hell and back with invasive testing and never found anything wrong.’ Better safe than sorry is a great rule of thumb when it comes to your kids, but common sense and instinct are also tools we use. So we had big decisions to make.

We have long known a newborn with a temp of 100.4 or higher is cause for concern and generally warrants an automatic ER visit. Taking her to our family Dr. would yield the same recommendation; take her to the ER because if she has a fever certain things are ruled out by testing --but she’s probably okay. We know that once in the ER nearly all babies under 3 months old and all babies (neonates) under 28 days old are automatically given a spinal tap, complete blood work up and a urine test (usually by a catheter). This is then followed by a standard 72 hour hospital stay and antibiotics. If we went in we knew we had to be ready for all of that.

It’s so hard to be an educated, involved, clear thinking, decision making parent in a sea of uneducated parents and a one size fits all health care model. Parents like us are sometimes bullied into things and threatened with social services for going against medical advice. We’ve always been very fortunate and had good professional health care givers, but you never know. So we sat at home counting every wet diaper, each time she nursed, every sound she made, every poop and every coo. We even counted how many hours she slept, all very diligently. There wasn’t a noise or movement she made that we weren’t hearing and seeing. Our bags were packed just in case.

Her fever kept going down all day. It spiked back up once or twice but not too bad. I’d get upset and scared when she wouldn’t wake to nurse, but within minutes of my tears and self-doubt starting up she’d latch on, wake up, eat, pass gas while briefly fussy, look around at us for a while, wet a diaper and then we’d do it all over again.

I noticed over hours of searching that I could not find anything online reassuring about staying home and observing a young baby before heading to the hospital. I didn’t find hardly any parents talking about fever, newborns, or medical choices, let alone very many questions regarding the invasiveness of routine “mandatory” procedures.

Her fever finally stayed steady between 100.3 and 100.5. She was doing great and it climbed down from there. Ricky and I collapsed into bed relieved. We looked at her so peaceful and healthy looking. Ricky mentioned how sick she'd look if she was hooked up to wires in the hospital and crying. We were so relieved we hadn't gone in yet.

Overnight her low fever left and she was eating and waking every 2-3 hours again, instead of every 3-4 hours. She’s been fine since.

 Worth mentioning in case other parents are stumbling across my blog looking for illness information:

The degree of fever is not always a good indicator on how sick someone is. In the case of meningitis it is just something to go off of. It’s a warning sign. That is why they say to go to the hospital, so they can monitor the child and get tests running. Meningitis is rare but there’s a lot at stake and babies can go downhill quickly. The absence of these serious symptoms: stiff neck, bulging soft spot, screaming/crying, not wanting to be held made us very confident about staying home but the “what if” thoughts did keep coming. Generally it's hard to tell how a newborn is -especially if they are sleeping. Our baby was waking and alert every 4 hours and wanting to be held and talked to so we luckily had that to go off of. In addition breastfeeding gives babies a huge advantage over illness so if she wasn't getting antibodies and gut protection via colostrum and breast milk we would have been a lot more worried as well. But we were still plennnnnty worried! We find new experiences, new scares, new joys, and new challenges with every new child we have!

Links added later:
When a trip to the hospital brings a visit from CPS

Spinal Taps Carry Higher Risks For Infants And Elderly, Study Shows   
An X-ray-guided spinal tap procedure fails more than half of the time in young infants and should be used sparingly, if at all, for those patients, according to a new study. 

Penelope

A day after we were home from the hospital I saw on our dining room chalkboard wall "Bring Nellie Home" written around flowers, hearts and other pictures from the previous week. I stood and stared at it almost welling up with tears. There are those moments when you look at your child and wonder 'what if the worst happens to my child, what if this actually happens.' It can be triggered by a sad news report involving a child or something like a medical uncertainty and scare. The moment when you stop and imagine the unimaginable can also be triggered by nothing at all, just fear and imagination. It’s called having kids.

In the hospital I soaked up her blue eyes and occasional smile as I couldn’t hide from my thoughts: what I would life be if she weren’t here? When you're in the hospital and bone scans and MRI's start being mentioned you can't help but ask yourself 'what if it is something really bad... and in our future we have to watch her die?' I then thought of other parents who were in the very same hospital just floors away from me who were actually doing just that with their own kids. It's so unfair when kids are hurt. It's a fear and terror like no other I could truly imagine, and of course I have had and probably will continue to have those thoughts and moments with each and every one of my kids. Several years ago I had to stop reading a book where a child was abducted and killed because it was too disgusting and horrible for me to even read in fiction. Even worse the blue eyed child in the story reminded me so much of Penelope that I sobbed and sobbed before finally putting the book down forever without finishing it. I'm a total basket case about things like that and totally avoid it in any form real or not.

