Life With Nine Kids

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Blake Litton

The morning after I wrote this happy, fun post about dealing with Sebastian when he was being a rude crazy kid I woke up to the news of a three year old boy who was beaten to death. The mother's boyfriend beat him to death for pooping his pants. Here's one detailed news story.

Last night at about 6pm I accidentally read the full police report online. I hadn't intended to, but as I was skimming it online and looking for answers I just could not stop reading. When I was done I burst into tears and sobbed until my husband got home from work. He found me in bed sobbing deep uncontrollable sobs. I felt like the world was crashing down around me as I tried to wrap my head around such horror. I felt like air was being squeezed out of me, like how you feel when some one you love has died.

Children being abused hurts me greatly, but there are a couple reasons this one hit me so hard. It happened just a few hours after I wrote about keeping our cool with Sebastian. An attitude problem with him occurred that could entice the type of anger that some parents hit, spank or beat kids over. In my blog I actually said, "I love NOT HITTING my three year old..."  
Sebastian is the exact same age as Blake; whenever you have a point of reference with your child and a victim it hits you extra, extra hard. Blake was brutally beaten and killed by a monster and it wasn't the first time he was beaten. His sister had a broken wrist and multiple injuries/bruises from God knows when, which was discovered when the boy was finally taken to the hospital. She was missing a patch of hair, too.

It just makes me so, so sad. People DO NOT understand children. This is especially true when the child does not belong to you. Something has to be done about the anger adults carry while they care for children. I think it should be common practice and well accepted for parents and caregivers to take anger management classes. The classes should be specially designated for getting through the hard times of children under age eight. Babies, toddlers and children are not "bad." They are little people who want what any adult wants: to be loved, to be respected, to be listened to, to not be pushed around, to not be hit, to be free. I have been interested in teaching newborn and toddler care classes for a very long time and still think about it often.

It can be extremely frustrating dealing with children, but the the anger people carry is pure selfishness.
 Reading the recent news report again makes me so sick and sad. I just want to take little Blake Litton and his sister home with me. I just wish I could have known and somehow convinced those horrible people to let us take them into our home. Why do people hate children to the point that they kill them? How can this happen in a civilized society? All because children cry and have accidents in their pants? It's beyond comprehendable.
Maybe I'm weak, maybe I'm overly sensitive, maybe these stories are so horrible they pass through the news quickly with only a glance because we don't want to acknowledge humans are killing little kids. It hurts to think about it, but I can't stop, 5+ kids DIE everyday from child abuse. This chart makes me desperately sorrowful.
Blake Evan Litton
Last night I went to bed thinking about Blake and woke up this morning thinking about Blake. I just can't stop being sad for this little boy. I love this toddler more than his mother. In general I find myself wondering about parents who kill their children. What they said, did, or felt when they held their baby for the first time. I wonder if they kissed their feet and played peek a boo and laughed with joy like I do. Did it ever happen once? Did they ever feel that pure love feeling once? No they just couldn't have. There's no way for one second Blake's mother ever looked at her child and felt the way I feel about mine, and then let her boyfriend beat them. I don't see how it's humanly possible to be such a monster if you ever really loved your child. (I read online, unconfirmed, that she's had three other children taken from her care)
I'm going to hold a vigil this Wednesday evening for him and talk to our kids about child abuse before hand. I thought we'd place candles and stuffed animals by the road. I just don't know what else I can do for this child or my heart - it hurts.
I sat with our four littlest kids on the couch today for hours. We *played building brains, *love sandwich, *I am, we hummed together in harmony, we sang, we tickled, we laughed. Every kid deserves that kind of childhood. They just do.
*made up games I should write about some time 


MoChicory said...

Thank you for writing about Blake. I am feeling all of those same things. I do not understand why anyone would not want all the best for their children. How could the killer just send a text message to the mother about the beating? How could the mother stay at work knowing her child was severely beaten? What is wrong with these people? It makes me sad and angry. What about the grandparents of these children? Did they not know the children were being abused? Can you imagine if your child let your grandchild be beaten and killed? Someone told me that schools no longer have classes that deal with family and childcare and that budgets don't allow for such classes. Would it be helpful if every high school student took a class on family dynamics and childcare? Could this be important enough to fit into the budgets of schools? Maybe someone who gets angry or frustrated with their child might remember something a teacher said about just walking away from an angry situation. If things are really bad, they might take the child somewhere to someone who could help care for the child. I could go on forever about this. It just makes me sick. Again, thank you for you post. My love goes out to Blake and his little sister and other family members.

