Super Dad

My husband takes care of me. He’s my protector and provider. He loves me, he loves his family and in everything he does he thinks of us first. In return I take care of my husband, I love him and I take care of our home and our children. In everything I do I think of him and the children first.

While I’m quite aware that it takes a lot of commitment and sacrifice to raise any family it takes even more so to raise a large family. (It takes more of a lot of things: more time, energy, house work, faith!) I am not surprised by my will power to be the best mother I can be. I am not surprised by the hours it takes to homeschool, bathe, feed, clean and cook for a large household. What I am surprised by is my husband’s complete attentiveness to his family. I am surprised that he doesn’t get overwhelmed easily and I am in awe that in this day and age I have a man who loves and protects his family so selflessly and joyfully.

He is a husband and dad that arrives home from work ready to help. Some days he has a relaxing break from the work day, for at least a little while, but some days there is no such thing. When he walks in the door laughing and happy kids usually greet him, but sometimes crying fits and a frazzled wife greets him. He jumps right in to whatever the evening has in store like he’s hard wired to do so. He is a dad that: changes diapers, wipes noses, pushes his girls’ curly hair from their eyes so they can see (and so we can see them), takes the trash out, brushes kids teeth, reads stories, lays with the little kids at bedtime, and if needed he does light clean up (just enough so I don't get frazzled) and puts the chickens in the chicken house in the evening. He is a dad that helps bake and cook and clean, sometimes out of necessity and sometimes out of just wanting to be with me. If I can’t get his business clothes laundered for work one week he does it without hesitation on Sunday night, though usually I manage that in just fine. And one more thing, a huge thing to me: He grocery shops. If I can’t get it done he’ll either do it after work or go with me shopping over the weekend. Usually he prefers to go shopping with me than to stay home. How did I get so lucky? I have no idea. Grocery shopping for a family of 8and a half people is a huge deal and time consuming!

At the beginning of this pregnancy my husband and I shared in the shock, wonder, amazement and craziness of our life with so many kids. This will be the seventh child we will marvel at, love and raise together. During the morning sickness stage my dear husband let me sleep until 9 or 10am on weekends, often bringing me breakfast in bed. He even smiled at me understandingly if once I was awake at 10am I decided I was too sick to actually get up…so instead I watched infomercials until noon. On weekdays he brought me cereal in bed at 6am, either right before or right after he showered, so I could get ahead of the sickness and be ready for a day of home alone with kids.

When trimester one passed I picked the pace back up and felt tons better. We fell back into our more usual roles and I didn’t need to be helped as much. He got busy at work and I got back to business at home. Life for the past four months has been busy and hectic for us both and a lot of attention has been shifted on summer fun, yard work and our kids. (Also lots of effort spent on getting back on a schedule since my morning sickness sabotaged our old schedule!)

Now that I’m further along in my pregnancy I’m groaning heavily as I flop in and out of bed, pee every 10 minutes and waddle around the house. My husband senses the difficulty and suddenly has started paying attention to laundry I need carried downstairs, kids that need extra assistance and a wife that appreciates help getting up and down. Sometimes even in the middle of the night he’ll sense me getting up and he’ll offer a firm hand to steady myself on or push on my back as I sit up for extra support. The extra attention feeds my soul and fills my heart.

Writing this today I remember about 5 years ago that I got flustered and stressed from taking care of the house and kids. I remember ranting and pointing my finger to him for more help. He calmly but sternly asked me in a very realistic way why I let myself get to this point, why I hadn’t asked him for help because he just didn’t know I needed help (he pointed out guys don’t always notice the households obvious shortcomings and need to be showed). I said that I didn’t want to bother him (I think at the time I assumed he’d help me if he wanted to, and that since he wasn’t helping it would be a bother to ask him, or maybe I'd be a nag). I’ll never forget the look on his face or what he said that day. He said, “Do you think my kids are a bother to me? Do you actually think you guys are a burden or something? Is that what you think of me?” And that day changed everything. It changed the way I asked him for help, the way he helped me, and it also changed the way I viewed him as my husband. I had once, but never again, sharply underestimated his commitment to our family.