No matter how stressful things are day to day I feel we live with a lot of gratitude, I try to pass on that thankful spirit to my kids as we really strive to see the bright side. I feel like the last few months have been really trying and stressful but I'm so thankful our family works together to make the best of it all. I hope the children learn to deal with life as it comes and to keep trying and remembering that this too shall pass. Ricky and I smile and laugh through tough times, we break up a lot of kid fights and live through a lot of toddler meltdowns, we wade through work, home repairs, chores and money problems. We sigh a lot and we hold our head from the stress, we tell each other it's going to be okay... and we have each other. We all have each other. I really try not to get too caught up in the stress because as long as we all have each other things are good.  

Penelope before she turned 6

 No one ever says 'I wish I hadn't spent so much time with my kids'
There are many things that I'll never regret that are time consuming and self-sacrificing. Co-sleeping is one of those things. Beyond just typical co-sleeping though we also lay with whatever child, at whatever age, for however long, to get them to sleep. For example Penelope is six years old and I still lay with her every night to get her to sleep. Usually we let her fall asleep in our cozy bed. Sometimes this is really time consuming, sometimes I don't want to, sometimes I think it's ridiculous because I need to get something done and she needs me at bedtime. Most of the time, however, I find it calming, soothing, bonding, quiet time. Someday she won't be my little girl, she'll be big. She won't cuddle or need me as often, and one day I'll never lay with her at bedtime again.  Sometimes we are tired and heads hit pillows and eyes close quickly; more often though she winds down by telling me about some thoughts, fears or dreams. Sometimes she tells me about something that happened that day and I get to really hear her speak and I often find myself loving her excitement and voice. It's usually during bedtime that I get to find out even more about who she is and how she feels about things. I get to hear her imagination churn on about things without being distracted by daytime sounds or other kids. She tells me about interactions with her siblings, too. Once she repeatedly reminded me to talk to Layla about something that hurt her feelings. We kept forgetting during the next day to talk to Layla, but at night she'd remember and talk about it with me. She tells me sweet things too. She'll tell me she likes that I am spending more time with her during the day (I cut out internet time and deleted my Facebook two months ago). That touched me so much that she told me that! Tonight she told me that she couldn't wait until she could run again (she's on limited movement for illness). I realize as I write this it's not always what she says but how she says it. She's just so sweet. She rubs my arm sometimes while she falls asleep. I think about how safe and warm she must feel. I think about how I slow down and take the time to enjoy my kids -not just my babies- and I so enjoy our quiet bedtime routine together. Ricky and I had a chuckle the other day over her telling me during quiet bedtime talks that she doesn't like it when daddy is on a business trips but kinda does like it because she gets to sleep with me all night long. :)

Update on the illness: Penelope's health continues to improve. She still has a cough, but she is on the mend. We had a couple more days of concern, swollen neck lymph node, fevers at night that went away and a little uncertainty about if we should get a chest x-ray. She is doing great and we are very confident now she's healing. We continue to keep her close to us, hydrated and on somewhat limited activity. She was skipping around the house after three days being home from the hospital. We had to keep reminding her to rest, rest, REST!!

I'm pregnant, this winter is crazy and we had to stay in the hospital with Penelope

I think I handle stress well until I have a stressful situation turn me into a basket case with a raging headache! We were anticipating a nice calm winter but we were wrong. I guess it’s time we had an off winter after so many years of super easy illness.

It seems like every time I get caught back up and on track something just kicks us down again and so I just post a couple sick related updates instead. It's been really crazy. I haven't had the time to even post a I'M PREGNANT with baby #8 post!!!!! (We are so happy! We think baby is a girl, due in June) I'm also behind on emails and responses, and I haven't yet been able to finish posts I have written about: leaving facebook, Christmas, various kid things and now I need to update about our Penelope's illness and trip to the hospital. I have many things in my drafts folder, so one day there may be a whole storm of backdated posts. This ones backdated as well.

Our life is not that rough, we are extremely blessed and lucky and happy, but the winter has brought us non-stop challenges and every time we get past one I think ‘boy glad that’s over!’ and we get back on our routine and then BAM something else happens that sends us spiraling backward again. We are so "behind" with school and it's so frustrating because we are all trying so hard! Since November we’ve dealt with nothing truly horrible but just a whole bunch of stuff: morning sickness, teething baby, weaning baby, household flu, upper respiratory illnesses, bronchitis, two broken teeth (two different occasions!), even more teething baby, croup, hospital trip /possible serious illness in Penelope, AND even more coughing. Not to mention a VERY unruly, defiant four year old, and a two year old that does stuff like dumps pencil shavings in the toaster. (lol.) Because of Sebastian's violent and cranky behavior lately we took our large TV and video game set up down and put it in storage.