Senchief said...

I know of Blake Litton's family and I believe he was in the process of being removed from his mother's custody. It didn't happen fast enough.

angrymom said...

This isn't going to be a popular post but too bad. Where is Blake's father in all this? There is talk Blake and his sister were "in the process " of being removed. Really? by whom? and when? Was his father involved in his life? If so, how were these injuries missed? I am very angry at his family for letting this poor baby down. There were enough adults around that could have prevented this horror. They all make me sick. I better stop now before I say what I really feel.

Mom of a bunch of great kids... said...

Angrymom, you are 100% correct. I have wondered who knew about this; who of their families knew and how could they do nothing? Not everyone has family around them to intervene though. Anyone who let this happen to those kids is part of the problem and his blood is on their hands.

watch dog said...

Dad was I got of his little girl that night. Courts had giving dad full custody of both little children. Just take custody was set for the Friday after his murder. Mom had 4 kids, 2 others already removed.
The question is why CPS is so slow. Another case of trust mom not dad, baby dead.
My the way are favorite drug was involved METH.

Anonymous said...

You are not too sensitive or weak. I feel exactly the same way and I too go to bed at night and wake up every morning thinking about Blake, this beautiful baby boy. You are also 100% correct in saying that this entire horrible evil act is "beyond comprehend-able" Since the moment I found out about what happened I've felt an overbearing pull inside of me to do something. My husband and I attended the vigil for Blake in Stover last Thursday night. We drove 2 hours to get there, which is nothing to honor this baby boy, and would've thought there would have been a lot more people there. The paper reported 1,500 to 2,000 people which is absurd they added too many zeros, there were 150 to 200 people at very very most. I was also a little bothered by people's behavior, most were being loud and laughing. This vigil was not to honor an elderly person that had lived a full life.
The ministers that spoke were wonderful, and the kids that were selling child abuse awareness bracelets and t-shirts were great, I think I ready they raised around $1,000~all of this was to help the family with funeral expenses.
I had posted the information about the vigil on my facebook page, and added that "I'm sure most of you are aware of this, but just in case here's the info" and I was shocked at how many return posts, private messages, and text messages I received from peers in our community that hadn't even heard about this happening yet.
I guess my point is WE THE PEOPLE OF OUR COMMUNITY, STATE, NATION etc... need to stand up and fight for the tiny humans that cannot fight for themselves. I really appreciate you blogging about this and think that we all need to keep talking about this, not act like the media and skip to the next event, do whatever necessary to educate ourselves and others about stopping child abuse, making it known to anyone that does abuse a child or is thinking about abusing a child that it is NOT OKAY AND YOU WILL BE PUNISHED!!!! Communicating with children at school, just like we do with the D.A.R.E. program, that they do have a voice and people care about what happens to them and that they can tell someone safe if these things are happening and someone WILL LISTEN TO THEM! There is a wonderful organization that I came across last year researching child abuse called "W.A.C.A" or The War Against Child Abuse. They are planning a "million man march" for April 2013 and are asking for every state to get involved. I've already sent an email to ask how to get Missouri involved and waiting for a reply. This "war" is something we all should be involved in and the more we spread the news and keep it present that this has to stop the more we can help these babies being abused. I'm sorry if I've rambled on here and bounced a little, I'm just so angry at these monsters and so saddened for Blake and his little sister, and like you "mom of a bunch of great kids" would've taken those two in our home in a heartbeat.
My husband and I are actively pursuing beginning an organization to stop child abuse and get our community to join in the War Against Child Abuse. If any of you have any advice or want to help in any way, please let me know. Thank you to all of you for commenting and keep spreading the word!
Kristen Hasselbring
PO Box 3578
Camdenton, MO 65020