Sometimes I wonder how he works so hard. How he keeps going on being so great to us even when times are tough and days and nights get long. Then I realize it’s the same way I do it… hard work and love. What a blessing family is!

Happy 4th of July

My husband and 13 year old, Charlotte, painted my 29 week belly for the 4th. Charlotte is going to paint other belly murals on me over the few weeks. Pictures will be posted!


Our big family...

Me and my sweetie in-between lighting fireworks for the kids

Layla having fun -she will be 6yrs old in a month


Summer is here and this is how I know: it's hot, the 4th has passed, the water and power bill are sky-high and it now takes me an hour and 40 min to water everything I've planted. Why oh why do I plant so much stuff every year!? My husband doesn't understand how I can be so happy and so stressed with my garden and landscaping at the same time. lol.

Life is good ... BUT we don't think about the fact that we had $2200 worth of unexpected bills come up this month! ugh. But we have our health, we have each other, we have another baby on the way and so we keep on moving through time happily because this too shall pass.

June

It takes me 2 hours to water everything I have planted. What was I thinking!?

I am now in pregnancy trimester 3 and couldn't be more excited! I'm growing a lil' baby and lots of plants outside all summer long. I think growing babies is easier though. I love doing both a lot though.

I just got Sebastian asleep for a nap and he has his tongue sticking out while he's sleeping. LOL. Funny kid.

Penelope was stuck up a two story slide yesterday at the park. I climbed up a ladder and offered her my free hand. I said, "Just come to me I can hold you and bring you down." And do you know what she said to me? She said, "Noooo you can't get me wit' one hand!"
Thanks for the vote of confidence, kiddo! Sheesh. :)

Ricky came home yesterday and surprised me with a window unit for the kitchen. We don't have air conditioning in the kitchen so it gets hot in the summer. And then when we cook, bake or can it's really a steam oven! I actually haven't really wanted AC in there. I know crazy. It was just one other thing to buy and run on electric and I was concerned how much it'd block my window out (I have 2 windows though). So we've briefly discussed pros and cons in the past but never really decided on buying one and I didn't think we'd buy one this year. Well he comes home with one last night. Let's think this over: He's been working 12 hour days, his car AC hasn't been running and is car is acting up, his birthday is next week... and he thinks to stop and get ME air for the kitchen? He says to me, "Well on the way home I was thinking you are in the hot kitchen more than I'm in my hot car."

What a total sweetheart.
As luck would have it yesterday I got his car an appointment for the fix-it-shop (for Monday) and arranged my schedule so he can use the Kid Bus while his car and air is getting fixed up. Greatness and happiness abounds in a loving marriage.

Well I'm in the middle of cleaning the kitchen (I've been trying to mop for over a week lol) and I'm overhauling the dining room clutter mess --which is more like a craft, piano, playroom with bookshelves and a big table. So I'm going to go fix my house... maybe I'll post pictures in a couple days.

Oh and I need to change the laundry over...

To be a nag

I really appreciate the comments that trickle in here. My apologies for not responding. I really am just busy, I always mean to respond to everyone that comments or emails me. I'm so busy in fact I've failed to even update our family photo with kiddo number six, Sebastian. And now we already await our 7th :)

I've cut out nearly all my Internet time to tend to my family and take care of my house and yard/garden. I miss blogging, I miss my website and I miss just being online! I could get a lot more done faster but Sebastian (21 months) wants to hang out with mommy A LOT an carting him around is tiring and sometimes impossible. It's ok; he gets lots of playtime on the floor with mommy which builds his little brain and teaches him a lot. When he's busy with the older kids I scamper to get something done. He LOVES his siblings. I also put him in a sling on my back, but that is getting heavy. He is a solid little boy.

I can't even seem to do things that are more important than just getting online. Like mailing cards to family, keeping in touch with people, helping others, volunteering, Etc. It's an amazing amount of work taking care of a large family.

The little kids are getting to be a challenge. They are busy, tear up everything, have many needs and keep me scrambling. Penelope (3) is always hungry, Sebastian (21 months) is always taking something apart and Layla (5) is always looking for something new to do.