THE HOSPITAL TRIP...
I could write for days about our 10 hour ER and the subsequent 14 hour hospital room stay. We just got home yesterday and my head is still throbbing from the stress.

You probably think we spent 10 hours in the ER because it was super-crazy busy. Nope. We were sent over by our family doctor and seen in the ER within 20 minutes of arriving and had attention right away.

We were sent to Children's Hospital from our family practice office because our six year old daughter Penelope couldn't walk at all due to extreme pain in the pelvic area and groin. She cried out in pain even when we carried her from room to room in the house. She couldn’t even roll over in bed, and she had a fever too. Our Family Nurse Practitioner (FNP) mentioned toxic synovitis as a possibility but we needed to have it checked since her pain seemed so severe. We needed to rule out something more serious (like bacterial infection). After10 hours in the ER we were ultimately admitted overnight after blood work, urine test, one x-ray, two ultrasounds and one CAT scan.

The x-ray showed no fractures or injury. The ultrasounds showed no fluid around the hips ruling out bacterial hip infection and bacterial synovitis. They said her bowel looked slightly inflamed and she had "a lot of stool." They then pursued an appendicitis diagnosis against my insistence that her abdomen does not hurt her anywhere. She complained of her abdomen hurting ONLY during and after deep abdomen ultrasounds and palpation from at least 10 doctors in a row. She is sensitive and says just about everything hurts her; I know her abdomen was not an issue, she just didn't like having it touched. She was in so much pain as we moved her around that she was given a small amount of morphine. We allowed a CAT scan to rule out other abdominal issues anyway, including appendicitis, because we know how serious that could be and they would do a scan of her hips as well. We just knew something was going on in her pelvic/pubic region! Afterwards they didn't entirely rule out appendicitis but it didn't appear to be the issue. They started talking surgery on her bowel or appendix anyway. When I questioned them about possibly taking out a healthy appendix I was told, "Well, if there is one healthy organ you could have removed but not need it removed the appendix is the one you'd want it to be." I was so appalled!  Were they just suggesting that accidentally removing an organ would be okay as long as it was one that doesn’t seem to do anything much??? Who pays for that? What about poor Penelope and the risks of surgery? Furthermore, I do not believe the appendix or anything about the human body to be useless! See for yourself.

Then surgeons meet with us to poke her more and talk to us. I was still so afraid something serious might be wrong that I didn’t come unglued and irate, but I should have done this. This is one of the best hospitals in the nation, I trusted them way too much. Lesson learned. I should have never let my guard down.

She continued to hold her pubic bone and groin area in pain every time she coughed or moved and it went largely ignored. I constantly pulled up her hospital gown in front of doctors and over her underwear I pointed to her pubic bone and said, “It hurts her HERE THE MOST.” They said they had no idea what was wrong with her and because of her pain we should stay the night. We were told she was constipated because of the stool they saw on the CAT scan, which we felt was also wrong. She hadn’t been up and around much and she was in pain and frightened at the hospital. Pooping probably wasn’t on her body’s list of to-do items. Sheesh. 

I have an Orthopedic Surgeon family member who lives out of state and once he caught wind of what was going on he said Penelope's pain is exactly what he has been seeing a lot of this winter: Toxic Synovitis. He described that parents have been carrying their kids into his clinic because they cannot walk and they have had a flu or illness recently which is now accompanied by severe debilitating hip, groin and pelvic pain. Fluid does not have to be present and that's all the Dr's were looking for, but they were ignoring all of her other symptoms!

We were given a hospital room finally at 9:30pm and three more doctors (two actual doctors and one resident) examined her until 11pm. I finally kicked them out. They wanted to give her a nose swab test at 11pm while she lay exhausted and sleeping; as one Dr. continued to poke at her while she slept she moaned uncomfortably --I told him absolutely no more!!! Get out! Thank goodness I had just experienced a nose swab for the first time back in November with the flu or I wouldn’t have known what it was really. It’s totally deep, annoying and painful! Why would they not let a child rest after 12 hours of examinations and tests!?  I felt like if I let them do that to her I’d be completely betraying her. It was not needed at that moment and she was sleeping after hardly any sleep the night before. My poor baby girl. 

