Monday, September 20, 2010
Holding on to the Magic
I'm "due" tomorrow. I've thought I was going to have this baby everyday for the past 2 weeks! LOL. I've never been this... is anxious the word? And also, 'paranoid' my water would break at any second. I don't know why but this is the first time I have thought non stop about this baby being born as in: 'this baby is going to be born at any second.' I think it's because this baby has been very active over this past month and I just *feel* ready to give birth. My practice contractions have been really strong too. This baby is also spread out all over my belly and legs, feet, arms, knees, elbows are just wiggly and seem big! I've gotten a lot bigger in the past 2 weeks. The baby is packing on pounds!
I told my husband I still can't believe we are going to have a newborn again! I told him I can't imagine toting another baby around. A newborn that needs me every second! I was making breakfast and I said, "Pretty soon I'll be making breakfast while holding a baby again..." I asked him if he could imagine it. He smiled at me lovingly and reassuringly and said he could, because he's seen me do it enough times. :)
I always get like this. The amazement and wonder of how a baby isn't here one minute but then is the next is stunning. The baby is *here* now in me, in my heart and in my minds eye; but he or she is tucked far away in a watery home of darkness and contentment. It's different when they actually come out to meet the world. I can't imagine what a magical place the womb is, another dimension within our dimension. Another type of life. Thinking about it I'm so glad I haven't had this baby yet, I want more time to ponder this magic, to hold it inside, to be kicked and poked just a little bit more.
UPDATE: Funny I went into labor as I wrote this! He was born September 21 at 4:33 am