The big kids seem to bicker so much. Sometimes I say they bicker non-stop, but that's not always true. They are good kids but they are a lot of work too. My main responsibility (besides homeschooling stuff) with them seems to be working on their communication with each other. They are so hard on each other, so picky and so fussy.

I tend to be a fussy mom. I want things in order and I expect a lot. I have been known to fuss and nag :(
I'm not rigid but I won't be walked on, I won't do EVERYTHING and I expect at least a couple hours of help a day from each kid. Help could be gardening, younger child helper, cooking, chores, yard word, Etc. Usually it's not a problem. I'm trying to be less fussy though... in case my fussiness has rubbed on them and they are now in return being fussy with each other. I'm no longer complaining about blueberries on the kitchen floor; I just ask it to be cleaned up. I'm trying not to complain that someone isn't doing xyz; instead I ask nicely. It seems to be helping my nagging, not sure if it will help the kids fussiness with each other. The verdict is still out on that. I think it will help. Parents bleed attitude onto their children. I need to nip this now! They will act how I act eventually. Besides I don't need to complain in my house! I have a family who is always willing to help. I just get tired of asking for help so I find myself tired and ranty about something and complain that no one is doing xyz. Well that's just the thing; I'm the leader. I'm the house manager. I'm the planner. I have to lead the house into being tidy and orderly because no one else will do it (nor do they want to!). And, no matter how sick of it I am I still have to 'go to work'. Doing my work doesn't just entail raising, homeschooling, cooking for, bathing and helping kids. It also includes figuring out how to keep the walls standing of my house when 9 people stampede through it. (the 9th person in our household isn't born yet, however. :)

Speaking of the 9th person, the 7th kiddo! We are so excited.

Anyhow a quote reminded me of something I should apply to household work. The quote is from Dave Ramsey: "Employees will tolerate a boss, but will follow a leader".

Now my kids aren't employees, but they do have jobs to do and responsibilities to uphold. For the greater good of themselves and of the household they have responsibility. I am the "boss" cause I am the one, whether I like it or not, that sets the rules, chores, homework, standards, Etc. for the household. My husband helps some too of course, but he is at work a lot..so the ins-and-outs of the household fall mostly on me. So I'm "boss." Now, how do I want to run with that position? With kids that tolerate me or kids that follow me?

Follow. And that is why I working on being a great leader as a mom.

Spring, new life, how I love you so

Well it's spring again! The winter was kinda long but the worst was the morning sickness! :) I'm pregnant! All that 'we aren't having more kids' stuff...we didn't really mean it, again. At first it was a little shocking. The pressure to have a small family and the stigma that surrounds really big families is some what daunting. It would be easier if we actually were a couple that outspokenly were having as many children as God blessed us with, we know many of these types of people. The famous Dugger family with 19 kids and counting are the most popular family for this belief. They have their own TV show. But we aren't having as many as we are blessed with even though I call each one a blessing and my long lost treasures. We really just enjoy children, don't care for birth control and parenting fills our lives. It gives us love and joy to share with each other. I enjoy creating and growing life. I am a gardener and growing life in my womb or in the ground is completely satisfying, rewarding and enjoyable. I have learned over the years I indeed do both well.

As life goes through streaks of bad and good luck, happiness, sadness, joy and hardship I'm happy to announce right now we are on a lucky streak. This is probably due to me being pregnant. We have the best of luck in life when we bring a new baby into our lives. I don't know why but we both think so. So life is good, things are great, Ricky has some possible really exciting new job opportunities. Our kids are healthy and happy, we are in love and happy, nothing is breaking although we do have several old repairs in waiting that will add up $$$ , and student loans loom overhead like a vulture. But right now we are focusing on all the debt we've paid off in the past 2 years, though. Over 18 thousand dollars we've paid off... we are still scratching our heads and wondering how we did that! (um, it was sacrifice and hard work) We follow a lot of www.daveramsey.com and have read Financial Peace. Overall life has a way of balancing out and for now balance is restored, I'm at my best with our homeschooled children, we have a flow and the warm weather has made my heart warm as well as my mind.