During the night at the hospital she made a lot of improvement and began rolling over in bed without pain! Further into the night she also sat up without pain, and finally she could walk to the bathroom! She still moved very slowly but it was finally without crying out in pain. She said she was just a little sore.

During the night when she woke up they gave her Miralax in a large cup of lemonade that she did not drink much of. She woke up later and made a bowel movement. She did NOT have a full "1x dosage" as it says on her paperwork and we do not think it helped her make a bowel movement. The next morning she made a bowel movement on her own without the aid of anything and then again on her own today.  Not constipated. 

I began to reflect more on what had happened to her (all the tests and them not listening to us) and looked further into her symptoms. Read about it here: http://4kidsortho.com/html/toxic_synovitis.html she had EVERY symptom EXACTLY described for Toxic Synovitis just like our family member orthopedic surgeon suggested.

In the morning I said I wanted her to be released and told them I thought she had Toxic Synovitis (viral). A doctor there agreed that it "could" be that... "Or constipation."

Children's Hospital sent us home (after sitting and waiting a full 5 hours for discharge papers) with the most disappointing care instructions:

 -Prescription of Miralax for constipation and instructions to give her Tylenol for fever.

-Follow up with our family doctor if needed.

-She can also go back to full activity/school.

I threw a hissy fit when leaving the hospital. I sorta-kinda yelled at the nurse’s station full of Dr’s and nurses. Oops. :P (don’t mess with Mama Bear!)

I asked our orthopedic surgeon family member what care instructions he gives a child for viral Toxic Synovitis and he said the following:
-Ibuprofen 3x a day for 5-7 days for inflammation and DO NOT miss a dose.
-No activity other than walking to and from bathroom and kitchen; lots of rest.
-NO RUNNING.
-No going to school for 5 days; too much activity there. (Not applicable to us but good to know.)
-If a fever over 102.6 for more than two days get her evaluated, it indicates the bacterial infection and she probably needs antibiotics.

We got home yesterday exhausted. Our house was tidy, new food was on the shelves, laundry was done and my Aunt, Grandma and children had worked hard at keeping everything nice and orderly. Thank God for awesome family and good kids. Sixteen year old Charlotte kept the laundry going nonstop (we were behind a few days –which is a lot when you have any kids let alone seven!) and she and the boys kept up all their chores up while we were away. What a relief after that horrible hospital trip and stress!

I was exhausted and wanted to stay home today but I still immediately called and had Penelope reexamined at our family practice this morning for a possible diagnosis of synovitits and to go over the disappointing ordeal resulting in hospital misdiagnosis and a very poor treatment plan for a still very sick little girl. Bless Charlotte, Sage and Ethan’s hearts for watching the kids again so I could take Penelope alone.  Sebastian and Everett can be such a handful right now but the big kids are so good about knowing we just need to get Penelope well! I love my family.

I reviewed all the information and hospital stay with our Family Practice Clinic Docs and they definitely agreed with me about the misdiagnosis and told not to give her the Miralax.  I was then asked if we received the chest x-ray they recommended to the hospital when they referred us over. We did not.  Apparently they have a concern about a sound in her right lung and are concerned about pneumonia. This is extra concerning to all of us today since Penelope’s cough gets a little worse every day and Penelope was discharged from the hospital with a fever.

So our treatment plan is now:

Synovitis:  Follow the same things my orthopedic surgeon family member suggests for his young patients with Toxic Synovitis. Watch for fever and to get Penelope an x-ray in 2 days if her cough is not improving, especially if it’s accompanied with high fever or if she just is generally unwell.

The family practice we go to is a holistic environment run by a medical doctor who has several RN’s & FNP’s staffed. They all have various extensive experience or degrees in homeopathy, naturopathic medicine, clinical nutrition, botanical medicine and more.  They listen to us, work with us, and we love them for it!

Penelope was prescribed two prescription homeopathic cough medicines and they really seem to be helping her coughing fits so far. I asked if other family members can use it and they can. Sebastian and Everett are both on it now too.  Lastly he told me to keep up with vitamin D drops and probiotics.

So, that is the long hospital ordeal. I have other things to write, so many thoughts and so many thanks I owe to family members. It needs its own post. Hopefully I can find the time. 

Lastly, we haven't even got the bill yet and I am gearing up to fight the hospital stay bill for misdiagnosis and sending us home with a sick child without a treatment plan.  If any Dr. thought it could be toxic synovitis we should have been given a treatment plan for that as well. Not just told she can go back to “full activity.” I already have an attorney. That’s how fast I roll! Don’t mess with Mama Bear, because this is what you'll get.

And now this is me with my baby girl cub over the past week. 

 And now hopefully I can get a break (haha) and some happy more frequent updates will come! Because "WE" as a family are fantastic. We are in love with our baby due in June (the kids are so excited) and after all this stress and craziness we just keep pulling ourselves up and getting reorganized!

SICK AGAIN: You've got to be kidding me!?

Life was getting back to normal. We got over the flu and in two short weeks we celebrated Sage's 13th birthday, we went ice skating, we saw Santa, I got all the laundry caught up again, I was feeling 100% better, I cleaned and de-cluttered like crazy; I even dusted the ceiling fans. We decorated inside and out and baked tons of cookies, we made Christmas cookie care packages for all service people/ mail carrier who stopped by, we happily made crafts, Smith-wick (our elf) brought great joy and fun. Sugarplums danced in our heads for the better half of December. I spent loads of time doing other things with the kids too, like making Santa faces from paper plates and cotton balls, watching Christmas movies, hanging red and green paper chains all over the house, playing and reading. We made delicious homemade pretzels and everyone settled in and enjoyed the time together (and being well again). On the Winter Solstice we decorated a tree outside with apple rings, birdseed pine cones and circle pretzels as offerings for the "snow angels" just like in Little Bear, and we sang.

Things were indeed TONS better. The kids were weaned of the TV after being sick and overloading on it, the house looked great, we were happily awaiting Christmas Eve. Then I noticed sniffles and sneezes starting up in the kids. I soon woke up with a sore throat, it appeared we were getting a cold. Just a day before Christmas Eve a few younger kids had fevers. I was nervous but super hopeful and sure it would be no big deal... Christmas Eve came and we watched my favorite comedy Christmas movie that we all totally enjoy and laugh wildly at, Jingle All The Way. Christmas morning came early (5:30am) and we had a lot of fun and family time full of joy. Sebastian enjoyed his toys for a few hours and then laid down on the couch with a warm rosy face; the poor little guy burned up from there on and didn't get up the rest of the day except for us to give him drinks. Ricky felt under the weather by 11am and took a nap until 1:30. Aunt Sharon and Grandma visited and overall we had a nice time and pretty Christmas dinner. By the time they left Charlotte was in bed sick and other kids seemed feverish, too.

For the following seven days after Christmas I walked around the house getting lethargic laid up kids orange juice, water, hot tea, cold rags, medicine, tissues and small meals while repeating to myself "I just CAN NOT freaking believe this. THIS IS SO NOT FAIR." Ricky recovered quickly and was able to help me thank goodness ( just as I got sicker). It was/is an upper respiratory virus and some of us now appear to have bronchitis. It's not nearly as bad as the flu but it still took its toll on all of us. With the flu it was just misery, with this "cold" at least Ricky and I got to spend time together snuggling and watch TV (although interrupted often by kids needing us). So now we're back to square one, recovering as I pick up the pieces of a messy house and getting caught up on laundry. I so did not expect this! We've never all been sick with a flu or cold ALL at the exact time and here it happened back to back in the same month and with a vengeance!! I can't fathom it still, even though I lived it! I'm thankful we are up healing up faster this time and even us bronchitis stricken people actually seem to be fairing okay. In hindsight we are awesome and we are troopers and we overcame all of this: but man did it suck. (Still sucks since we really aren't over it yet.) New Years Eve is upon us and no one feels like eating much, nothing sounds good at all and as a result we have no party food or drinks or noise makers. Bah! Humbug! :) In reality though my head is full of snot and I'm coughing like crazy so I don't care. I've been holding Everett all day because he's still not feeling well. I wanted SO bad to be all better this morning that I thought I was... I was so determined. I started trying to do my normal Monday routine: stripping the bed for washing, making the bed, cleaning my room, starting the laundry, making breakfast... I made it as far as taking the pillow cases off our pillows, making hot tea and starting one load of laundry before I was EXHAUSTED and holding a fussy baby on the bed as we both dozed off restlessly.

I can not wait to be normal again!! I have things to do and kids to enjoy and decorations to put away and a house to clean... we have loads of school we have to catch up on and I have so much hope that this was the last of illness we need to have for a long time! I hope the winter goes by as fast as it came and with lots of: trips to the Magic House, school/art projects, more pretzel making, good conversations, family games, hot cocoa, winter hobbies, a few home projects... and a snowman or two!