I've been gardening already and am very excited about this season. So far we have lots of baby seeds started and many other things needing planted. I have already started planting some things though! The trees and fruit bushes/plants we planted last year made it through the winter and are growing like weeds, producing flowers and really showing that we are growing stuff! So this year we bought 12 raspberry bushes, 6 more blueberry, 4 thornless blackberry bushes, 5 rose bushes and 50 more strawbnerry plants. I got a tiller for Christmas and it makes a world of difference. I love it! I'm getting into planting flowers this year and doing more landscaping. My main idea has always been landscaping with growing food plants! But I also am finding tons of joy in hostas, roses, azaleas, tulips, daffodils and dahlias. I am really happy.

Our new baby is due in September. I have something to write about her...or him. Soon.

Winter Already?

I just can't keep up with posting like I used to. Sadly I'm even having trouble keeping up with journaling as well. (private or online) I try though. I have been using facebook for updates to family and to keep in touch with friends. So that kinda takes the steam away from blogging. It shouldn't, but it does. And it's NOT THE SAME.

So my goodness an update of sorts...
We had a wonderful summer and a great garden. Our efforts paid off. At the end of summer I was not ready to give up gardening. I watched as I got the last harvets and wondered what I would do. Then After a few weeks I couldn't stand the thought of doing ALL that work all over again in the spring! Now I'm excited again!!! Planning for a bigger garden ad more fun. I am already planning our garden for 2010!

Our chickens are doing really well. I was going to post photos but I don't think I ever got around to it. Ricky and I put up a nice wire fence and Ricky built them a cool homemade scrap gate.

We had a great Christmas at home with only some disappointment that some family couldn't make it t us due to ice. We had a white Christmas though which was pretty. (not a lot of snow, but enough that everything looked white!)

Right now we are in the process of cleaning up our basement and fixing it up. We aren't 'finishing it' but we are making it a homey nicer place. The kids are playing down there daily already and we are still working on it. We are painting and putting all our board games and extra toys down there. We also shelved any homeschool books, workbooks, Etc we weren't currently using down there. I am an educational material hoarder! We have SO MUCH material so little time :D

We have a membership to the Magic House www.magichouse.com and have been enjoying it. Otherwise we are all good. Sebastian the baby is SO MUCH FUN. He turned 1 in August. The little girls are growing and have so much fun together! (ages 3 and 5) They play a lot and skip around the house holding hands. Warms a mothers heart. The older kids are playing board games more since I said no more video games before 3 pm and since we fixed up the basement and have a game table down there. So that's really great!

I have many many projects to tent to. I am taking a class about teaching birth art and it starts next week. I thought I'd be so ready for it! And I am not...

And July takes off in full force...with chicken pox

We got the chicken pox at our house. The older 4 kids already had them all at once years ago, so only Penelope and Sebastian need take a turn this time. Penelope had a easy time of it. She calls them 'bug bites.' She didn't even get a pox on her face! And only 1 that I could find on her head. She mostly got them on her backside. Sebastian is still in the throws of a high fever and hasn't broken out yet. Poor little guy. He's resting in the crook of my arm right now dazing in and out of reality. I do give fever reducers, just not continuously. I usually give it only if they can't get comfortable. It's also amazing how much you can reduce a fever by cool rags and a light fan in the room.

The older kids recently finished a 3 part art class at the library. Over the past week Ricky had a birthday, cousin Echo came to town, we lit fireworks, we went to six flags, we watched some family themed movies, we had a nice cool rain storm and unseasonably cool days, and we also ate lots of ice cream and homemade apple pie. Ricky took a few days off work so he actually was home 5 days in a row. Now that it's Monday it sure is hard to get back into the swing of things. Oh wait... was I ever in the swing...?

The older kids are at their theatre camp this week (with their cousin). Luckily I have wonderful family taking them to and from the majority of the camp so I don't have to go out with sick kids. Sebastian seems miserable. It's going to be a long day. A long week. I have a mountain of things to tend to. Really.

I can't wait for Charlotte to call and tell me how camp was today. I told her, "I want the full, full, full report."