Sick, The Quest for Some Family Time, Weaning Toddlers

I was sick forever. Ok, it was only a week, or nine days...give or take...but it was awful! Layla brought us influenza B home for Thanksgiving, so over the Thanksgiving holiday people started falling ill. The kids were pretty easy and straight forward; fevers, tired, achy...then I got it. I was the sickest of all. It was totally pitiful how sick I got. I slept for six hours a day, the kids watched six hours of TV a day. It was misery. Everyone got over it slowly, but I got over it even slower. I'm still totally recuperating but I'm much better now. I have some cold like symptoms and until last night I hadn't slept an entire night in two weeks. Usually we have our tree up by or on Thanksgiving, we finally got it up yesterday. We have been doing Christmas crafts and finally getting more into the holiday! Funny because we had actually started early last month, we had Christmas music playing as usual in November, but then everything got put on hold.

CRANKY MOM, FAMILY TIME

I feel really bad I've been SO bitchy to the kids. I really do. I've been: tired, cranky, demanding, impatient. It happens from time to time, but being sick has just made me even more miserable I'm sure. I wish I had the grace of Michelle Duggar. I would love that. I would love to treat my little people with more respect sometimes; I would never nag at my husband the way I nag at them. It's a reoccurring theme, and I need to re-read this post and I'll feel better and try harder and start over from a place of more patience. I'm always working at being a better calmer mother-person. Things have been very stressful lately, I need to remember that first. Second: things will get better. For months and MONTHS Ricky's been working a lot, which is totally understandable and needed right now, but it has made things more stressful. We are both tired, stressed and busy and while that doesn't reflect on our relationship with each other it does on the kids. I'm more stressed, he's not seeing them as much or playing with them as much. It's just hard. A lot of nights we just rush around trying to get them in bed so we can talk for 30 minutes and then either collapse on the couch together or in bed. I'm in bed a lot since I'm so sick. We recently have been trying to watch more TV in the evening with the kids. It's hard because there is not much we can watch together as a family since our society thinks family TV has to include non stop adult themes, teen dating and/or crude humor filled with stereotypes. But, we've found a few shows we like and with holiday movies and shows being in season it's much easier right now too. At least if we are tired we can still sit around together and be in each others company instead of rushing everyone off to separate rooms for quiet time or whatever. This craziness is just a phase though: things get better and worse, rinse and repeat, it's called life! I'm looking forward to us feeling better and playing more family games in the evenings again.

WEANING THE TODDLER (otherwise known as the baby)

Before any of the sickness started, right about the time Ricky started working a lot more hours on some special projects, Everett started getting really cranky and going through a "stage." It was what we called 'a REALLY HARD time that would pass.' That has now been compounded with weaning him. So he is EXTRA cranky and needy now, but things are improving with him! He is starting to understand more and the slow almost-child-led but mostly mama-led weaning is going well. It's so very hard for a child to make that transition. Weaning is forever, it's a huge milestone as well as a huge new development into being his own person. In addition we both have to learn an entirely new toolbox of mothering and soothing skills. It's not just about him not nursing anymore: it's him not getting extra calories, him no longer getting my antibodies that help him during colds and flu, him needing something new to do instead of nursing for a big owey or emotional breakdown, him needing a new way to fall back asleep at night, him needing a new coping strategy for teething, him needing to find something to do when he is bored...and the big one me and him HAVING to find away to get him to sleep for bedtime and naps to begin with. His life is changing big time; eventually he won't remember it, but it will be forever a part of him. Even though I'm SO, so ready for him to wean, it's still bittersweet. He's still my baby, he'll always be. We have some tears at night and nap time when I just *won't* nurse or when I nurse him and then tell him 'all done now.' (Because physically it's just NOT working for me, not because I'm trying to withhold from him through will-power, I'm actually at that point where it's just not working out and milk is drying up.) As we lie together and I try to soothe him it's getting easier every few days. He's getting older and more understanding (or at least accepting). He's doing great. Today he found ice cream cones in the cupboard and wanted ice cream. We are all out of ice cream. A couple months ago he would have cried and cried because emotionally he wouldn't have been able to accept not having ice cream in the house while having the cones in his hand. Today he got over it after looking in the freezer and accepted it for a simple reality. Growing up is AMAZING. Lots to learn about cause and effect and acceptance...

Spring Turns Into Summer

Grilling

I love grilling because the oven stays off and the kitchen stays cool, there are less dishes and clean up, and it tastes good. We love grilled pineapple and veggies! In search of a healthier version of hot wings I invented (with the help of some online suggestions and searches) a fry-free non breaded grilled hot wing. The recipe will be posted on my food blog later today. 

I love when the little kids take pictures of me because I get to see myself from their point of view. 

Harvest

We are enjoying lots of fruit. The blackberry bushes are heavy with fruit, it's really exciting to see them flourish. We bought all our raspberry (thorn and thorn-less varieties) and blackberry (thorn-less) bushes from www.gurneys.com two years ago, I think. I'm so very happy with them I plan on planting more for sure. There is something so amazing about planting a 3-7 inch twig into 

the ground and watch it grow delicious berries.

                                                                         

Poison Ivy

The poison ivy has gotten way worse on us both. We itch, bust mostly we have rashes, headaches and we are tired all the time. We had to cancel our all day trip away and swimming plans for the rest of the weekend because Ricky breaks out too bad when out in the heat. His rash and energy level don't do well if he does anything other than than hang out on the couch. (Ha, the perfect ailment for him on a 3 day weekend, lucky guy!)

Yesterday he finished extending the fence to my guinea and goose pen and adding a gate, it wiped him totally out even though it only took him an hour. He broke out horribly (way worse than the picture above). I made a slippery elm paste and rubbed it all over him. It helped take the swelling down. 

I swear by slippery elm bark. It is good for so many things, but for anything skin related if it's: red, raw, weepy, blistery,  sore, crusty or wet then slippery elm bark is your cure. I used it on chicken pox and it was amazing. When Layla was a nine month old baby with chicken pox she ended up getting them so bad on her face she had deep blistery wet pits. They were very deep, wet and weeping. I sprinkled or dabbed dry slippery elm powder on her constantly and it kept them clean and dry.  Slippery elm has antibacterial and anti fungal properties, its soothing and can help with itchy and soreness.  She once got impetigo, too, and it totally cured it where most would have needed to go to the doctor. 

Ricky's now crashed out on Zyrtec (allergy pill). He said it already seems to be helping the swelling around his eyes. If he gets any worse we'll take him to the Walgreen's Take Care Clinic. We've always had great luck and helpfulness there. 

                             Guinea Fowl        

 Guinea raising has been totally satisfying! We have worked hard on taming them! They are not totally tame (I'm not sure that's possible), they are however just skittish enough that you remember they are a game bird, but they are mostly calm and easy to be around without them getting spooked much. I was thrilled when I was working in the garden and they came near me! I'm able to easily herd them into their house each night, which his really fun and neat! I had read guineas like routine and we have them on one. They are really a lot of fun. I see them out my kitchen window guarding the garden, eating bugs and grain, and visiting their house several times a day. I also see them admiring themselves in the several mirrors I put around for them. I love them and think of them as pets more than any fowl I've ever had. For the first time I got to see their watch dog instincts kick in as they freaked out squawking and carrying on when we started using the weed eater the other day. It was hilarious. I think we have two females and one male, but it's very hard to tell. They have gotten big very quickly!

Goslings snuggling up in the grass

Quickly and effortlessly goslings are becoming treasured pets. Charlotte lays in the grass and they hobble over and lay down with her! Its darling! 

They follow the kids around a little and they occasionally graze on grass themselves and take offers of weeds the kids hand feed them. 

Learning about nature and making new friends

Quiet Outdoor Spaces 

Shhhhhhhh. Mom's quiet time. 

Poison Ivy

There's a lot of interesting things we've learned about poison ivy lately... Ricky and I are both having reactions from pulling some up. I started noticing HUGE poison ivy leaves coming out from every which way all along our driveway and chicken house area. I was impressed I noticed what they were. We cleaned them up on Sunday, I wore gloves but Ricky didn't. 

Did you know you can get rashes, blisters, Etc. anywhere, not just where the plant touched you? And you actually don't spread the rash to other areas of your skin, or to others by scratching or touching your rash/blisters. 

Did you know you can "break out" for a week or longer from it? I've had new small itchy spots start to rash up several times a day everyday for the past three days. I thought: you get exposed, you get a rash, it sucks, the end. NO! Not so. You can go days or over a week (or about ten days -but as long as several weeks) getting new rashes or blisters that itch like crazy. Two days after exposure I thought I was in the clear, not so!

Did you know many people don't react the first time they are exposed? Apparently the more you are exposed the worse the reaction each time. Ricky thought he was immune all these years, but it turns out he is not. 

Genetics play a role in how severe your reaction may be.

You can have headaches and a general feeling of unwellness (and diarrhea, nausea) from exposure. You may have to see a Dr. if swelling occurs or if the reaction gets progressively worse. (Ricky has the headaches and doesn't feel well, he also has a slight flat bumpy rash starting on his face) This can also be a sign on a systemic reaction that may need treated. 

Kids under 3 don't generally react to it (although I see two spots on baby Everett). Some places online say kids under 11 don't usually react too strongly to exposure. 

I'm glad we just have rashes, not any fluid filled blisters. Some of the raw bleeding looking photos online look scary! I look more like I've scratched tiny chicken pox marks on my body. Ricky has a very flat non itchy rash. He doesn't itch at all, only me.  Still, on a scale of 1-10 (10 being the WORST reaction possible) I rate this a 2. Maybe a 3. But I'm pretty tough. 

Poison ivy is weird!!!

UPDATE 1:
Ricky did have take allergy pills, it seemed to provide some relief for a while. Two weeks after exposure rashy spots that had started to fade started to come back in full force, and this time with with warmth and more swelling. He went to the Take Care Clinic at Walgreen's (so fast and easy and they are so nice there) where he was prescribed steroids. He is on the mend, but it has been pretty sucky. He can't go outside because for more than 15 minutes or makes the rash flare up.


Update 2: He had to get on a 9 day steroid medication. He went to Walgreen's Take Care Clinic and they prescribed him that because the swelling was not going away. It's now been a week since he's been off steroids and all is well again. The swelling started going away at one point, but then came back...so it was time to go in.

Stages of getting sick baby back to sleep in the middle of the night

Stages of baby sickness in the wee early morning hours. Usually applies to colds and/or  fever, not stomach bugs.

Stage 1: restless, flops around in bed, needs changed, wide awake, rosy cheeks

Stage 2: happy to get out of bed, talkative, finds a toy

Stage 3: gets bored, throws toys, starts fussing, may need changed

Stage 4:real tears, settles down to nurse, starts kicking legs and gets bored and fussy.

Stage 5: gets bored, sits up, throws toys, looks sad with watery eyes, cries and/or whines a whole bunch

Stage 6: pace around, rocking, singing, more fussing, may need to be in baby carrier/sling

Stage 7: starts to yawn, settles down usually because baby is ready to really nurse, sleep

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's 2:45 am and we are at stage 6

Spring, planting stuff and chicken eggs

I painted us a new sign for the yard!


Spring, oh spring how I love you so! I love where I live in the Midwest. The seasons here are perfect for me. By the time I never think I want to see winter again spring welcomes me with newness and joy. By the time I'm sick of Summer the fall opens me with breezy arms, blue jeans and sweaters. I'm never really sick of the fall, my favorite season, but by the time the leaves have fallen from the trees and family gathers for Thanksgiving the joys of Christmas snow and once a year snow ball Christmas cookies make me giddy with happiness!

At the end of summer I'm always so worn out tired and frustrated with lost crops that I never want to plant anything again. But I'm always wrong. I always find I can't wait to dig into the Earth's dirt after the ground thaws!

My Grandma Wanda and I just ordered 200 day lily bulbs off eBay! We are excited! I'm going to have those things growing at every nook and cranny of my yard. They are really low maintenance! I decided last year I was going to focus on landscaping that works 100% well for my area. Things that need little water for the heat of summer, but won't drowned in hard Midwest downpours. I started paying attention what businesses have planted outside their places. Like gas stations, restaurants, Etc. I noticed everyone has daylilies!
The best part is that they are easy to grow AND they bloom all season and all the way until the first frost! Perfect. I already have some on our property, but I look forward to planting 100 more!

So we are in full force spring mode. The kids are a ton of help! Those little buggers keep getting more and more helpful with age ;) Our big project for the weekend, which is half done now, is cleaning up the front yard, putting up a temporary fence so the dogs can't access the front yard anymore and planting new grass . Our front yard has been really tore up by Great Pyrenees dogs and lots of kids. So the whole front yard is off limits this summer.

I have so many projects started and planned inside and outside I can barely think straight. I LOVE it though. I was trying to stop starting new projects before finishing old ones ....but I realize now it's just my thing. I start a whole bunch, overwhelm myself and them work like heck to get caught up. It's just my thing. I love it.

In other news we had a bad spring cold (croup?) come to our house and my baby girl Penelope (4) is SO sick. You know what my kids just LOVE is Naked Juice Green Machine. It is so full of super foods it's what we drink when we are sick. We buy a ton of it and usually only when we are getting colds or have colds. It's pretty pricey, but we think of it as medicine. We prefer the Naked Juice brand, but Bolthouse farms has a knock off that is tasty and good as well.    
Penelope's eyes get really red and sore when she is sick. Her eyes tear up and she often rubs her eyes raw when she'd this sick. Under her eyes I have to use Country Comfort Salve. This stuff is amazing for all kinds of things. It's in my must have mama medicine box. Anyhow, it helps under her eye a lot! We use it for lips, skin sores, sunburns, stings, cuts, etc.

Oh my poor baby !!